Quote from: pretty on December 18, 2011, 04:56:58 PM
I'm just commenting on the rude way MtF identity is being trivialized here, as if MtFs aren't really female-identified and it's just some kind of running joke.

When did I imply this?

Quote from: pretty on December 18, 2011, 04:56:58 PM
No problem with androgyny nor did I claim to have one, I'm just commenting on the rude way MtF identity is being trivialized here, as if MtFs aren't really female-identified and it's just some kind of running joke. And I initially thought this in reaction to the blog itself, it's not really specific to this subforum.

No one trivialized the MTF experiance.

This androgne subforum has had my attention for a couple years due to my spouse being an androgyne. I have not seen the trivializing you claim to be going on.
Like I said, this is the androgyne subforum, and we MTF types should be respectful in their home.

Quote from: Julian on December 14, 2011, 11:05:21 AM
I found a blog yesterday called FtMtF, and it got me thinking. One way I've come up with to explain my identity is that I sometimes feel like a woman trapped in a man's body trapped in a woman's body. And it's true, to an extent. I'm okay with being perceived as female and operating in society as a female, but I want to be more male-bodied. I want to approach androgyny from the other side of the spectrum; I'd love to be male-assigned transitioning to a more feminine presentation.

So am I FtMtF? I'm not really asking for an answer; I know no one can answer that for me. But as much as it seems to click (not completely, but significantly), it makes me a little sad. I've long thought that I didn't have a gender, that the concept of gender was foreign to me. And it is. I still don't know what traits of mine are masculine or feminine, I'm artsy and science-y and I don't know where that falls.

The reason it makes me sad is that it seems awfully... binary. And I'm very strongly non-binary. Or at least I want to be. But this isn't necessarily all about internal identity; it's largely about how I want my body to be configured. Am I genderless stuck in a body that's overly-gendered? Maybe. Am I really a woman under all this? I hope not.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't know what kind of answers I want. Just wanted to muse a little, I guess, and get this off my chest.

This is how I've always felt. I've always needed a penis. I hated my breasts, feeling like an upside down mermaid. I've always felt the need to transition from males to female. And I walked that path for years. I experienced the ostracism. Feeling like you're never fully safe in the bathroom. What did it matter anymore that I have female genitals? My face, body, voice all read as male. I was trained to speak like a woman again, but it is so much work.  I almost had implants, but I know my body is too wide. When I wear my peecock is when I feel most feminine. I can only feel okay as a female when I'm a transwoman. Some people have said "mtf want to be women". I'm fully aware, I was with one for 4 years. Their gender is female because that's what's right for them. My gender is male to female. The entire thing. My brain's map of my body includes a penis. I plan to have a phalloplasty. Maybe then I'll finally have the courage to get implants.

While my situation is not exactly the same, I can relate to what you're saying. Although I want to masculinize my body, I still like a lot of feminine aspects of presentation. When I wear feminine clothes, jewelry, etc., I feel more like a cis-guy crossdressing than a cis-female. I often feel uncomfortable in society being seen as a woman, but that's because I know people are seeing me as just a cis-woman, not a feminine trans-guy.