OMG! 

I just had a laser face treatment.  She is the kindest most caring person I've ever met.  See apologizes at every step of the machine.  "Pain is temporary" I tell her.

However today she turned the machine up a little.  It hurt like hell.

With my permission to ask questions, she was asking about transitioning and the emotional stuff with the medications.  I could feel myself getting emotional so I focused in on the pain.  That made me laugh, like shaking laughing.

When it was over, I left and went to the car and balled my eyes out. And have been sitting here for about 10 minutes and can't stop crying. There is no pain now, that's very temporary.  I have no idea why I'm uncontrollably crying.

I assume it's the estrogen!

Please tell me this has happened to you.

Certainly the laser thing can really hurt. My beautician said its like someone snapping a rubber band on your face. I did highlight it felt like a big rubber band!

As for the crying, I find that difficult to judge. I've always been emotional. I suspect its more that you've found someone who's interested in you as a person. That can be so therapeutic!

Sent with fondest thoughts

Dena

Apologies for the lousy speling and spaces etc in the previous post. I didn't realise until I pushed the button and haven't worked out how to edit!

Sent with fondest thoughts

Dena

Quote from: denajtuk on March 25, 2017, 01:20:16 PM
Certainly the laser thing can really hurt. My beautician said its like someone snapping a rubber band on your face. I did highlight it felt like a big rubber band!

Can't agree more with this! Absolutely agony, and really disappointing for the first few sessions but now I'm 8 sessions in, I basically don't need to shave (still too many dark round the beard area but definitely feel like the end is in sight!)

(PS - fixed the typos in the quote because I'm neurotic for stuff like that )

Thanks Sophie, so am I!

Sent with fondest thoughts

Dena

Hi Dee,
   I have an explanation that could fit. You are endeavoring to change your life in a major league way. You keep it together, keep it together until, it hits you when you least expect it. The emotion gets triggered by something and it just comes out. It's not logical how it happens. It does make sense that it must come out. Welcome to being a woman. For a long time I had total control of the expression of my emotions. Exit guyhood. It now leaks out at the most inopportune times. I mean "leaks." You aren't going crazy, you are making progress. Enjoy the roller coaster.
Moni

I was shaking-laughing at a barbeque at work yesterday... the song was a Twilight song, and I was complaining how the music was going to depress us all. I drink to that song a lot, so it was too emotional for me to hear.... cause I kept of thinking about a man I once love, and all my depression stuff.

Wow the paralles! I had laser today. 6th and last for my face, there is just no dark hair anymore and the electrolysis to get the whites will get the rest. Didn't hurt at all and the redness was gone by the time I got to to the car. Today was the second full bikini treatment in preparation for my surgery. Also didn't hurt but I suspect it's because there is not the mega concentration of hair there that is on the face. I did cry when she did the bikini, couldn't help myself and couldn't stop. It was like that the first time too. She was so nice about it though and was very patient with me. I don't like the penis being touched never have. I think that I was 21 or 22 the last time a guy touched it, 25 years ago. I bawled my eyes out when I got to my car.

Probably not the same reason you were crying. My guess would be that just talking about it was emotionally overwhelming for you.

I don't tell my story or explain myself, I don't have to everyone knows that is important. When I have talked about myself to a therapist or a boyfriend, I have always had that reaction. Something about saying out loud. Even to my older brother who has always known and accepted that I was gay but didn't understand why I would want to transition. I cried and cried. Cried until he reminded me the last time he held me like that was when my first boyfriend broke my heart, that he still worked for the same gas station in West Verginia as a tow truck driver now, that he weighed three times as much now, is married with a daughter and asked about me every time my brother sees him. Should I give him your number? Is there a rule or law that says that older brothers must be insufferable?

It takes it out of you as much getting beaten up really bad in my experience. Maybe one day it will just cause us to smile.

Hugs

Quote from: Denise on March 25, 2017, 01:14:39 PM
  I have no idea why I'm uncontrollably crying.

I assume it's the estrogen!

Please tell me this has happened to you.

Just let it out dear.  It feels so much better.

It is Spring after all. Let it rain.

Quote from: Jane Emily on March 25, 2017, 04:13:16 PM
Just let it out dear.  It feels so much better.

It is Spring after all. Let it rain.

I did exactly that.  Make up was trashed!

Denise,
I once cried after laser only because I had a bad dysphoria day and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
It just happened. And I let it happen in front of the therapist. She was very compassionate as she knew things about me.
Recently, I've been quite emotional at my sessions when talking about my current things.
I'm 2 months on hormones and I certainly do feel my feelings, but I usually don't associate things directly to them.
Everything is complex.
Take care, Evelyn

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Quote from: Denise on March 25, 2017, 01:14:39 PM
I assume it's the estrogen!

I would think so. And the lack of T if you're on anti androgens. AND the pain and stress.

As a typically sensitive person, I haven't felt remotely emotional since October when I began HRT. It's absolutely the T, in my case. There's a stone wall between me and the emotional response now. It's in there somewhere sometimes but it can't manifest, never reaches the eyes. Doesn't go anywhere, just kind of sits around as a half-sensation in the back of my head. Perhaps it would come out under extreme stress, but so far nothing has come close.

But I remember it wasn't always the case. If the reverse is true for you, then that wall is gone for you. And if you're feeling miserable, anxious, put upon, or just in some situation that is for whatever reason too much, it's going to express itself.

If I want to get any sort of emotions out of my system, I no longer have the emotional outburst as an option. It does not happen. Perhaps it's a good thing to have, and you can learn to use it to feel better.

Quote from: FinallyMichelle on March 25, 2017, 03:55:08 PM
Wow the paralles! I had laser today. 6th and last for my face, there is just no dark hair anymore and the electrolysis to get the whites will get the rest. Didn't hurt at all and the redness was gone by the time I got to to the car. Today was the second full bikini treatment in preparation for my surgery. Also didn't hurt but I suspect it's because there is not the mega concentration of hair there that is on the face. I did cry when she did the bikini, couldn't help myself and couldn't stop. It was like that the first time too. She was so nice about it though and was very patient with me. I don't like the penis being touched never have. I think that I was 21 or 22 the last time a guy touched it, 25 years ago. I bawled my eyes out when I got to my car.

Probably not the same reason you were crying. My guess would be that just talking about it was emotionally overwhelming for you.

I don't tell my story or explain myself, I don't have to everyone knows that is important. When I have talked about myself to a therapist or a boyfriend, I have always had that reaction. Something about saying out loud. Even to my older brother who has always known and accepted that I was gay but didn't understand why I would want to transition. I cried and cried. Cried until he reminded me the last time he held me like that was when my first boyfriend broke my heart, that he still worked for the same gas station in West Verginia as a tow truck driver now, that he weighed three times as much now, is married with a daughter and asked about me every time my brother sees him. Should I give him your number? Is there a rule or law that says that older brothers must be insufferable?

It takes it out of you as much getting beaten up really bad in my experience. Maybe one day it will just cause us to smile.

Hugs

Michelle,

Welcome to the site. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

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With warmth,

Joanna