Just curious here! What do you think about of your transgender mirror opposite? If you are M to F or F to M, what do you think about those who go in the opposite direction as you might. Do you feel a kinship? Do you scratch your head and wonder why they abandon what you so desire? Does it not really matter to you? Do you value their perspective in how you feel about your own situation?  There is certainly a ironic element to the whole thing I guess. I will identify the 'cop out' answer to this question and that is, "I just want everyone to be happy." Way too easy and not an answer to the question! lol
Monica

Before I came here a couple of years ago FtM were a mystery to me and I really hadn't thought about it.  Most of my brain power at that time was engaged in dysphoria anyway.  Since then though I have come to feel a kinship.  From what I have read here I believe that the struggles and emotions are nearly identical, just in reverse.  So I don't wonder at all why they would abandon what I desire.  I feel like I understand it perfectly.  Overall, being trans just sucks no matter which direction you are moving and we all just do the best we can to feel normal and be happy.


Conform and be dull. —James Frank Dobie, The Voice of the Coyote

Such a thought provoking question demands I take the bait. I bite !

Ok, I will say there may have been a time I would have scratched my head at some one born female and transitons to male. I mean, having breasts, softer skin, feminine expressions, female socialization (as a female) and not having a penis is everything I want and there are people who get born into that awesome life. But, to a FtM that is anything but awesome, and it is to them what manhood is to me. A nightmare.  As I got more into my own dysporia i can also relate to the fact being born in the wrong body SUCKS!! and a FtM is very much like myself, just with a different path to go.. Not to mention, I find some transboys really friggin cute hehehhe i know I am bad!

I feel very similarly to Deborah these days.
A while ago, on some level, I knew that MTFs were the opposite side of the same coin but I personally couldn't wrap my head around why anyone would actually want to be female.
At that time, I thought even natal females were bummed about being women and just sort of got stuck in the role due to unfortunate circumstances. That was obviously just me projecting my own insecurities.
It took removing myself from femininity to see the strength and power of women (cis or trans, women are women) beyond my previously narrow scope. 

And, apart from wishing that we could effortlessly swap genitals at the press of a button, I don't really think about anyone else getting rid of a body part I want.

In my line of work I do meet FtM peeps. I highly respect them. In, fact I wish I had a magic wand to switch parts. I can feel in them the same desires, but for different outcomes. When I see a FtM wearing restrictive clothing on the breasts, and wearing male clothing, my first thought is that I get you completely, and I wish we could change parts. So, yes, I feel empathy and a bond with FtM. In fact, I love to be friends with FtM since I know what they are going through, we just seek a different outcome, but for the same reasons. I feel very emotionally close to FtM people. Even if they don't know my status, or not approve, I still feel like they are my brothers/sisters.

A combination of

how could you not want what you have when I want it so badly

of course I understand I feel the same way about my body

I wish there was a way we could swap.

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Quote from: TonyaW on March 25, 2017, 09:37:23 PM
A combination of

how could you not want what you have when I want it so badly

of course I understand I feel the same way about my body

I wish there was a way we could swap.

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I have thought that myself. I wished there was a way we could just transplant each others stuff. But the problem with that is rejection and the immuno suppressant drugs you would have to take which leave you open to infections. But it is a nice thought. You would think that with all the genetic engineering, stem cell research and 3D print technology that they could make us some without having to use our skin or other parts.  Oh well maybe some day.

I think there is a certain sense of irony. I know if there was a body switching service I'd sign up in an instant. But at the same time it feels so foreign to want to be or feel male. So logically I can understand that ftm are my mirror image, but I think there will always be a lack of understanding. I imagine that if I were perfectly content in my assigned gender/sex role it might be easier to empathize and "get" why someone would want to be male. But just as I lack the fullest sense of what's it is to be born female and experience being a cis female I also lack experience of what it's like to be born male and fully be a congruent male.

To Brooke's point, consider seeing the movie with Paul Giamatti, Cold Souls.   It is not his best, not critically acclaimed, but the plot rests on an interesting  and related premise of being able to exchange souls at will. 

I always thought there had to be girls out there who were really boys and of course boys like me who were really girls...I just wanted by some miracle to meet one of these girls and alleviate them of their "womaness" and they can have my "maleness"...not lives just the physical stuff. I see them as my brothers and I hope they see me as their sister...I know the pain of Dysphoria just like they do...dysphoria is dysphoria no matter how you cut it.

You can have mine! if I can have yours...wouldn't that be sweet...... 

Liz

I don't desire what FTMs desire, but really I do. 

The sense that FTMs and MTFs are going in opposite directions is based in the view that we were born in the sex assigned to us at birth and that we want to change it.  From that viewpoint, we are going in opposite directions.  As we all know, that narrative is flawed.  While I have expressed my own struggle in those terms at times, I know it does not truly reflect my reality.  I did experience it like that: "I want to be a woman".  But what was really going on was that my inner femininity was trying to assert itself.  It was always already there.  My femininity was saying, "I want to be," and I (mis)interpreted it as "I want to be a woman."

With 20/20 hindsight, I see that continuous thread of femininity going back as far as I can remember.  Based on conversations here, I believe that this is the common experience of transgender people.  Just switch the word 'femininity' for 'masculinity' (or non-binary) and the experience is the same.

Based on the attributes of each gender, I find femininity appealing and masculinity repulsive.  But then I would, wouldn't I, given who I am inside.  So from that point of view, I could see FTMs as going in the "wrong" direction.  I could, but I don't.  That would be a massive projection, and I have learned not to project my likes and dislikes onto others.

So, leaving the projection aside, the journey of an FTM is exactly the same as mine.  The specifics of situations and responses vary individually, of course, but the struggle to become oneself is identical.  I don't have to like the same things to appreciate that.

I have great admiration for my FTM friends, just as I do for my MTF friends.  We share most of the same concerns and challenges.  The specifics of anatomy, pharmacology and expression are merely diversity.  We are brothers and sisters on the same journey.

My support group divides their weekly sessions into feminine, masculine, all trans, and all+1.  (Enbys can self-identify whichever sessions they want to attend.)  This allows sessions where gender-specific topics can be addressed without boring or alienating the other half, while also having sessions where we can discuss topics of shared interest.  The all+1 sessions allow us to bring an ally, either to provide or to receive support.  I get as much out of the all-trans meetings as I do from the feminine ones.

(BTW, Moni, I like your new avatar.  Very pretty!)

Quote from: KathyLauren on March 26, 2017, 08:55:09 AM

(BTW, Moni, I like your new avatar.  Very pretty!)

Thats what I been telling her!!! Very pretty girl !

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on March 26, 2017, 09:11:08 AM
Thats what I been telling her!!! Very pretty girl !

Ashley, I told you that's my stunt double!! Thank you ladies!
Moni

I can't understand the need or want to be a woman. But I also get that there are more things in the world I don't and will never understand than things I do. Different people are whole different worlds in themselves and trying to understand everything about them is probably futile.

MTF appear to be doing exactly what I am doing in essence, just going for the opposite goal. I don't have any judgement for it. Unfortunately despite there being communities and understanding, everyone is very much alone on the journey as well.