When I tell people I am trans... The first thing they tell me is are you sure you are trans,  then the next question they ask are.  You know some people transition because of their depression... But the idea of me being trans was there ever since I was a kid,  and I always wanted to be female and have a female body.... I hate it when people ask me that because because it messes with my mind.   But deep down.. I know I'm not a man,  and I don't want to be. Can someone help me thru this mind numbing.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

For starters, what they're doing is called "gaslighting."  You being trans is inconvenient and uncomfortable, so they want to change reality -- or rather your perception of reality -- to be the way they'd rather have it.  It's the old "who are you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?"  (Groucho Marx)

I don't think there's anything you can say to change their minds.  To the extent you can, avoid those people, and if you can't, insist on changing the subject if they bring up your transness.  The world is full of people who it's a waste of time to get into a discussion with on particular topics, so it's good practice in refusing to engage in pointless arguments.

If changing the subject doesn't work, there's always flat out refusing to talk about it: "I don't want to discuss it" or "it's none of your business."  If you repeat your chosen phrase enough times, they'll probably get tired of it and go pester someone else.

Well my family's response was YOU WHAT  !!!! as they cant understand wanting to be female after all this time, telling them its something I have wanted for ever just gets the response "well why did you get marred and have kids", they don't get it. My mum is just worried about the response from other folk  I am to old to give a fig but hope I can pass a bit. So middle finger up to them and be your self as its the best feeling ever

Devina  I would guess we are about the same age. The one question I had for 40 years is why I would allow the love of my life to leave me. I had been dressing in my sisters costumes and clothes since I was about seven. It only got worse as I got older until at 25 I took stock of my boy parts and after 5 years of dating got married. But I could not stop dressing up as it made me relax and for a little while I could be me. She found out and we were divorced shortly after. I finally came upon Susans and also found out about DES. Then things started to fall into place. Genital malformation, Late descending testes (Sr. year high school) Heart valve defect, congestive heart failure, high blood pressure, Diabetes, All symptoms of DES exposure in utero. When I explained to my family I explained I may have been affected as I have no proof other than my symptoms and Mother having subsequent miscarriages. My family seems to accept this as a valid explanation and it has allowed me to find peace with myself. I've always been different just didn't know why.

Mikka   With so many hormones in our food supply without regulation it is no wonder we have questions.  No real research is being done because it just may disprove someones religious beliefs that we choose this for ourselves. I am sure some do.  But as I remind everyone, they chose their paths. I have a right to select mine and I am comfortable with starting HRT. The difference in my demeanor is like night and day. I'm not angry all the time. I enjoy doing things again.

I've gotten it all already and I only accepted I was transgender the summer of last year. The idea that it's a weird obsession/fixation with women, with how women think, because of having a bad mother, that I'm a traumatized man, that I look better as a man, that because of the risks I should delete pictures from facebook - my response has ranged from "Some may find the idea that trauma causes LGBT offensive, but that's your opinion" to "Go away". They frame this all  under "advice". Advice you never asked for.  What's fundamentally insulting about it is the assumption you're just rash and foolish. Their lives are so boring when something like this comes along they got nothing better to do than to be a naysayer.

Mikka,

Ugh.  I'm on the verge of coming out at work and am girding my loins for this.  I guess I'll try to appreciate that it's peoples' way of expressing concern that I'm making the right choice, considering the difficulty.  What I really don't want to do is get into the debate about my right to exist.  In a way, it's the same as someone trying to convince you to accept particular religious beliefs, or dietary constraints (vegetarian, vegan, etc...). Even if their motivations are completely good and caring, it's just not their business.  There are no ways to win these kinds of arguments, other than to politely excuse one's self, if possible.  Living your life with joy and enthusiasm is, in the end, the best way to demonstrate that you've made the right choice.  I hope it gets better! 

Erin

About coming out at work.. because of my panic attack at work.  I requested medical assistance.  The medics asked what meds I was on etc.  Well I told the medics and one medic was talking to another medic about the effects of hrt and the pressure from my parents.  At the time.  There was management and a supervisor with me.  I know they probably over heard the medics about me.  Then the medic ask me is it ok to disclose this info... I said yeah.. sure... but only to management.  Does it really count as coming out to work???  Not sure.   But I was honest,  I was not ashamed that I was transitioning.  Would the medics tell management don't know. Sucks that my attack had to happen,  also a good time for them to know i am in the process of transitioning. 

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

Yes, it's one of the standard responses it seems. Even if you'd spent your whole life being consistent like me, you will still get it from someone who thinks you've flipped out.

I don't raise the topic with people unless I have to, impervious to their ideas about it anyway - if it affects your mind to talk to them, I'd suggest steering the conversation away from it. Just because they think they know all about it doesn't mean you have to hang around listening to them.

Quote from: Mikka55 on April 02, 2017, 05:44:33 PM
Would the medics tell management don't know.

Yikes!  It's hard to imagine a scenario whereby they can or ought to tell management which specific medications you're on or details of your condition save for elements that represent a danger to yourself or others, and I don't see your transition as meeting that.  But I'm no lawyer or HIPAA expert (oops, are you in the US?).  In my experience, these kinds of things may be in the realm of Human Resources but not necessarily reportable to management.  This may be peculiar to the aerospace industry though. 

That said, sometimes whatever way people find out may get you closer to good faster. 

Hugs,

Erin

Well the medics were talking and the management team was doing the paperwork.  We are still human... We do over hear things,  I don't want management to get the wrong idea... So.... yeah...

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

Have you been diagnosed with gender dysphoria?  I lead with that and of the close to 100 people I told, zero, no one asked "are you sure". Not even my highly conservative 85 year old parents.

It also demonstrates that it's not a choice at the same time.

Sent from my LG-H820 using Tapatalk