An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm
count.  The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the man appeared at the doctor's office and gave him
the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well Doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, and still nothing.

I then asked my wife for help. She tried with her right and then
her left hand, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth
in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.

We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too
with both her hands, then an armpit. She even tried squeezin' it between her knees,
but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The man replied, "Yep, and none of us could get the damned jar
open."

(and all you people with the dirty minds groaned at the punch line, didn't you? LOL   >)

That's a good one Valerie!

It reminds of the 80yr old pharmacist I used to work with (except that he did have a dirty mind) One day a customer came up to him and asked him if we sold Viagra, and he said that we did.  Then the customer asked if he could get it over-the-counter. The pharmacist grinned and said, "If I take two I can!" 

Oh Angelsgirl, that is cute, but I would NOT have wanted to be his customer !!  LOL...

That was a really jarring punchline, Valerie!   >

I think this thread has "opened" a can of worms.  Maybe we should put a "lid" on these kind of jokes.

Melissa