I always tend to read the opinions of people who hold ideals opposite of mine, be it political, religious, and especially now gender.  It always ruins my mood, and consumes precious hours out of the day.  It is like I am a glutton for punishment.  I do it, because I have anxiety issues and want to know what people are thinking behind the veil of civil behavior.  I've always thought it important to know these things, but now they just get in the way.

And oh my, how it leaves nasty marks on my psyche.  There are times, I would just like to abandon all of humanity, live out in a cabin in the woods and never see another face again!  It leaves me depressed, and even more anxious, yet like a moth to the flame I always end up flying face first into a lot of hurt.

To that end, I've finally decided to start to get a few addons for chrome to block sites, and youtube channels.  I feel I am betraying myself doing so, shutting off a lot of the world out there, feeding a delusion of sorts - but the alternative is to live a life of depression and fear. 

People genuinely frighten me, they always have.  The Internet is a place where the monsters come crawling from under your bed, to snatch you by the leg and draw you into the abyss!  And being transsexual, there is a lot of hate that I read online.  I would grow a thicker skin, but truth be told I am quite the sensitive person who has always had a hard time with hateful people.

I swear, there have been many nights where I lay staring at the ceiling, living in a state of anxiety, sweating, breathing horribly and remaining inbetween being awake and in a nightmare. 

I love this forum, but it is not like I have a lot to contribute here, outside of posting a question now and then, advice is not my strong suit and I often feel like more of a burden than anything.  What I do have is my heart though, and with that said I would like to give all of you a virtual hug

(((((hug)))))

If any of you feel the same way I do, have that same anxiety I do, let it be known to you that you are not alone. 

There are people out there on the internet with an axe to grind. Dont put your head on the chopping block.

I have been there too, and all it did was sometimes make me feel so bad i would feel ill and be bed ridden for a bit. Especailly reading W.H... I am not going to use their full name as i dont want you to look up things you shouldnt . Yes there is hate, but these peopl have issues and dont make their issues your issues!

Hugs-Ashley!

Don't get caught up in the comment sections of life today.
Make. Do. Create. Go for a walk. Make a to do list.  Let other folks tussle it out.

Also, you don't have to give advice.  Just welcome new members. It really means a lot to them.  I know it really meant a lot to me when I first got here.

Nothing good comes of immersing yourself in it. Be aware of the general public feeling for your own safety, but taking a bath in vitriol was never good for anyone.

I don't read comments to LGBT articles anymore. It'll drive you nuts.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I don't believe in insulating oneself from the world but watching too much can be self torturous. Don't forget there are some truly wonderful people out there.
Moni

The funny thing about the people posting the hateful things on the web is were I to meet them one on one, they would be the one  backing down. It's easy to shoot off your mouth when you are hiding behind a monitor but in real life they tend to be pretty cowardly. It takes a good deal of courage to transition and I think almost anybody who has come out has far more courage that the people making the hateful comments.

The interesting thing is that some of those very "passionate" a$$hole$ spouting hatred are the ones on the street smiling as you walk by.  People love to use the internet as a shield and to stir up emotions for no good reason.

I'm also guilty of getting sucked-in and it ruining my day....I'm learning to turn a blind eye.  Those people can't be "educated", it's a waste of time and energy.

Edit:  looks like Dena beat me to it....similar thought.

I found an article from Jane Brody in the New York Times today, for which I posted a link in the news section:  https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,221957.0.html
Turning Negative Thinkers Into Positive Ones (Jane Brody, NY Times)

It contains some tips that may be helpful in breaking out of negative thinking.
Love, Randy

You could post a comment on saving a kitten and certain people would hate on it.
Trolling is something that effects the whole of the internet, not just transgendered people. The worst thing any of us can do is think of ourselves as victims because that's exactly what these people feed off. To make someone feel bad so they can feel better about themselves and the problems they are unable to face up to in life.
I suspect many of the trans haters are trans themselves but are unable to accept it.

History lesson here for younger people out there.

There used to be a thing called usenet in the 90's that was incredibly popular and consisted of nothing but unmoderated message boards in an email like format. People got tired of the trolling on that and built moderated web based message boards like this one.

Younger generation, not knowing of this problem, flocks to relatively unmoderated message boards like places on tumblr and ->-bleeped-<-, and reads the unmoderated comments on various news sites...

The internet is a bubble that you create and live inside your head. There are a certain type of people who get kicks out of trolling Trans sites and Meme's looking for someone to have a go at....or so they try and say.

Forget the internet it is not reality. To sit and write something is simple do and press send...to say the same thing to someone's face is way, way, harder and they don't do it for fear of ridicule from the rest of the public in public spaces. I do not usually pass very well and I really don't care that much at the moment. People are still polite to me and I don't get publicly ridiculed. I am still treated as a woman by most despite my fears.

Liz

It's really sad that some people have nothing better to do than be internet trolls.

Reflecting on what I posted last night, it upsets me a bit that I did seek out a place like this when I first got online in the late 90's on usenet and on the web and listened to the trolls on the newsgroups and message boards I had found. Between that and finding out how much SRS costed, it caused me to bury my feelings and stop looking for somewhere like this for 15 years or so.

It does also remind me though, how much I did think about this as a young adult...

I always wonder how many keyboard commandos secretly wish they were wearing high heels & stockings.

Quote from: big kim on April 05, 2017, 08:59:36 AM
I always wonder how many keyboard commandos secretly wish they were wearing high heels & stockings.

A lot.

I think it is more than people in the closet lashing out at others, I think there is just a lot of hate out there and people are attracted in participating in it.  For whatever reason, they want to be angry at the world, and join in at every opportunity there is to put their hate out there.

With that said, I've completely black listed yahoo now.  As far as I am concerned, it is the site of bigotry. It is the heart of hatred on the web - sure there are worst sites out there, but yahoo was once my favorite search engine in a time far far away.  The site that shall remain nameless is gone now too.  Youtube channels that dwell within the realm of conspiracy, the alt right, anti SJW all gone now.  I don't want to know what these people think anymore, or why they think it, they are clearly attracted to that mindset if for no other reason than it appeals to them on a primal level.

I agree with StaciM, I've tried talking to these people - but no, they just want to hurt others.  They think everyone is out to get them, there is some sort of agenda, they are even more paranoid of others than I am it seems. 

I remember the usenet back in the 90s, but back then I only used it for technology related things.  The internet today is a different beast, we now have social media where people can join together in their hatred of all things.. it is not just ts issues, it is a lot of things and I'm tired of seeing it everywhere.  It is like humanity is turning into this gigantic monster.  Back in the 90s I remember IRC, even a TS channel I would frequent.. I don't remember all of the hate though.

Even facebook, people I used to know and like have turned into complete jerks.  I will see a post here or there, making fun of refugees, TS, the poor.. of course they will later post things that are completely opposite. 

So, I've decided to black list most of them.  My life has been getting better since then, today I sat outside, closed my eyes, listened to the birds chirp and the felt the warm air blow across my skin and felt at peace.  They want that hatred, they can have it, and I hope it consume them all to hell.

I'd rather love rule my life, than bare witness to any of that.  (Okay, the irony from the previous paragraph does not escape me)

Thank you all for replying.

Completely agree with most of the things written here. The Internet allows those who hate the most to express it behind a veil of anonymity, but I don't think we need to be affected by it as long as it is a minor group of people (at least in Spain) and it's not our responsibility to educate strangers.
I've always thought that (not in all cases) the best way to fight haters is just by ignoring them, they'll get tired some day.

EDIT: relating hate in the web, I found this interesting (https://www.ted.com/talks/megan_phelps_roper_i_grew_up_in_the_westboro_baptist_church_here_s_why_i_left?language=en).

The hate i think is transphobia from either the really stupid or the entrenched n the closet crowd (no offence to those in the closet who are good people/not jerks). Case in point, Charles Kane lived as a woman from 1997-2004, detransitioned and became a transphobic piece of work. In 2017? Charles became Samantha again... classic case of deflecting their feelings and putting their self hatred on others in the process. I have noticed that those who de-transition dont last too long in their brith gender/ect.. Maybe a few weeks, a few months or even a few years. However, at some point they either go back to a full transition or go non-binary. Plus, many of those ''ex-trans''  people are like those ''ex-gay'' people. They cliam to live a life for their god and preach about how awful we are and then in time break and live as they did before their conversion. Makes me wonder when Walt Heyer will come back out as Laura again lol...

I don't insulate myself but i also don't read comments and such that often. When i do though, i usually see that the most popular comments (Facebook likes for example) are the ones that are supportive of us. That is a positive thing in general.

Trolls hide behind the net and for some reason feel a rush of brain chemicals for making people feel bad. Usually they are not very brave one one one. Even those that are not trolls per se but want to throw their version of religion at us and tell us we are bad, I believe you would find contradict their own faith system constantly. So can and should we really let these things bother us? Sometimes its hard not to i admit.

Well the good thing is you can not visit sites filled with hate, not read the comments, and turn off the internet.

I'm wary of this idea we need to control what is being said in every place and every space to preserve our feelings, when you can just switch it off and go outside. I see people on Facebook unfriending each other over differences in politics or ideology, getting worked up and trying to block out everything they don't like. I'm not sure that's healthy either. The more "safe" some people make themselves it seems, the more they increasingly appear unable to accept different points of view, and begin to think of opinions as oppressing them and become more and more in favor of censorship.

Putting things into perspective is always good.