Hello Everyone, long time reader first time poster.
A few days ago I came out publicly on Facebook to my extended friends and family. It was terrifying, lol. But I received so much love and support it was overwhelming. Even people that I thought I would never hear from again made a special effort to message me privately, congratulate me for my bravery, and generally take an interest in the process I was going through.
It turns out that I had been underestimating the people in my life and not giving them the credit they deserve.
One of my oldest friends, whom I've known for over 20 years, even went as far as to say "I hope you feel a bit silly for waiting so long to be yourself, your friends would have always accepted you for who you are".
I had previously told my close family in person, my farther had struggled to understand. After I posted I got a message from him saying "I take it all back, you look gorgeous, I love you my son!". Well, not perfect, but definitely points for moving forward
It was a very emotional day, but one that I will now cherish very deeply for ever. I know not everyone will be as lucky as me in their experiences, but I wanted share this to help let people know that it doesn't have to be bad!
I have reproduced the message I used for my post below, it's a bit lengthy. I hope that it my help or inspire someone else that is struggling to take the next step as I did.
QuoteSo today is a big day for me. Today I'm sharing with the world a realisation that changed my life about 6 months ago.
I am transgender.
That is a pretty loaded word these days, so to clarify; even though I was born male, I have never fit in as a male. What seems to come to other men so easily has always been a struggle for me. All the while having to suppress the more feminine traits that do come naturally to me. This has caused many problems in my life, escalating more and more as I got older. The simple truth is that I am unhappy living as a man. In my mind, my heart and my soul I feel that I am female.
From a biological perspectives, this means during the early stages of my development in the womb, my body was flushed with enough testosterone to develop male body features but not enough to develop a male brain. So even though my chromosomes are XY, the chemistry in my brain is actually closer to that of someone who is traditional XX. I'm under no delusion that I'm biologically female, I'm not, and I never will be. But as a result of my biology, I fit closer to the mould of a female in our society than that of a male.
As such, I'm am making changes in my life so that I can move through the world and interact with it as a woman. Within the next three to six months, I'm planning to start living my life full time as a woman. I will be legally changing my gender to female and I will be changing my name to Edina.
It should go without saying that I do not make these changes lightly. I know that this is a very hard thing for many people to understand and accept. While I finally realised and accepted this part of myself about 6 months ago, it took me 35 years to understand it enough to make that realisation. I do not expect anyone to jump through hoops to accomadate me, or for people to change long held opinions overnight. For some of you, this may be too much to handle, it is likely that I will loose some people from my life because of this change. While this saddens me, I want you to know I bare you no ill will, and if you ever have a change of heart, you will always be welcome back in to my life.
This transition is very much still a work in progress, so if/when you see me over the next few months, you might see Edward, or you might see Edina. I want to try and make this as easy for everyone as possible, I'm not expecting anyone to start calling me she or her if I'm still walking around looking like the same Ed you have always known. Hopefully these terms will come naturally as Edina becomes the new norm.
As I hope most of you know, I'm pretty easy going and open minded. You'd be hard pressed to say or do anything that would offend me. So if you have questions, doubts or concerns, please do not hesitate to ask. The experience that I'm going through only happens to very few people and I'm more than happy to share the things I'm learning on this strange journey that I've found myself on.
I know that there is a long road ahead of me, with challenges and difficulties that I haven't even imagined as yet. I know that I will need the love and support of my friends and family to get through this. But there is also joy and excitement ahead. Most of all there is hope. Since coming to this realisation and beginning my transition I've been the happiest I can remember.
Thank you to everyone reading this for being part of my life so far, each and everyone of you has had a part in shaping the person that I am today. A person that I'm very proud to be. I sincerely hope that you will continue to be part of my life going forward and continue to shape the person that I will become.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind" - Dr Seuss
Love you all, xoxo
