Hi everyone. I am a returning member that has been gone for some time, not just from this support group but from the entire trans community at large. Have been living stealth for a very long time, but find that I really do need my sisters and brothers more than ever. I have a unique life, not just as a transsexual woman but as a human being. I will not go into detail over this but if you would like to know more, you may PM me. I am a legally blind transsexual woman that is also a cancer survivor and have been living full time as a woman for over ten years now, been on HRT for the same amount of time. Have not had any of the surgeries yet but hopefully if my insurance will be nice about things I will have SRS in three years or longer, I am hoping sooner. Most of my life I have been a homemaker, yes you heard right, a homemaker, this is what the federal government labels a blind person if they are unable to find work or is let go too many times because the employer finds you too risky for the company. I have heard it all from employers. I live on a fixed income now, luckily my insurance covers my HRT and doctor visits.
I was diagnosed ten years ago with severe GID by a gender therapist and she informed me that I was born with this condition, like so many of us have been. There is one thing that really has me questioning things though and I have asked many doctors in the past about this. When I started puberty I also started to have menstrual cycles just like a a genetic girl would. I had these every month up until my later 40's, just about when I started my transition. Some doctors I have talked with have informed me that I probably was born intersex, having female internal organs and male genitalia. Their is no medical proof though. All I know is that I have always identified as being female from a very early age. The only family member that really knew I was a girl and not just a trans girl, was my grandmother, she knew I was a girl and she taught me how to behave and live as a girl and young lady. Maybe that is why I never really considered myself to be a transsexual woman, who knows, the fact is though that I am me, a woman.
I did get married once to a woman who also knew that I was female from the beginning but she just ignored it and so I had to pretend to be a male, just like I had to pretend to be a boy growing up, the only time I could really be the girl I was, was when I stayed with my grandmother during the summer. So, I was married for 20 years and we did have a child together, the marriage became abusive, however and we ended our marriage a few years before I started my transition. Since then I have not dated anyone, I am bi. I would love to date a man or woman but no one has any interest in me and I do try to date, I converse with them, flirt, the whole enchilada, no one has asked me out.
I am happy being the woman I have always been and will remain so the rest of my life. There are many areas of transitioning I still need to learn and I hope that being here, I will learn some of the those areas that still need to be improved upon. Would love to make new lifetime friendships as well. Thank you for reading my introduction.
