Hey ladies, I had a question. Is a person still transgender if he or she didn't feel they were of the opposite gender when they were young,and had a very happy childhood, but recently have started to get a strong feeling of being the opposite gender?

Saira, what you describe is actually more common than people who have always known since they were little kids.  Both scenarios happen, and it does not mean that you are not transgender.

Quote from: KathyLauren on April 12, 2017, 07:40:35 AM
Saira, what you describe is actually more common than people who have always known since they were little kids.  Both scenarios happen, and it does not mean that you are not transgender.

When did you start feeling you wanted to be the opposite gender?

Kathy is right. Some people know at like age 2, others like myself would just wish, and other havent  a clue until much later. From everything i can chalk up I got news for you.... YOU ARE TRANS!!!!


See, i may have used to wish to be a female without full well knowing I should have been as a kid. Yet, as I live full time I discover new feelings i havent felt in either forever, or ever. I do beleive you are trans

For me, when i started haveing these feelings come more was at age 13 2007. Or, that is when they became much larger then just fantasy

When I was a child, I didn't know I could say I am female.  I asked for things like being able to have long hair, earrings, and nail polish.  My family was very opposed to it and basically prevented me from exploring myself at all.  Once I was a pre-teen it became more clear and I started praying to god for there to be a way to change from male to female.  I had not heard of being able to transition until I was in my 20's, and most people I talked to about it tried to stop me.  I'm now in my 30's and finally transitioning.

My point is, just because you don't remember or didn't have clarity as a child about your gender does not mean there weren't signs.  You may want to think back to childhood and figure out if you were asking for help and it was not being given to you.  It helps with feeling validated.

Quote from: Alex M on April 12, 2017, 08:58:35 AM
When I was a child, I didn't know I could say I am female.  I asked for things like being able to have long hair, earrings, and nail polish.  My family was very opposed to it and basically prevented me from exploring myself at all.  Once I was a pre-teen it became more clear and I started praying to god for there to be a way to change from male to female.  I had not heard of being able to transition until I was in my 20's, and most people I talked to about it tried to stop me.  I'm now in my 30's and finally transitioning.

My point is, just because you don't remember or didn't have clarity as a child about your gender does not mean there weren't signs.  You may want to think back to childhood and figure out if you were asking for help and it was not being given to you.  It helps with feeling validated.

When I was a child, I didn't want long hair like girls, or wanted to paint my nails. I have confused memories of wanting to dress up in my sister's clothes, but I don't know if they are real memories, or just something that my mind made up. I used to play with with just my sister and her girl friends. Didn't like any male games.
     Right now, I feel I want to become a woman, I wish I was born a woman. But I don't know if it is just a sexual thing or I am really trans. When I imagine myself as a woman, I don't feel comfortable, because I am worried that I won't pass. But I am uncomfortable with living as a male too.
      What do you think? Am I trans enough?

I didn't "know" until I was 52. You are not unusual in how you feel. I would suggest seeing if you can find a gender therapist to help sort out how you feel. For me, it didn't take long to set me on my course, but your mileage may vary.

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 12, 2017, 08:40:28 AM
Kathy is right. Some people know at like age 2, others like myself would just wish, and other havent  a clue until much later. From everything i can chalk up I got news for you.... YOU ARE TRANS!!!!


See, i may have used to wish to be a female without full well knowing I should have been as a kid. Yet, as I live full time I discover new feelings i havent felt in either forever, or ever. I do beleive you are trans

For me, when i started haveing these feelings come more was at age 13 2007. Or, that is when they became much larger then just fantasy

Its so nice that you knew at 13. I don't know, I am so confused right now. I am uncomfortable with how I look right now, as a male, but don't know if I would feel more comfortable and less depressed as a woman. I am really depressed as a male.
       I had a crossdressing phase when I was 13-16 yrs old, I grew in size after that, I couldn't fit in my sis's clothes anymore. That stopped my crossdressing, also, I began to feel so guilty, dirty even, I was disgusted with myself.
      I want something or someone to tell me for sure I am trans, and only then will I feel better.
     I don't know what to do to feel better about it. I'm trying to stay positive.
    Did starting hrt reduce your depression? Maybe, that will be an indicator for me.

Quote from: Yuusui on April 12, 2017, 09:09:33 AM
I didn't "know" until I was 52. You are not unusual in how you feel. I would suggest seeing if you can find a gender therapist to help sort out how you feel. For me, it didn't take long to set me on my course, but your mileage may vary.

Thank you Yuusui. So you never felt anything till you became 52, or did you just repress the urge to be a woman?

Saira,

You definitely are trans.  Your experiences as a younger person definitely qualify as part of your journey.  Even if you didn't have those stories, you are still definitely trans.  I've heard people ask "Am I trans enough?" and I think if that's an actual question you have the answer is automatically "Yes".

QuoteI have confused memories of wanting to dress up in my sister's clothes, but I don't know if they are real memories, or just something that my mind made up. I used to play with with just my sister and her girl friends. Didn't like any male games.

When I was a kid, I also wanted to wear things my sisters wore.  However, I had no interest in dolls etc..  While I tried on my sister's tights when I was about 11 or so, I didn't start thinking about being a woman until late teens.  I also had a cross dressing period.

Quote from: Alex M on April 12, 2017, 09:17:25 AM
Saira,

You definitely are trans.  Your experiences as a younger person definitely qualify as part of your journey.  Even if you didn't have those stories, you are still definitely trans.  I've heard people ask "Am I trans enough?" and I think if that's an actual question you have the answer is automatically "Yes".

So the very fact that I'm questioning my gender is enough to establish that I'm somewhere on the trans spectrum?

Quote from: AnneK on April 12, 2017, 09:25:07 AM
When I was a kid, I also wanted to wear things my sisters wore.  However, I had no interest in dolls etc..  While I tried on my sister's tights when I was about 11 or so, I didn't start thinking about being a woman until late teens.  I also had a cross dressing period.

Thanks, it makes me feel I'm not alone.

I never knew I was female as a child. I only discovered this when I 19 years old.

But as a child, i was more drawn to female things and had mostly female friends, If we played house I wanted to be the mommy. I did wonder what it would be like to wear that pretty dress and as I got older, I did feel a little jealousy how the girls bodies were developing and all the nice stuff they got to wear. That properly why I love to wear dresses today. I really wanted my ears pierced, but that was given a firm NO. As a teenage, I experienced with some light cross dressing, I was 19 the first time I dressed fully as a woman and that experience was like I found what I was missing all my life, as felt so comfortable and I contempt. From then I regularly dressed and got my ears pierced soon afterward.. and the rest was history.

Quote from: noleen111 on April 12, 2017, 09:37:01 AM
I never knew I was female as a child. I only discovered this when I 19 years old.

But as a child, i was more drawn to female things and had mostly female friends, If we played house I wanted to be the mommy. I did wonder what it would be like to wear that pretty dress and as I got older, I did feel a little jealousy how the girls bodies were developing and all the nice stuff they got to wear. That properly why I love to wear dresses today. I really wanted my ears pierced, but that was given a firm NO. As a teenage, I experienced with some light cross dressing, I was 19 the first time I dressed fully as a woman and that experience was like I found what I was missing all my life, as felt so comfortable and I contempt. From then I regularly dressed and got my ears pierced soon afterward.. and the rest was history.

I have always wanted to get my ears pierced. As a child, I used to play with the doll house my sister's friend had. We used to spend hours with it.
    Now, to crossdress, I'll have to buy clothes my size, and I'm too ashamed to do that.

QuoteI have always wanted to get my ears pierced.

I did almost 25 years ago, back when I was into full cross dressing.  There are lots of places that do it, so just go get it done!

QuoteNow, to crossdress, I'll have to buy clothes my size, and I'm too ashamed to do that.

Nothing to be ashamed of.  You're just another shopper and most stores will be happy to have you.  I used to be worried about what people would think about me buying women's item, but I just decided to stop pretending and it never became a problem.  In fact, I found the clerks tended to be very helpful and were better able to help with my selections.  There was one store where 3 older women worked and they couldn't do enough to help me.  I also buy my bras from a store where anyone who wants to work there has to be comfortable fitting men, trans women etc..  So it's no big deal.  Also, if money is tight, you might want to try stores that sell used clothing.

As a (guessing here) 8-9 year old I was quite aware something was terribly wrong, I had no idea what it was but very wrong. That was in the late 50's, by my early teens in the early 60's there was no explanation, no one to ask and no place to go looking for answers but the wrong by now was huge. By the late 60's and I had started sleeping with girls (because that's what guys do) the confusion was profound because I didn't want to make love to her. . . I wanted to be her. By the early 70's I thought maybe I was gay and slept with a couple of different guys, enough to teach me that wasn't my problem, not gay. Didn't mind being with them but the level of depression over no ability to do with them what I mentally and physically craved doing is hard to describe. Not long after this Christine Jorgenson came out with her book and the shock, the revelation was incredible. All I could think for months after that was it's not just me, there are others just like me. Even up to the late 80's and early 90's getting any kind of help was really hard to do. I found a counselor in L.A. and called to make an appointment, he pre-screened his potential clients on the phone with a series of questions. He asked  how long I had been dressing full time as a woman. Say what? I don't. His answer was depressing to say the least, he said then you don't really want to be female do you? There was no appointment and no help.

The point of all this is how fortunate young people are today. The availability of information, the level of skilled professionals in the last 20 years has turned around dramatically. I'm nearly 69 now and spent a big part of my life with nowhere to turn, no information and no help, mostly alone, depressed and hopeless, a wasted life. Doesn't matter I don't think when you begin to realize the problem, the help is now there. Get a qualified counselor and do what is right for you. Don't be me.

Quote from: Saira128 on April 12, 2017, 09:13:10 AM
Thank you Yuusui. So you never felt anything till you became 52, or did you just repress the urge to be a woman?

It's hard to say. I was a closeted crossdresser since I was in the 7th grade. I also had deep feelings of guilt. Back then, there wasn't the internet to help connect with others that feel the same. Over the last few years I was cross dressing more and more and started to realize that there was something fundamentally not right with how I was living. Once I came to the realization that I was trans, my life has become so amazingly happy and positive.

Yeah, it's a spectrum, and "enough" never matters. We are what we are.

I'm unsure myself, but am embracing "whatever it is that I am" and doing what's comfortable.

Randy

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk

Quote from: Alex M on April 12, 2017, 08:58:35 AM
When I was a child, I didn't know I could say I am female.  I asked for things like being able to have long hair, earrings, and nail polish.  My family was very opposed to it and basically prevented me from exploring myself at all.  Once I was a pre-teen it became more clear and I started praying to god for there to be a way to change from male to female.  I had not heard of being able to transition until I was in my 20's, and most people I talked to about it tried to stop me.  I'm now in my 30's and finally transitioning.

My point is, just because you don't remember or didn't have clarity as a child about your gender does not mean there weren't signs.  You may want to think back to childhood and figure out if you were asking for help and it was not being given to you.  It helps with feeling validated.

I absolutely agree. I can definitely say my dysphoria slowly "started" when I was 20 and has been increasing until it became a constant struggle the past few years (I'm 28 now). But now that I am aware of it, I look back at my life and I've remembered so many signs as a teenager and as a kid that I know this was always inside.