I didn't recognize that I wanted to transition until I was 30 or so. I remember having a friend that was a 6'0 tall goth girl and asked her to dress me up for Halloween when I was 20. I loved it, but it still didn't register at the time. I think a lot of it had to do with my assumption that trans girls were all gay men that wanted to be straight women, and I wasn't attracted to men.

A lot of this is hard to sort out in a transphobic culture setting.  In an ideal world if we said we wanted to explore our feminine side/gender identity at any age the people around us would just smile and say, "Have at it! Whatever you need to become a more fully realized human being we support you 100%."

In a culture where MTF transgression against a rigid gender binary is seen as a sin, or worse yet, demonic possession, or a form of mental illness;  where any gender nonconformity is watched out for like a hawk and often violently confronted, where it's an existential challenge to the prevailing, patriarchal, social order and seen as the ultimate taboo?  Different story. 

I didn't know I was female as a child, but remember that I always felt different from the boys. When my mom was having another child I wished dearly to have a sister. I always hung around the girls. When I was around 10 years old and later I started having regular dreams of being female, but never thought anything of it that I was different. It didn't occur to me until I was about 15 that I really wanted to be a girl, and at 19 that I tried to do something about it the first time. It wasn't until I was 25 that I actually transitioned. Before that point I went through a super masculine phase of trying to hide my femininity.

Just cause we may have had a decent childhood or didn't realize we were female as a child or even older doesn't not make us a woman. We are whoever we are in our hearts. Let that be your compass, your heart knows.

Sara, there were signs as early as I can think back but I didn't realize I was trans until I was 40.

Quote from: Saira128 on April 12, 2017, 08:14:10 AM
When did you start feeling you wanted to be the opposite gender?

I have always known that I didn't fit in, but when I was young, I didn't associate it with gender.  (In hindsight, it is obvious.)  I probably started to associate it with gender when I was in my mid 30s.  Even then, while I considered the possibility that I might be transsexual (the word 'transgender' didn't exist back then), I always rejected the idea as being too freaky.

I knew that I should be female when I was 12. Earlier, I was more or less androgynous. By age 16, I was seriously questioning my gender. At 17, I volunteered for military service during the Viet Nam War, actually hoping to get killed in some way so that I would not have to deal with my gender issues.

I rarely cross dressed then and today, I usually wear shorts and a t-shirt. I still wear very little make-up. As a female, I am probably a little tom-boyish. But I feel wonderful, now that I have fully transitioned.

We are all different and if or when we transition, it is a very personal decision. Nobody can make that decision for us. If you can deal with your gender issues without transitioning, then bless you. You do not have to go through the mental and physical pain of transitioning.

For many of us, the real question is "transition or remain in an unthinkable situation".

Just because you didn't question it when young doesn't mean your not transgender. Fact is your questioning your gender later in life would still make you trans. Not everyone is young when they question their gender. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Saira128 on April 12, 2017, 07:36:19 AM
Hey ladies, I had a question. Is a person still transgender if he or she didn't feel they were of the opposite gender when they were young,and had a very happy childhood, but recently have started to get a strong feeling of being the opposite gender?

I was in in 7th grade when I crossdressed for the 1st time, but I didn't really wish I was a girl until 18-20.  I squashed it, trying to be a "good" man until I was 45.   So yeah, it's possible!

From all appearances each person has differing paths and experiences that take us to the transgender destination. Like all snowflakes and fingerprints we are still recognizable as what we are. Variant but with enough commonality to define and group us.

I personally had no idea. Maybe if I would have known anything about it growing up it would have been different. That I was not like other boys the adults around me made abundantly clear but I didn't know what it ment. There were lots of indicators, some of them huge, but no way to connect them. If you have never seen a butterfly how can you know if you are looking at one. I can take my story from others in this topic, just copy sentences into a paragraph and you have my life. But it isn't though is It? I would hope that everyone here wasn't molested from 8-12 and told by a hillbilly hedge doctor at the age of 14 that the need to be feminine stemmed from that. So yeah, we are all different.

I saw a 2 hour video in school over 30 years ago. A - don't let this happen to you - documentary about prison life. I don't remember a thing about it but one maybe 5 minute segment. That .003 % of all male inmates leave prison as a girl. There is no way to describe how I felt. For 2 weeks or more I barely ate and didn't speak at all. I didn't do homework or respond in class so I got detention. I didn't go to baseball practice so I got suspended from the team. The threat of going back to the head doctor finally pulled me out of it. I ached, is the only way that I could describe it. When I was back to normal... ish, I discreetly starting asking people about what they thought of that part of the movie. No one even remembered. When I reminded them of what I knew verbatim they were like: Oh yeah, weird huh? Or, Guess they have <not permitted> in prison too. They letting you back on the team?

How could I not know then? All of the things that should have had me screaming that I was a girl inside and I didn't see it until I turned 40. And if I didn't know, is it really hard to imagine that other people might not?

Do you have to define you now? And if so are we the people who should be defining you? We can tell you where we came from and all that will tell you is that we all have similar yet different tales. If I could offer any suggestion it would be to find a therapist to talk to. One who is not going to push either trans or not trans on you, but is just trying to help you through the question with YOUR best interest in mind, not a predetermined destination.

Hugs,
Michelle

Thank you for helping me, all you beautiful people.

There's so much kindness on this forum.