Depression that is induced by gender dysphoria sucks. But, performing/recording some Noise is a good cure for it. I just wish that it wasn't a temporary fix.

Oh don't go asking me that.  Telling my daughter.

Looking at my e-mails from the 2 clinics I have emailed recently... I go from a strange mindset of being somewhat enthusiastic about the possibility of starting to transition then realise my current living/financial situation isn't the best to even be considering it then back to thinking that it's maybe best to try and ignore these feelings and hope they go away? They never do tho, they come back stronger....

Unfortunately in every day life it's hard to ignore, you'll be walking down the street and you'll see women and it will I guess trigger some dysphoria in me and bring me back to square 1.

I don't know why I made this so long ago, but finding it again was hilarious!

I don't know either, I started this topic a few years ago as a view into other people's thoughts and maybe learn a bit

Quote from: V M on March 22, 2017, 02:30:44 AM
I don't know either, I started this topic a few years ago as a view into other people's thoughts and maybe learn a bit

I love this topic, I was referring to a song I wrote! But yes, it's a really good topic to have in case you want to vent, or even just share your thoughts.

Quote from: maksim on March 22, 2017, 11:13:23 AM
I love this topic, I was referring to a song I wrote! But yes, it's a really good topic to have in case you want to vent, or even just share your thoughts.

Right on    I have written a few songs also and yeah, sometimes I go back and look at some of them and just laugh myself silly LOL

Quote from: Valkria01 on March 13, 2017, 12:10:06 AM
I'm thinking about my direct deposit
aaaany time now.

Literally refreshing my bank account as we speak waiting for mine... 

too many things, too many things...
-praying someone will buy my car so i can get back at least some of the money i had to spend on a new one
-being mad that the apartments i was going to look into told me they had no available units despite still having a sign up
-being disappointed that the moment i finally hit my saving goal, i had to spend about four months' worth of it
-constantly cycling between feeling hopeful and feeling utterly hopeless because all my plans end up going wrong due to factors outside of my control
-wondering if my dad knows anyone who might want to buy my car, but feeling sort of bad about asking
-dreading the fact that it's my mom's birthday and thus i feel obligated to talk to her; i told her happy birthday through text, but i don't know if that's enough...
-not wanting to go to work
-not knowing what to take to work for lunch and wishing i had my own food, knowing i'll have to go to work if i want a chance to get out and buy groceries that don't send me to the john half the day...
-wishing my friend would come over for a visit already, but thinking it probably won't happen just like it didn't last week or any of the months before that
-regretting eating that bag of m&ms...

Came out to a coworker who is on maternity leave, and it's now more than 24 hours with no reply from her (and I know she read it—this is whatsapp). She's from retro Moldova, but she seems to be quite open and I don't think I made the wrong decision...

I think I'll wait a couple of days and talk to her about any other thing, then add a small paragraph within parentheses telling her I know it takes time and she doesn't have to say anything right now.

I want real ramen!

Stuff

I am an empty vessel.

What if people who were figuratively "Trippin' Lizards" were actually going about and physically trippin' lizards? 

What's a good breakfast wine?

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Cases cases cases... Sentence structure... Verb conjugation... Vocabulary!

Quote from: TonyaW on April 14, 2017, 06:41:08 AM
What's a good breakfast wine?

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

A red or a white.   .

Everything OK?

Hugs, Devlyn

I wish I wasn't so depressed all the time, today is just meh...

I just took my first estradiol tablet a few hours ago, where the hell are my tits?

Lots of things, keep putting off emailing back a clinic I emailed in London because I don't want to start transition until I move out (23, it's about time)

Ordered some clothes to see what size I am in female clothing and it surprisingly pretty much fit although I don't have much of a female shape in terms of weight distribution so it made me sad so quickly threw them out in before the rubbish collection so they're gone.

My height being 6ft is always on my mind too, I tend to Google / save pictures of female celebrities who are 6ft and look great to remind myself that it's possible but eh, I am just a regular person.

Just lots of sad thoughts lately.

Sorry for the rant, this is the only place I can kind of rant and haven't posted in a while (I do lurk lots tho!)

Blah.

J2J