I transitioned over 15 years ago. Over the years I've done a number of surgical procedures (Orchiectomy, Facial Feminization, Breast Augmentation, Liposuction, Brazilian Butt Lift) but I have never done GRS. Mostly it's dilation that has kept me from doing it. The dilation requirements just seemed like too much of a pain and inconvenience.

Recently I've been thinking that minimal depth GRS might be the right thing for me. It's an appealing option because I can get most of what I want and eliminate the  maintenance requirements. I'm in a long term lesbian relationship and penetrative sex isn't super important to me anyway, so it seems like a great way to go. However, I've been getting some mixed messages from the surgeons I've talked to.

Dr. Satterwhite seemed very supportive of the minimal depth approach, saying it would make recovery easier and is a great option if depth isn't important to me. After talking with him I was feeling pretty good about going forward with it. Then I had a consultation with Dr. Bowers. Though she's willing to do minimal depth as well, she really encouraged me to go with regular depth. She said it doesn't affect the recovery process that much and dilation really isn't that big of a deal.

So, now I'm a little unsure. I don't want to go though a significantly more difficult procedure and recovery just because it's what most other people do, but on the other hand if dilating really isn't that big of a deal maybe I'll be glad to have the depth.

Ultimately it's a decision I have to make for myself, but I would love to hear from others about their experiences. If you've been through GRS, how much of a pain was/is dilation? Do you feel things would have been a lot easier if you didn't have to dilate, or would the recovery process have been roughly the same? Have you had any problems (infection, bleeding, closing up) that you wouldn't have had to worry about with minimal depth?

If anyone else here has gone with minimal depth, I'd especially love to hear about your decision making process and whether you've been happy with it, too.

Thanks in advance!
Aeryn

Hi Aeryn

Welcome and I hope you enjoy your time here at Susan's.

I am just starting to explore my options myself so am not able to advise but simply at this stage to welcome you.


Regards

Liz


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Try this

Jerrica's New Groove (Cosmetic SRS Chet 09-02-2017)
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,219599.0.html

Hi Aeryn,

As someone who also transitioned around the same time you did, and as someone who had SRS at that time, I can tell you that dilation is not that bad.  It can be a hassle at the begining when you have to do it several times a day, but this is only for a limited time.  Then as the dilations are spaced out, you only need to do it once a week, and you can even skip a week or two (or longer) without any serious complications.  Others have posted threads on this.

I have gone months at a time without dilating, because life just gets in the way.  I have not had an issue getting tight back to where I was. 

My rationale for having regular depth vs. minimal depth would be the possibility for penetration.  If you have regular depth, it will remain a possibility, even if you do not use it.  But with Minimal depth, it would not be a possibilty.

I cannot tell you what is the best decision for you to make.  That is ultimately up to you.  I have no regrets about having SRS, it resolved most of my disphoria.  Make the best decision that will make you happiest, because in the end, that is all that matters.

-Sarah

I can say that Dr. Bowers is being VERY economical with the truth!
For her to say that "it isn't that big of a deal" is, in my personal experience, not realistic. Indeed for a surgeon to say that, would ring alarm bells to me about trusting anything else that they might say.
It is a big deal, and must not be approached lightly, it requires a great deal of time and commitment and was also painful (in my own experience very very painful, so much so that I gave up on it after 6 months) and needs to be done for the rest of your life.
You need to approach such a decision with your eyes wide open and be aware 100% of the facts, don't look at it through rose-tinted spectacles. If you're not 100% committed to adhering to a dilation regimen, and all that goes with it, then I'd say stick with your own original plan of a minimal depth "cosmetic" SRS.
If in the future you decided that you actually really wanted penetrative sex, then there are revision options open to you like using a skin graft or colon to get depth.
If you have no real desire for depth and the ability to have penetrative sex, then spending literally hours of your life, lying on your back with a plastic dilator inserted into you, might feel like a bizarre thing to put yourself through.
Just my 10c from someone who's been there.

Sorry I'm a bit late to the party (thank you AnonyMs for linking my Thailand thread) but yeah cosmetic Vs full is defo a big thing which I chewed over endlessly and here on Susan's.

I even talked myself into full "just in case" taking it as the safe option but it just didn't sit well with me.

To me dilation was the deal breaker also and while I've heard it's not that big a deal, you can use it to relax, make it me time etc which were all good ways to handle it but I just don't have the raw time it would take initially or ongoing tbh. I'm not very disciplined and always rushing about so it wasn't really an option.

Another big factor to me which I cannot stress enough this is my own very personal view about myself but to me dilation would have been an eternal ritual reminding me of my birth defect every time I would have to do it instead of just living my life. With that thought alone I could easily see me crying through it still wishing I was just a normal girl years from now. My desire was simply to make me look and feel more normal instead of less. Naked I am perfectly fine now and the only imposition on my life is taking my estrogen tablets but given the myriad of vitamins and supplements I take I can easily handle that without a thought. To me I'm just a woman with an estrogen deficiency nothing more, nothing less.

That said if I was interested in guys enough to see them in my future I'd probably have made it work as many do but I've had a lifetime of being a lesbian and ofc serious penis issues so I'll happily get through the rest of my life without men

Not completely impervious to a handsome charmer and I can enjoy the idea of a hot guy looking after me such as Damon Salvatore but nothing sexual.

My fantasy partner of choice would totally be Lucy Diamond with no limits 

My lesbian identity has been in place forever which was just a fact to me and previously a source of amusement to those that knew in the past but straight sex has always been a kill switch to my sex drive. Finest lesbian media in the world could be ruined in less than a heartbeat by a guy appearing waving his equipment. Still managed to have sex and make 3 kids but we cheated using lesbian fantasies to get me past my physiology which worked enough.

Personally even though it's early days I am happy with cosmetic from comparing with the other girls in Thailand I can see I did get the exact same work carried out which was reassuring. I had worried the procedure itself could have been lesser both in technique and practice given most go for full but the commonalities blew those fears away.

Can still remember the sickening feeling in my stomach going to a lesbian bar feeling like I was some kind of traitor smuggling a penis into a hallowed guy free space which wasn't pleasant but not any more.

My life is exactly the same as it was before surgery but no more having to hide a penis.
Kinda sums it up really which to me is complete success.

I can't comment on the surgery or the pain you might have to go through with recovery.

And I imagine the 6 month ordeal after surgery is not going to be very pleasant at all..

However, as a fellow lesbian.. After the 6 month period of dilation and healing..

Couldn't you just masturbate? Or have sex? This is kind of what my partner and I do..
She treats dilating as an excuse to masturbate LOL
And between a range of toys and vibrators and a strap-on ... "Dilating" doesn't seem to be necessary very often, I'm not even sure if she does actually dilate with the proper expanders anymore, (we don't live together so I'm not 100% sure if she does this occasionally) ... But I think it's highly possible to get by via masturbating or sexual intercourse, after the 6 month healing process.


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Great thread!  I've been following Jerrica's experience closely, as I am also considering the 'Zero-depth option'.  Like Jerrica, I have absolutely no interest in receiving penetrative intercourse  Yes, of course I have 'issues'.  Of course there is some sort of personal thing going on. I'm pretty sure I know the origin of this in my past.  That's my preference.

My gender therapist and I have gone round this a bit, and she has been telling me that it is not a great idea, as even in a lesbian relationship one partner may want to perform penetrative acts (presumably with toys of some sort ).  I'm not at all sure how common that is.  If this is a common thing and really important, I could try to get through therapy to get past my issues and become more... accepting?  I'm just not sure.  I mean, I'm getting into Old Lady territory age-wise, with essentially no bedroom activity for a couple decades, and frankly, prospects for any sort of partners are pretty darn dim.   Do I want to celebrate starting on Medicare with four dialations a day, when I already have these issues?

I've still got some time to figure this out, but honestly, in my personal case, I have trouble seeing a reason to go with anything other than the 'zero-depth option'.  I'll see what I want to see in the mirror, clothing will fit better, and I'll be comfortable.  The cats won't care.

I find the idea quite interesting. I have never thought sex was all it was cracked up to be but then again I have had the wrong equipment. But I am married to a woman who is not going anywhere in my life. At my age just a few yers younger than Michelle_P I have to think seriously about what my expectations are and whether in fact I will ever make use of full depth.

I refuse to break my marriage vows and as that is the only way I will be able to have penetrative sex. Although I really do want a fully functional one...maybe I am being delusional...Don't know but I will be considering this along with many other factors over the next 12 months or so.

Liz

I wouldn't do it, partly because I don't mind the extra difficulties of full SRS, but mostly because it feels very wrong to me. Its really odd that I don't have any issue with SRS but I find even a orchi disturbing. There's probably some psychology behind that, but I'm not sure what it is.

Dilation for me is just two sessions each day, ~30 mins each. I use it for my Zen time or watching YouTube videos. And in 3 1/2 months, it'll just be once a day.

No problem for me.

The choice is always yours, of course...

My dilation schedule was 5 times a day till week 9 then 3 times a day till week 26 (I am now week 16) then 1 time a day till 1 year than twice a week or more if depth decreases. Sex counts as 1 dilation unless it is not deep.

I look at Facebook and listen to Dr. Ronda Patrick during dilation.

I had limited depth gender confirming surgery last May by Dr Keelee MacPhee in Raleigh, North Carolina.  She is a board certified plastic surgeon, trained with Dr Bowers, affiliated with Duke University and a delightful person. Her "bedside manner" will make you think your loving sister is doing your surgery.

The decision is a difficult one but it sounds like you may be an  excellent candidate.

The surgery is much less invasive, shorter time under anesthesia and less complicated. The recovery is also much less complicated, no dilation, 1 night in hospital.  GCS is major surgery and is influenced by your age, physical condition (BMI), medical history, complicating factors and your reaction to anesthesia.

Dr MacPhee will do a video phone consult with you to discuss the options.  I had my first consult with her on St Patricks Day and Surgery in exactly two month later.

Do minimal depth, limited depth and cosmetic GRS refer to the same thing?

Yes

As far as I know they are all the same thing.

I am pre-op, so I am not able to offer any real life experience yet. I would mention human nature though. All too often we take for granted what we have, and crave what is unavailable to us. My fear of not doing full depth GCS would be later wanting what is then impossible. It is also possible that relationships end and a new partner might bring new circumstances. To anyone who is thinking of being penetrated as being repugnant, maybe it would be a no brainer.
Moni

Quote from: HappyMoni on April 17, 2017, 08:02:09 AM
I am pre-op, so I am not able to offer any real life experience yet. I would mention human nature though. All too often we take for granted what we have, and crave what is unavailable to us. My fear of not doing full depth GCS would be later wanting what is then impossible. It is also possible that relationships end and a new partner might bring new circumstances. To anyone who is thinking of being penetrated as being repugnant, maybe it would be a no brainer.
Moni

This is a very real possibility.  It may be that at some point we can identify and correct my personal issues regarding penetrative intercourse, and I will regret not being able to do this.  It is driving me to consider a full vaginoplasty and put up with the inconveniences and distress from dialation I fear I will have.

So, right now, my surgical request is for a full vaginoplasty. 

It's interesting how different the techniques and post-op procedures vary around. I would've gotten a no-depth surgery had it been available to me, but here in Finland, only one type of surgery is performed. So that's what it did.

But the technique they use here doesn't involve practically any dilation. I'm now 3,5 weeks post-op and not only did I not have to dilate until yesterday, I was expressly forbidden to do so. And even now, it's more of an internal clean than dilation. There is some internal massaging involved to minimize the scar tissue formation, but very little to none actual dilation is involved. I'm pretty happy about it, it seems to be quite a chore and me being a fellow lesbian without much interest in penetrative goings on, this suits me well.

Who is the surgeon in Finland?

Quote from: AnonyMs on April 27, 2017, 07:56:30 AM
Who is the surgeon in Finland?

There's a group of surgeons who perform them under the public health case system. My surgeon was Lea Pulliainen, but I think there's about 5 different surgeons in the team who do them regularly.