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I feel like I was discriminated today...

Started by Elsa.G, April 17, 2017, 09:39:59 PM

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Elsa.G

Today I went my Supercuts in town, (I live in a rural town, so currently not many options around) and from the moment I walked in the door I got this bad feeling, there we're 2 hairstylist's there, a 30 something short, chubby woman with glasses- and another even younger girl, maybe 24-25 years old. I usually see a girl there named Krista because she has curly hair like me, Krista has been the only hairstylist that I've been able to find (ever) that has done a great job dealing with my naturally frizzy/wavy hair because she has the same type of hair as me, maybe even curlier and coarser. Anyway Krista was not there when I arrived, so I thought it was better for me to leave,especially since I got a negative feeling from the moment I walked in- especially from the younger woman, I feel like she could tell that I am trans and because of that I felt like she was constantly watching me. The chubby lady offered to trim my hair as Krista wasn't there, and hesitantly I said yes and sat in the chair. When I was in the chair I told the woman that all I wanted was a bang trim and a slight trim of my ends (I am growing out my hair, my hair is currently armpit length) and she immediately grabbed a piece of my hair, looked at it up and down in disgust and said I needed to lop off about half of the length because it was terribly damaged. Than I asked her how can my hair which I rarely do anything to (I don't dye it, use heat, or anything to damage it- I sleep with a silk pillow and my hair wrapped, I hardly shampoo it, I condition regularly, protect it from the elements, etc.) how can my hair suddenly be terribly damaged since my last trim? I had a trim with Krista only about 8-10 weeks earlier and she said my hair was in great shape- when I mentioned this to the chubby woman she replied "don't listen to Krista" in a nasty tone, insinuating that my regular stylist was lying or didn't know what she was talking about. Than the worst part happened, the younger girl came and stood across from me, arms crossed, she was watching the other woman tell me how ->-bleeped-<-ty my hair was, and giving me weird looks. I just got the feeling that these women didn't like me, especially since the chubby woman kept insinuating that I cut my hair short, and insisting that my hair was damaged when I know its not. Can someone please tell me that I'm not crazy for thinking this, I really feel like I was being hated on today :/
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LizK

Hi Elsa.G

I have to ask the obvious question...is your hair Damaged?  I ask partly because if it is not damaged then yes I think you were probably right...you were discriminated against If it is damaged I think you are probably right also...in either way it sounds to me like they didn't make the experience all that pleasant...Did they charge you for a women's haircut?

I would be getting it checked for a second opinion for the simple reason you may be able to do something if your hair is damaged rather than just cut it...there may be a treatment. If it remains untreated then you may have problems...then of course it will also confirm if they were being bigoted.

Unfortunately there is not a great win for you if you like the Stylist who wasn't there and you want her to cut your hair. I guess it get to how far you want to take it...if at all.

Liz
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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kelly_aus

I'd have walked out before the scissors even touched my hair..

I spend way more on my hair than I can really afford, but it's the one area on my grooming where I really splurge. Every 6 weeks it gets a cut and colour. And I know it's a stereotype, but the best stylists I've come across in my life have all been gay men - including an exBF..
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Harley Quinn

Walk away... those 2 sound like bad news. Stick with your first stylist. She sounds like a good one. I keep mine on retainer. I won't venture off of the path she set for me. Frizz is not damaged, it's just Frizz. I get Frizz bad as well...

I wouldn't say discriminated against. You more or less found a "hairdresser" (and I use that term loosely, more accurate to say "clipper jockey") on a bad day and one that, more than likely lost all of her clients. Call and book appointments... your hair will thank you!
At what point did my life go Looney Tunes? How did it happen? Who's to blame?... Batman, that's who. Batman! It's always been Batman! Ruining my life, spoiling my fun! >:-)
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findingreason

I would wait until you are able to see the stylist that sees your normally is there---maybe even ask her there about the other two. Perhaps maybe look into reporting the other two to corporate human resources? It sounds like you very well may have been discriminated against.


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RobynD

I had somewhat bad experience of rudeness at a chain like that once. I did not go back and only go to independent places now. The turnover is lower and some of them have actual experience working with transgender people.



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Wild Flower

Customer is always right is my motto. Even when I feel completely opposite, I go with the customer. Guess what, I have a loyal following of customers, and even when I mess up, people don't hate me, and forgive easily.

I'm not a hairdresser, but I work in IT at the moment, and IT is heavily customer based. Always go with the customer. They sound like they forgotten the golden rule of customer service.

If I was them, I would had just agree with you and just keep you happy. It doesn't matter what my opinion is, all that matters is how the customer feels/happy about the product.

"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."
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cheryl reeves

I've gotten wary in my old age about letting anyone cut mine and it needs a trim badly,for I found they really don't listen much when you tell them how you want it done and wind up with something you didn't want..The last one screwed up so bad I haven't been back period..Any hair dresser who grabs a handful of my hair my need a ambulance.
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alex82

Quote from: Wild Flower on April 18, 2017, 10:07:25 PM
Customer is always right is my motto. Even when I feel completely opposite, I go with the customer. Guess what, I have a loyal following of customers, and even when I mess up, people don't hate me, and forgive easily.

I'm not a hairdresser, but I work in IT at the moment, and IT is heavily customer based. Always go with the customer. They sound like they forgotten the golden rule of customer service.

If I was them, I would had just agree with you and just keep you happy. It doesn't matter what my opinion is, all that matters is how the customer feels/happy about the product.

No. It's not in any salons interest to let a client leave looking like sh**. The customer is not always right. The customer may very well not have a blind clue what they are talking about. Stylists aren't just there to style to order, but to advise and cooperate, suggest, and sometimes to refuse.

If you don't want to pay for and trust a professional appraisal and outcome, then you might as well do it yourself. In the case of hair/dressers, it may be attached to your head, but what it looks like has someone else's name and reputation attached to it. They have a right to protect that. I have an active preference for creative professionals who do discriminate. I like them to discriminate against half baked ideas (even my own), bad direction, and mediocre outcomes.

It may be that the hairdresser and her colleague were a couple of horrors. It may actually be that this persons hair was damaged. 'Treatments' for this are ultimately a waste of money. The ends at least do need to be cut off, and there's no way to do that without making it shorter. Once that's done in one place, it needs to be done everywhere.

My hair is dyed, and my hairdresser will tell me honestly what will work, what won't, what she is prepared to do to it, and what will not work or will actively damage it. Several times she has totally blocked ideas and colour/shade suggestions from me. She works with Balenciaga among other designers, and that's why I pay her.

In the whole original post, there is a lot of detail but nothing that actually says the person feels their new cut doesn't look good. Either way, I agree with what others have said - find and use a hairdresser you trust.
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