Why do I have to be so different than anyone else?   I hate feeling like an alien.

I'm hopelessly genderfluid

I'm sexually fluid (and even that's messed up a bit)

I am biracial, and don't fit into either race group

I have OCD, generalized anxiety, ADD, and possibly some depression.

I'm too intellectual to be with regular people but not intellectual and nerdy enough to be with geeks and nerds

I need to be around people too much to be an introvert, and yet I'm not outgoing enough to be an extrovert.



Why couldn't I have born like a regular person?

Well, that's a common side effect of high IQ.

I have similar issues: gender fluid, partial transmale, a Third Culture Kid, mixed race (Native American, Caucasian, Spanish, but aren't most people a DNA mix?), throw in asexual/demisexual, although probably pansexual if I could be sexually attracted to people, some dysphoria-although that's handled by taking derris scandens, a common Thai herb.

I also can communicate with animals (once people realize it, they began asking me to talk to their troubled pets), can't play cards or board games because I keep winning (I keep drawing royal flushes, dice comes up how I want), can read peoples' minds at will (but don't, unless I'm asked to do it as a favor and for a good reason) so I've always had to hide that as well as well as try to "act like a female" or pretend I'm a normal American, although I grew up abroad and my mindset isn't the same as most Americans I know.

My theory is that mixed gender hormones contribute to mental turmoil, but could have to do with dysphoria also, or from constantly trying to suppress one's gender identity.

My IQ is also very high, so it's hard to relate to normal people.

I'm smarter than many but not as much as some. I get passed over on jobs because I suspect people are intimidated by intelligence. I've always wanted to be a woman and always wanted to dress in dresses and skirts. I'm only attracted to women though that might change with hormones and a female body.

I sometimes see the future and predicted 911, 7 years ahead and saw it clearly in a vision,  6 months in advance. I rarely have a problem with people or animals. Insects is another matter... I got bitten by a black widow (judging from the mark) on Friday. And of course I had an abusive partner who made my life Hell fir several years but who I loved dearly even so. Shortly after we broke up, my partner died and presumably took a trip downstairs.

I dream of being seen as a woman by men and women and to be able to blend in. I hate being male and hate hormonal urges.


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I've always been different and males sense that and they either leave me alone or I make em leave me alone.
I have a high iq,mensa level and it made me anti social for I love too study,but only study subjects that peaks my interest. I want to be Cheryl full-time but I know after 3 days of clean face my wife can't handle to much of Cheryl.

@Valkyrie

Oh, yeah-thanks for reminding me. Plenty more I left out, including seeing the future. I did that when younger. When people asked me a question about something unknown, such as when someone would arrive from a long trip, I'd suddenly know. I'd just mentally go to where the car was, "see" it driving on the road, then suddenly "know" the arrival time.
I never wore a watch but whenever someone asked me the time, I'd mentally go to the nearest clock, then tell them.

My friends took this for granted. I only noticed when a new person to the group asked how come everyone always asked me the time when I wasn't wearing a watch. We all felt startled, but nobody answered and after a moment, someone changed the subject.

Also, I kept teleporting, but only when I wanted out of a bad situation or didn't want to travel. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to do it deliberately, but it saved my life several times by teleporting me away from dangers like head-on collisions, and several times I started out on journeys, then almost immediately, found myself arriving, with only about ten minutes travel time.
For a year I drove a car without a working speedometer and kept arriving at cities three hours away in only 20 minutes. Once I got a car with a working speedometer, I couldn't do it.

My kids do all this stuff also, but most of my relatives and friends are pragmatic sorts who wouldn't notice even if such things did happen to them.

As for seeing the future, in college, the timeline slipped for a while and I was seeing the future about a minute ahead of time. I'd see an accident at an intersection, then everything would reset and soon the cars would drive up and the accident would happen again.

I began to be confused, so I decided it would stop, and it did. I also decided no more involuntary mind reading, since other people's thoughts were depressing me, I decided that I could wear a watch (before, if I put on any watch, even to try it on in a store, it would stop. Digital watches would go blank) and whatever I decided would stop happening, stopped.

I'm both male and female, so qualify for being what the Native Americans called a "two spirit."  Androgynous people were honored for having both male and female traits, and usually trained to be shamans because of their spiritual gifts.

@Valkyrie  Do ciswomen actually wear skirts and dresses, except in church or at parties? I don't know any US ciswomen who wear anything other than jeans and T-shirts when they don't have to.

I see many women in skirts and dresses in sc and many more if not most, in Europe.


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hi Katelyn ... Yes!!! ... me too ... and very happy to find you here ... hope we can dialog more here in future

by way of intro ... please see my intro 

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,224646.msg1989362.html#msg1989362