Like others, I also can echo so many of the comments in this thread.
You may as well be describing me.
I have the feeling that people come to expect us to be mild mannered so much so that when we express anger it often comes across wrong. We do not do it enough to express it as well as they do so it shocks them. Just as many things in life practice makes perfect, we lack the practice I guess. My anger comes across at about the same level as what they consider being aggravated except I make a big show of it. When others get angry, they are on a level than I can't even grasp, and that is not even the hot heads.
I do wonder if it is a coping mechanism or just us being calm due to our genetic makeup... Which came first, the chicken or the egg, probably just as hard to figure out. Were it a coping mechanism, we could adapt and more easily fit in when we get angry, then again, we also have adapted ourselves to fit society and as usual I just talked myself into a circle.

As for that army...
Something to ponder. With us being so mild mannered would an androgyne army ever actually accomplish anything?
Oh, and I could do the pipes if needed.