With all the coming out I did yesterday, I sent an email to my younger brother, introducing Kathy to him.  I didn't really want to do it, because I didn't anticipate a good reaction.  He is passive-aggressively homophobic.  The trans topic has never come up in conversation, but I can't imagine he would feel differently about us. 

But I felt I needed to do it.  It's been 24 hours now and no reply.  It's kind of what I expected.  I may never get a reply.  Ever.

On the other hand, he was always slow about replying to emails.  Maybe he's happy for me and just being his normal tardy self.  Somehow, I don't think that's it.

It makes me sad.  It would be my first rejection.   

Well, no matter what happens, it was the right thing to do, and also brave.

If the others are positive, he might come around.

Big hug! My older brother didn't make the cut. He couldn't lay off the transgender jokes and I cut him out of my life. No time for that nonsense. For what it's worth, my sisters were both slow to reply to my coming out email, but they are both very accepting of me.

Hugs, Devlyn

Its unfortuntate. I had an older cousin who deeply admired for the longest time and would say he was my fav..... Until I began the transition process and all he had to say was ''Your not truly trans, if you were there would have been signs when you were little'' or downplaying my emotions about my identity and telling me they really dont matter and going on to explain how much of a ''man'' I am. To make matters worse and to prove he wasnt there on my side as he said he was, whenever I talked about the good the estrogen was doing to me like the calm state of mind, how I notice nice changes to my body all he would do with a very negative downer voice would point out all the things that havent changed ''Well I see see facial hair stubble and your voice is still pretty low''.. He was a brute the whole time.. Havent talked to him since xmas 2015 and I couldnt be happier about it.

I just hope your brother comes around. Your strong girl, rememebr that!

What use is having somebody in your life, if there being there results in losing a bit of yourself?

Sometimes honestly is the best policy.  I told my dad,  I know he will never accept it.  But I needed to tell him,  so at least I can be myself. I kinda did it for myself not him. But.. then again this is nothing new.  Growing up my dad never really asked much about my private life.  So I rather him give me no response rather than a negative response.  But i'm happy for you,  that you told your brother.

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

I feel for.you, Kathy.  I lost both siblings...brother and sister.  Lost several cousins, too.  I like to say it was their loss, not mine.

HI Kathy,
   
  I'm in the "Give it some time camp". As you said he could be just slow, taking some time to digest the news if you will.
You do not need to assume the worst just yet. At this point you just do not really know. No sense go down that path right now.
   Instead bask in the acceptance you have had so far. It's your time to celebrate!! You've worked hard to get to where you are now so go do something to enjoy it.

  Hugs,
   Jeanette

If there's true sibling love there, he'll accept it at some point. Much love to you!

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on April 21, 2017, 08:03:13 AM
Its unfortuntate. I had an older cousin who deeply admired for the longest time and would say he was my fav..... Until I began the transition process and all he had to say was ''Your not truly trans, if you were there would have been signs when you were little'' or downplaying my emotions about my identity and telling me they really dont matter and going on to explain how much of a ''man'' I am. To make matters worse and to prove he wasnt there on my side as he said he was, whenever I talked about the good the estrogen was doing to me like the calm state of mind, how I notice nice changes to my body all he would do with a very negative downer voice would point out all the things that havent changed ''Well I see see facial hair stubble and your voice is still pretty low''.. He was a brute the whole time.. Havent talked to him since xmas 2015 and I couldnt be happier about it.

I just hope your brother comes around. Your strong girl, rememebr that!

Your cousin is awful. Good choice cutting him out of your life.

Give it a little while before coming to conclusions. This is huge news for those close to us and can take some time process. It might be that he hasn't even seen the message yet, or maybe that he is thinking up a careful response. That said, you are incredibly brave. I'm not looking forward to coming out to anyone in my family as they are all very conservative and not at all supportive of LGBT rights, but as I get further into hrt, I know it will have to happen. As others have said, I'll tell them for me, not them. The only family member I expect to be receptive is my big sister, but she is also a ball of anxiety and will undoubtedly freak out at first and subsequently spend week throwing every question she can think up way. It's my mother I'm most concerned about coming out to; she is you're fundamentalist in all manner of thought and has in the past said in no uncertain terms that transwomen are just perverted men who get off on using ladies bathrooms...

Sad story Kathy but in reality you don't know anything just yet. I don't know how close you are to your brother but my money is on if the sibling feelings are mutual he will come around and welcome his sister. Fair chance that may take some time, patience and understanding of each others position will help.

I'm jealous of your bravery and hope the future is bright for you.

I couldn't tell my oldest brother in person because of fear. I sent him a snail mail  letter. It took forever for a response. I needed to know, so I had my other brother call and feel him out. It turns out he was accepting and  was gonna call me. The thing is I had written Great Neck instead of Great River on the envelope and it took forever for him to even get it. If you need to know, get someone else to call and check. No one wants to write off a close relative, but if they are hostile, they are making a choice. Hope he is just slow and not dumb. He would be dumb to reject you.
Moni

Thank you all for counselling patience!!  I just received a very nice email from my brother promising "acceptance, love, understanding and support".     I feel bad that I misjudged him.

Quote from: KathyLauren on April 24, 2017, 06:40:05 AM
Thank you all for counselling patience!!  I just received a very nice email from my brother promising "acceptance, love, understanding and support".     I feel bad that I misjudged him.

I missed this thread at the start but I am always glad to hear of great outcomes where it involves family..great news from your brother...

I love a story with a happy ending, that is truly wonderful news.

Great news! So happy for you

That's great news, Kathy!  Any thoughts on face to face time with the newly informed relatives?
Moni

  Count me in on congratulating you about your brother. Glad you got better news than the sad thought you were having. Somethings require patience. (brothers can be slow especially when it requires writing something)
 
   Jeanette

Kathy,
I am so happy to hear your news.  Congratulations for you success.
Steph