So I've been on injections since January 2014. At the beginning I was hopelessly unable to pass, and often told so and sometimes openly laughed at. This created a lot of anxiety for me, so I live in drab, but I like how my body has changed and laser has taken away a lot of the awful beard shadow.

I've kind of given up going out as Joan, except for some trips to a crossdresser/gay club every now and then. Anyway, I was feeling reckless or stupid today and decided to give it another go, got in the car, drove, and then got out of the car.

People were nice to me. Women talked to me in the store. Men smiled at me. I tried on some jeans, had a coffee, bought a new lipstick. And it all felt pretty natural.

I'm not sure what the takehome is from this. Maybe we all need to relax a bit? That said, when the plan is to go full time the pressure ramps up so much.

I can relate so much. 14 months on hormones and I've gone out as Brie less and less since I have been on hormones. partly because the hormone have helped with my dysphoria so much, but still afraid too. I had my orchiectomy friday and went for a ride to get ice cream yesterday. Now I know I still felt lousy and was in a lot of pain, but I did take the time to shower and put on a cute outfit (and I mean I thought I looked cute, not just other people saying I looked cute, which is rare for me be confident in my appearance) but I the ice cream place was super crowed and I was till afraid to get out of the car which made me sad. I felt after I had my orchiectomy that Brie was finally born and I was ready, but it is still going to take time. Someday though my happiness and comfort will matter more to me than what other people think. It's not easy though. I'm so glad you had a good day. That can go so far.

I was off of HRT for 10 years and it really did a number on my face. I was often called sir by people who didn't know me and I didn't understand why until one day when I took a good look in the mirror. I have been back on a modest dose of HRT for about a year now and once again, I am being gendered female by total strangers. We may not see it but HRT not only affects our body but our face. You face appears feminine enough when combined with hair and clothing that you should consistently be gendered as female. Male fail is yours if you want it.

Hi Briezy

Glad you enjoyed your ice cream and I hope that the pain from the surgery subsides soon.

Like you the need to put on typically female clothing has subsided a great deal and some part of that is that I don't much like what I see in the mirror. And I relate to that getting out the car thing. I stopped at a conveneience store on the way in to town yesterday and it was several deep breaths before I could open the door and get out. Then you realise that people aren't going to form a circle around you and start laughing, or start throwing rocks or anything.

And thank you for that, Dena

Yes hrt has made a subtle difference I guess, softening some of the harder edges of my face.


I'm beginning to think that I might be at a stage where I could go full time,  take on a femalet gender role in earnest, and with time  make some kind of a success of it. I'd kind of given up on that ever being a possibility.