How can I come out to a sibling slyly?

FemPossible · April 24, 2017, 10:16:27 AM

I want it to be an "oh my, I guess you found me out" sort of thing.

Alora · April 24, 2017, 10:19:46 AM

Quote from: FemPossible on April 24, 2017, 10:16:27 AM
I want it to be an "oh my, I guess you found me out" sort of thing.

I started a conversation with my sister about the LGBTQ community and what her feeling towards some of the political stuff that was circling the elections last year. Which then lead into my coming out.

We had a great conversation.

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Charlie Nicki · April 24, 2017, 11:26:24 AM

My brother is gay and when he came out, he invited me to lunch and we were talking about casual stuff when he said he was dating someone and I was like "who?" and he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of him with a guy and was like "here". I was in shock. Not because he was gay (I had figured it out a long time ago) but because I didn't think he had the guts to tell me.

You could do something like that, just show them a picture of an outfit you want to wear or something you bought, and when they ask what's going on just tell them.

FemPossible · April 24, 2017, 01:52:40 PM

Alora - I've considered something like that after he saw that I have a pink case for my tablet. He asked me why, but I froze and just changed the subject.

Charlie - I don't think I'm brave enough to do something like that. I wish I could travel across the country, call him on the phone, say that I'm transgender, and then hang up. But alas, I don't have the means or reason to travel so far.

Charlie Nicki · April 24, 2017, 02:07:47 PM

Quote from: FemPossible on April 24, 2017, 01:52:40 PM
Alora - I've considered something like that after he saw that I have a pink case for my tablet. He asked me why, but I froze and just changed the subject.

Charlie - I don't think I'm brave enough to do something like that. I wish I could travel across the country, call him on the phone, say that I'm transgender, and then hang up. But alas, I don't have the means or reason to travel so far.

Sending an e-mail usually works if you can't do it face to face.

Rayna · April 24, 2017, 08:41:51 PM

I went to a costume ball at Halloween as a woman, and sent out the photo to friends and family. I didn't say anything about it being an ongoing thing, but it has greatly eased the barriers so I can casually mention it now. I told my sister and son that way.

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Janes Groove · April 24, 2017, 09:07:23 PM

Quote from: FemPossible on April 24, 2017, 10:16:27 AM
I want it to be an "oh my, I guess you found me out" sort of thing.

Perhaps something subtle like pink fingernail polish.

Alora · April 24, 2017, 09:08:59 PM

Quote from: Jane Emily on April 24, 2017, 09:07:23 PM
Perhaps something subtle like pink fingernail polish.

I did this one too. I start with nail polish around my family!! [emoji16][emoji16]

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HappyMoni · April 24, 2017, 09:09:49 PM

Can I ask why you want to do it like that? Are you fearful of their reaction? Won't you face them later? I guess I am thinking your chances of a good long term reaction might be improved by telling them more of your story, even if done in a letter. Just wondering!
Moni

Janes Groove · April 24, 2017, 11:42:36 PM

Quote from: Alora on April 24, 2017, 09:08:59 PM
I did this one too. I start with nail polish around my family!! [emoji16][emoji16]

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Me too, but after I came out. It's a great non verbal way to send a message. i.e. I'm here. I'm trans. Get used to it.

Fresas con Nata · April 25, 2017, 01:18:21 PM

Quote from: HappyMoni on April 24, 2017, 09:09:49 PM
Can I ask why you want to do it like that? Are you fearful of their reaction? Won't you face them later? I guess I am thinking your chances of a good long term reaction might be improved by telling them more of your story, even if done in a letter. Just wondering!
Moni

It's no secret that people need time to digest the news. I guess this strategy is about giving them time before dropping the news. It won't be as much of a shock after some clues are given.

HappyMoni · April 25, 2017, 03:56:39 PM

I don't mean any disrespect with my posts here. Maybe it is an approach I just never considered. I do think the conversation of what is really behind the hinting will need to still happen at some point. Why not get it over with, be honest and straight forward with people. I try to picture myself in the situation and I don't know if I would like people making guesses, possibly wrong guesses. If it was my relative I would want the respect of being told directly. Oh well, I am of the old generation I guess. I offer it up for consideration. Of course, if I wasn't sure about my path, maybe testing reactions might be a smart move.
Moni

Alora · April 25, 2017, 04:57:20 PM

Quote from: HappyMoni on April 25, 2017, 03:56:39 PM
I don't mean any disrespect with my posts here. Maybe it is an approach I just never considered. I do think the conversation of what is really behind the hinting will need to still happen at some point. Why not get it over with, be honest and straight forward with people. I try to picture myself in the situation and I don't know if I would like people making guesses, possibly wrong guesses. If it was my relative I would want the respect of being told directly. Oh well, I am of the old generation I guess. I offer it up for consideration. Of course, if I wasn't sure about my path, maybe testing reactions might be a smart move.
Moni

I think it's more about preparing them then anything. I started with nail polish, then added in a new set of ear piercings. Then construction a letter saying I had something important to talk to them about. These were all little ice breakers.

I feel it allowed for the really important talk to truly be received.

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How can I come out to a sibling slyly?