I am glad you are doing well and feeling better.

You showed #1,2 and 3 dilator in your pic form Soul Source. Soul Source sells a #4 dilator, it is orange. If you want a larger dilator. it is 1.5 inches diameter.

Quote from: Rachel Lynn on April 02, 2017, 12:22:28 PM
I am glad you are doing well and feeling better.

You showed #1,2 and 3 dilator in your pic form Soul Source. Soul Source sells a #4 dilator, it is orange. If you want a larger dilator. it is 1.5 inches diameter.

thank you.  I can barely get the green one in as it is.  that orange one would rip me right open.

I had my 6 week follow up Monday. Sent pics over via email, and we did a skype appt.

I was feeling really good and smiling happy. She said everything looked normal and was healing nicely.  I am now off lifting and activity restrictions.  I can return to all normal activities at my discretion.  Work if I choose, but I'm not quite ready for that and still have almost 2 months till I have to be back at work. But I can go back earlier if I feel like it.

Rest of the week was good, except for one thing.  I've been hoping to avoid it, but apparently I couldnt. I've had tightness getting my big green dilator in along with mild burning, so it appears I have granulations deep inside the vagina. sigh. [emoji19]

So I dont feel very good right now, they have me dilating with the blue one for 25 minutes, I cant even get the green in.

Trying to get in to see the gynecologist on Monday or Tuesday to get silver nitrate applied to them. [emoji20]

Gonna be a long weekend. Not super bad, pain level 2-3 and burning sensation. [emoji53]

audreytn, if you think you have granulation spot you need to see a GYN and get them taken care of, any GYN can do the treatment.

So the past weekend and this week have presented new challenges and setbacks.

I went out to support group meeting Saturday. Before I left everything was normal. was gone 4 hours, group meeting and then dinner, came home and got ready to dilate and my right labia was swollen up to three times its normal size.

I immediately called Dr. Rumers office and got the after hours switchboard. She relayed the message and 5 minutes later I had a call.  The nurse asked me to email pics which I did.  One of my sutures was inflammed and possibly infected.  I think I may have irritated it by crossing my legs while at group and didnt realize it could affect my surgery area like that.

Was advised to take 800 mg ibuprofen 3x daily, and apply triple anti-biotic ointment.

Was also placed back on full restrictions and no lifting till Friday afternoon. ugh. (can go to the doc, grocery store and thats it, nowhere else) and put on mandatory bed rest. No walking for exercise, no getting out and about.

The swelling has gone down about halfway. Had an appt with the gynecologist but no granulations were found. Lower right side in the vagina is noticeably irritated but nothing else, everything looks to be healing fine.  Dilating with the green continues to cause minor pain and burning on the lower right side. But I am getting 3 dots of depth on both dilators. Was usually at 2.5 for blue and lucky to get 2 on the green.

Went home after grabbing some necessities from the grocery store and have been in bed ever since, except to use bathroom, shower and make food.

I am extremely bored. I cant even sit at my computer. They want NO pressure at all on my surgery area, not even sitting on a cushion in a chair and my laptop has gone kaput.

Hoping to get off restrictions and bed rest Friday before I go crazy.

On the bright side I was released to "self-explore" when I had my 6 week follow-up, so I engaged lightly on my clitoral area on Sunday and almost had an orgasm...was so close...but no cigar.

I tried again today and I did it!!  I had my first female orgasm.  Rocked my socks off!!!! Woooooooooooow! [emoji15] So amazing and felt better than anything I ever did in my male configuration. MUCH better! [emoji12]

Soooooo powerful, yet smooth and the build up was incredible and it lasted such a long time.  It was so amazing, so gratifying, so fullfilling...it actually meant something for once. It felt like I found something that had been missing for such a long, long time.

I dont mean to seem crass when I say this, but to me that validated everything I have been through. Some people will disagree and say even if you can't orgasm you're still validated as a woman and I agree they are still validated, but thats not what I mean...my point is its nice to know I got my cake and I got to eat it too, thats all.

Even if I couldnt orgasm, I'd still be happy about my surgery and being a woman regardless. But this does definitely a mental edge off of worry about if I can or not, because now I know I can orgasm.

I am looking forward to so many more of those with a partner later down the road.  Especially someone going down on me. That's gonna be special.

Setbacks and silver linings in the clouds all at once. What an odd week.

That is indeed a silver lining to enforced bed rest and not at all crass. For my part I'd not be proceeding to GCS if I didn't want that for my sexuality, my emotional needs are being pretty well met by estrogen therapy, it seems unlikely I'll ever pass but I'll be content to have a passing vagina and to be orgasmic seems not too much to ask :-). As Audrey said, that's just me and the way I want to be.

Quote from: audreytn on April 12, 2017, 08:18:54 PM
So the past weekend and this week have presented new challenges and setbacks.

I went out to support group meeting Saturday. Before I left everything was normal. was gone 4 hours, group meeting and then dinner, came home and got ready to dilate and my right labia was swollen up to three times its normal size.

I immediately called Dr. Rumers office and got the after hours switchboard. She relayed the message and 5 minutes later I had a call.  The nurse asked me to email pics which I did.  One of my sutures was inflammed and possibly infected.  I think I may have irritated it by crossing my legs while at group and didnt realize it could affect my surgery area like that.

Was advised to take 800 mg ibuprofen 3x daily, and apply triple anti-biotic ointment.

Was also placed back on full restrictions and no lifting till Friday afternoon. ugh. (can go to the doc, grocery store and thats it, nowhere else) and put on mandatory bed rest. No walking for exercise, no getting out and about.

The swelling has gone down about halfway. Had an appt with the gynecologist but no granulations were found. Lower right side in the vagina is noticeably irritated but nothing else, everything looks to be healing fine.  Dilating with the green continues to cause minor pain and burning on the lower right side. But I am getting 3 dots of depth on both dilators. Was usually at 2.5 for blue and lucky to get 2 on the green.

Went home after grabbing some necessities from the grocery store and have been in bed ever since, except to use bathroom, shower and make food.

I am extremely bored. I cant even sit at my computer. They want NO pressure at all on my surgery area, not even sitting on a cushion in a chair and my laptop has gone kaput.

Hoping to get off restrictions and bed rest Friday before I go crazy.

On the bright side I was released to "self-explore" when I had my 6 week follow-up, so I engaged lightly on my clitoral area on Sunday and almost had an orgasm...was so close...but no cigar.

I tried again today and I did it!!  I had my first female orgasm.  Rocked my socks off!!!! Woooooooooooow! [emoji15] So amazing and felt better than anything I ever did in my male configuration. MUCH better! [emoji12]

Soooooo powerful, yet smooth and the build up was incredible and it lasted such a long time.  It was so amazing, so gratifying, so fullfilling...it actually meant something for once. It felt like I found something that had been missing for such a long, long time.

I dont mean to seem crass when I say this, but to me that validated everything I have been through. Some people will disagree and say even if you can't orgasm you're still validated as a woman and I agree they are still validated, but thats not what I mean...my point is its nice to know I got my cake and I got to eat it too, thats all.

Even if I couldnt orgasm, I'd still be happy about my surgery and being a woman regardless. But this does definitely a mental edge off of worry about if I can or not, because now I know I can orgasm.

I am looking forward to so many more of those with a partner later down the road.  Especially someone going down on me. That's gonna be special.

Setbacks and silver linings in the clouds all at once. What an odd week.

Wow... lucky your orgasm was that intense... mine was an orgasm for sure but it wasn't intense... it pretty much feels the same as when I was pre op but not as strong... but I'm happy


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Well I am 8 weeks post-op. the infection has passed, swelling is gone and irritation has ceased. I am off bed rest and back up and bouncing around. Just remembering not to cross those legs so I can avoid further irritation.

Probably headed back to work soon. I've gotten all I needed to do, done and I have most of my energy back. About 85% right now. minor soreness and tightness but nothing ibuprofen wont resolve. Its up to me if I go back early. Kinda enjoying the time off but the money train is starting to run empty. Not due back till May 30th at the latest.

Orgasm #2 was achieved last night and a whole lot of self-lubricating as well followed by squirting.

Things are looking up.  I am also hitting 4 dots of depth with the green dilator and 4.25 with the blue. very very pleased with this.

Quote from: audreytn on April 12, 2017, 08:18:54 PM
So the past weekend and this week have presented new challenges and setbacks.

I went out to support group meeting Saturday. Before I left everything was normal. was gone 4 hours, group meeting and then dinner, came home and got ready to dilate and my right labia was swollen up to three times its normal size.

I immediately called Dr. Rumers office and got the after hours switchboard. She relayed the message and 5 minutes later I had a call.  The nurse asked me to email pics which I did.  One of my sutures was inflammed and possibly infected.  I think I may have irritated it by crossing my legs while at group and didnt realize it could affect my surgery area like that.

Was advised to take 800 mg ibuprofen 3x daily, and apply triple anti-biotic ointment.

Was also placed back on full restrictions and no lifting till Friday afternoon. ugh. (can go to the doc, grocery store and thats it, nowhere else) and put on mandatory bed rest. No walking for exercise, no getting out and about.

The swelling has gone down about halfway. Had an appt with the gynecologist but no granulations were found. Lower right side in the vagina is noticeably irritated but nothing else, everything looks to be healing fine.  Dilating with the green continues to cause minor pain and burning on the lower right side. But I am getting 3 dots of depth on both dilators. Was usually at 2.5 for blue and lucky to get 2 on the green.

Went home after grabbing some necessities from the grocery store and have been in bed ever since, except to use bathroom, shower and make food.

I am extremely bored. I cant even sit at my computer. They want NO pressure at all on my surgery area, not even sitting on a cushion in a chair and my laptop has gone kaput.

Hoping to get off restrictions and bed rest Friday before I go crazy.

On the bright side I was released to "self-explore" when I had my 6 week follow-up, so I engaged lightly on my clitoral area on Sunday and almost had an orgasm...was so close...but no cigar.

I tried again today and I did it!!  I had my first female orgasm.  Rocked my socks off!!!! Woooooooooooow! [emoji15] So amazing and felt better than anything I ever did in my male configuration. MUCH better! [emoji12]

Soooooo powerful, yet smooth and the build up was incredible and it lasted such a long time.  It was so amazing, so gratifying, so fullfilling...it actually meant something for once. It felt like I found something that had been missing for such a long, long time.

I dont mean to seem crass when I say this, but to me that validated everything I have been through. Some people will disagree and say even if you can't orgasm you're still validated as a woman and I agree they are still validated, but thats not what I mean...my point is its nice to know I got my cake and I got to eat it too, thats all.

Even if I couldnt orgasm, I'd still be happy about my surgery and being a woman regardless. But this does definitely a mental edge off of worry about if I can or not, because now I know I can orgasm.

I am looking forward to so many more of those with a partner later down the road.  Especially someone going down on me. That's gonna be special.

Setbacks and silver linings in the clouds all at once. What an odd week.

I read that bit about the orgasm and i got all excited for you. Lol. I'm laying here at 4 weeks feeling much of what you've already described in your posts.

Too funny, I feel like a giddy schoolgirl.

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been some ups and downs. I am now back at work.  I lost my position but I had a crappy boss anyhow.  The place I work has plenty of contractors and another offered me $70K a year to work for him, so I came out ahead on the deal.  Same position but with a new boss and he is awesome. I also have an earlier start time which is nice, and my work equipment is so much nicer and taken care of than the other guy.

I developed granulations, had silver nitrate applied. It didnt even hurt at all.  My vagina has been very tight though. Lots of burning and painful getting the green one in.  Still sore and swollen. Taking ibuprofen for pain.  Scars on the left side are starting to heal and fade nicely, but the right side is taking its sweet time.  Still getting between 4-5 dots, but I have to work for it.  I go to 2 dilations a day on May 29th. That will last for 3 months.

Not much else to report.  Everything else is going according to plan.

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ooooooh I almost forgot, after filing a civil rights discrimination complaint w/ DORA and CO Div. of Ins. Cigna has agreed to reinburse me for my breast augmentation surgery, so I will be getting a check for the $5200 I paid out of pocket.

Thanks for paving the way for others . . .   

so I got the check and paid the $5200 immediately to the finance company. still have $600 in interest to pay off but whatever.

the past 2 months has been rather unpleasant.  Lots of soreness, granulations, irritated red tissue.  Sometimes while sitting at work I just go completely numb in the afternoons.  Dilating was downright brutal. I didnt even want to touch my vagina with a finger it was so tender and sore. [emoji22][emoji20]

I had more silver nitrate done and it didnt feel too good.

Dilations were hitting 4.5 and 4 dots respectively before all that started but now back to 4 dots and 3 dots.

Mentally am not in a good place right now.  The soreness and trouble dilating is frustrating and its wearing on me.

Aesthetically, I'm making progress but I thought I'd be healed by now and things would look right and they dont. Dr. Rumer looked at pics and said everything is healing find and the progress is good, but I cant help but have my doubts.

I have a skype with facial team in the morning, but I think it will ve a few years before another procedure.  This one has mentally taken a lot more out of me off the back end of the recovery. I need to give my body time to recuperate before I go doing anything else.

Quote from: audreytn on March 01, 2017, 03:27:03 PM
Today has been a whirlwind.  Mainly not dependent on my pain meds anymore.  Havent really taken anything today except my anti-biotics. Not really in much pain. Just soreness and stiffness.

I got my drains, cathether, stitches and packings out. 

Then I was shown how to do my dilations.  Afterwards, I was blessedly allowed a nice hot shower to let the water and soap just run down my body but not to scrub or wash any of my surgical areas.

I've done two dilations today. One more coming up at 5 pm. Not painful, but more uncomfortable.


these are my dilators.  They help keep things from caving in on top of themselves.

There are skin grafts on the inside that makeup the inside of my vagina and so its living tissue that tries to heal itself from the inside out. So thats why we dilate.

I'm using the blue for 10 minutes then the green for 10 minutes, 4 times a day and going till the 3rd dot disappears. This is what they directed me do



I'll receive instructions about my breast implants tomorrow and the rest of the maintenance/healing process.

Just about 36 hours till I am headed home and I'm looking forward to that.



so far so good!

Where is the orange one the biggest one

Quote from: jujubes1986 on November 10, 2017, 11:46:49 PM
Where is the orange one the biggest one

I was never given that one. The green one is big enough for me! About splits me in half every time I dilate. [emoji15]

You can order the orange one from Soul Source. Make sure you get the curved one for MTF. Cis gender dilators are straight.

Dilating is tough but it gets better in time. When my scar tissue contracted it was very painful to dilate. You can ask for prescription strength hydroquarterzone cream and if that does not stretch out the scar tissue then ask for a estrogen cream prescription. I wish I thought about using a little numbing cream that I used for electrolysis on the dilator next to the larger one I was using. Then the larger dilator would not have hurt as much.