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Significant other :)

Started by Lilly3, March 17, 2017, 07:59:18 PM

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Lilly3

Staying with my girlfriend this last few days ( we went to a Cyndi lauper and Blondie concert! Woohoo! )

On a different topic, we were chatting at home one night and ended up googling my partners name.. We found that someone had been taking her Facebook pictures and uploading them to a public Pinterest folder.. A folder dedicated to her name and labelled "inspirational transgender women"
(At least they were only taking the nice "out to dinner" style photos and not some of the sexier poses and costumes she also shares amongst friends)

I think it's quite common to make a folder of people you find inspirational.. I know myself and Savannah often screenshot women or styles we like and keep them in a folder on our phone for reference.
But taking someone's photos and uploading them to a different social media site in a public folder, is a bit different to keeping them for your own reference.... :/


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Lilly3

We are currently in Spain for Facial feminisation surgery, my poor girlfriend is still recovering, but you can watch our time with Facial Team on Savannah's channel if you like

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCkP9YXrdxDDgxXErMb50PJw


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reallynotsure83

Hi Lilly, I must say you and your partner are a really cute couple - Can I ask did she ever have doubts if she passes? Because admittedly, if I walked past her in the street I would not even begin to guess that's how fab she looks.  ;D

Can I ask if you guys met before or after she began to transition?

Reason why I ask is that I've been having some real doubts about myself for a little while now and I think they're a bit too big to simply sweep under the rug.

One of my biggest concerns is that I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman for 8 years (in 2 weeks nonetheless) and up until now have never gave off that I'm anything other than her cis straight male other half. She's really amazing but I do believe she would see herself as a "red blooded "straight woman and am so scared I'd lose her if she thought I'm anything other than what I am. She says she likes that I currently look "rugged" with a nearly shaven head, tattoos, beard etc so to say being anything other would put her off is an understatement.

Thank you, and good luck to your amazing lady - I'm sure she'll be fine.  :)
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Raell

You guys are so cute and inspirational!

I just finished watching Season 1 of Sense8. I LOVE the lesbian couple in the series-transwoman Jamie Clayton's character, Nomi, and her girlfriend, Amanita, and the authentic shots of the San Francisco Dyke March included in the show.

Media that includes positive LGBTQ characters helps chip away at bigotry.

I'm an asexual nontransitioning, nonbinary, partial transmale. I look like a petite female and dress androgynously.


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Lilly3

@reallynotsure83 she does ask me every now and then if I think she passes, I of course reassure her that I think she is beautiful.

Unfortunately, somehow she still manages to get misgendered at restaurants sometimes, which I think is really odd.. I mean.. hello.. boobs [emoji15] and she dresses so feminine so I don't understand.
I think it's just subconscious for some people when serving a table to use sir maybe..

I met her when she was still in her androgynous stages, before her public transition. When she was with me she always dressed up feminine, but day to day she still worked as a man, that was a year and a half ago now, this year has been a year of many surgeries for her to look the way she wants to look and to feel comfortable in herself.
Many of the surgeries people say she doesn't need, as she had a great figure anyway, but she wants to let her inner butterfly out of its cocoon, and the feminisation surgeries help with that.


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Lilly3

@reallynotsure83
I'm a lesbian... and I fell for her, because I saw the woman she was, even when she was in androgynous mode without makeup etc
But she had been living part time as Savannah for many years.

It's true that some long term relationships can't last through transition though.. and I think that's just something that can't be avoided, if the woman you are with identifies as heterosexual... chances are a relationship won't be able to continue.
Savannah and her ex wife are friends, but her ex identified as a heterosexual woman, and was not interested in a relationship with a woman.

So if those are the features your partner of 8 years likes about you... it's very possible the relationship won't last. It's worth a try, but sometimes you have to weigh up what you want for yourself, and the possibilities the future may hold if you are true to yourself.

I never would have been attracted to, or have met Savannah if she hadn't transitioned.



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Rachel_Christina

Misgender at a Restaurant when your cleaned up clearly feminine, sounds like plain up ignorance to me, showing what their​ personal views is all they are at. Slap dem!


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ainsley

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on May 09, 2017, 12:51:17 PM
Misgender at a Restaurant when your cleaned up clearly feminine, sounds like plain up ignorance to me, showing what their​ personal views is all they are at. Slap dem!

Yes, that would set off my wife.  She does not tolerate that sort of thing happening to me.  Which, of course, I make no attempt to stop. lol  I sit back and watch her in action.
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

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Lilly3

If it's not intentional or malicious, Savannah just lets it go most of the time, and talks to me about it later.
Also it can be said so quickly or you hardly hear the "sir" amongst the sentence.. it takes you a minute to think, did they just say that?
If it is clear, or said more than once, or there is a pause where it is able to pull them up, then we do. But most of the time they are just serving tables and don't even notice themselves.

Heck, just last month I was at the service station and standing in a line of men, when I got to the counter the woman said Sir to me. .. and I know that's obviously because she has just said sir to the last 5 people in a row etc. I told Savannah about it too since she had recently had another resturant misgender experience. It was kind of funny.

If it's done clearly and numerous times, we sure as heck would stand up to that.


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Raell

They can't get rid of English gender-specific pronouns fast enough for me!

I'm spoiled from living in Thailand.
Here, people gender themselves with reflexive pronouns as they speak, but pronouns are seldom used.
"Kow" can mean either gender (him or her/he or she), and most people use age pronouns- "pee," for older,   or "nong," for younger- in place of either gender pronouns or names.

For example,  "Pee told me to come."

"Koon" is used instead of Mr. or Mrs., and nongender-specific nicknames used instead of names. I.e., "Koon Dome wants to come also."
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reallynotsure83

@lilly3 I think it's true what you say in that people like who/what they like and sometimes, we just need to accept that even if it hurts. I do know that I can't keep secrets forever, and one day I may just have to "woman up" and have that convo.
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