Hey all, this is just a thread I wanted to do. Its about sharing our first day (re-born day) as our trueselves 🙂

Ashley was finally born on Monday, May 12 2014 in Petawawa Ontario! To be honest, i recall i was dressing as a female and think i deicded after feeling damn good that day was going to be my day. I ripped if off like a band-aide (i already came out to most people at work the month prior so everyone knew). I remember going out at riding around the town on my bike, all dressed up as myself and actually felt very revived. I biked my heart away going up and down streets and such and biking down the Emerald Necklace Trail... then I got hungry and went to Pizza Hut and devoured a large pizza .. hey dont judge, when you been locked up for 20 years you get hungry plus i did a lot of biking, heart was a pumping... a girls gotta eat

Anyone else care to share their first day as theirselves ?

 Hey Ashley,

  Why do you ask these difficult questions. I'm not sure I could pin a day down. Can you define what are you looking for when you say "first day (re-born day) as our true selves"?
   Laurie is what a week maybe 2 old. Jeanette has been around in various incarnations for a long time. I've been dressing even longer.
  Thinking about it now I doubt I can give a date. (never like dates anyway)

Hugs,
   Laurie

Lol yes! I meant to say as the first day of living as your real gender/coming out day... In 2014 I was actually going by the name Chloe :O!.. then in summer 2015 i was like, hey If I was born correctly my name would of had infact been Ashley. So I changed it. Almsot all my friends i talked to (the ones i mad after coming out) were delighted by the Ashley choice! They said it suits me and my best friend atm said she likes it way more as she things Chloe is an annoying name.. I still like that name, but it isnt me.. it was cutesy.. to cutesy 😉

Okay Ashley,

  That gets me off the hook. I got a name (that just may stay). I've come out to several people, but more to do still. I haven't started living as Laurie yet.  That means my date is still to come. LOL

Hugs,
   Laurie

Quote from: Laurie on May 09, 2017, 09:43:14 PM
Okay Ashley,

  That gets me off the hook. I got a name (that just may stay). I've come out to several people, but more to do still. I haven't started living as Laurie yet.  That means my date is still to come. LOL

Hugs,
   Laurie

I personally cant wait to hear all about that day !

Hugs-Ashley!

Quote from: SailorMars1994 on May 09, 2017, 09:45:52 PM
I personally cant wait to hear all about that day !

Hugs-Ashley!

  I'm sure you will. (if you stick around long enough)

Hugs and more Hugs Ashley,
  Laurie

I think everyone has a little bit different definition of what they consider their reborn day.  For some it's the day they came out, for others when they started HRT, for others it was the day they began full time and for still others it's the day they completed GRS.

I'll share the story of my coming out as I think it is the one I'm not sure I've ever really shared in full on these boards.  February 14, 2017. Yes that's right, Valentine's day.  At this point I had already come out to my wife as transgender in some fashion.  I was still exploring with my therapist trying to determine if I was truly gender fluid as I thought or if I was still in denial of my female identity.  Also by this point, my wife was already really struggling to deal with my gender crisis and her moods were a constant roller coaster.  So that night we went out to dinner at one of our favorite steak and seafood places. We had a great night.  Drank some wine, had great surf and turf and the night was going super well.  Then out of nowhere, she got this funny look on her face.  Against my better judgement I pried, asking her what was going on. At that point she looking at me with tears in her eyes and told me she was really feeling distant from me and missed the "old" me.  Well that set us on a course of extremely emotional conversation that had even our waitress worried about what was going on (never a good sign I guess when you ask your table if they want dessert and both are crying as they give you their order).

The whole ride home was equally as difficult.  We talked about my dysphoria, what it felt like, what the triggers were.  She talked about missing the man that she had, our perfect high school sweet heart marriage and how all our friends were so jealous of what we had.  She talked about being lonely and how no one she knows can really help because none of them know what she's going through.  The conversation continued even as we went to bed.  We were up late talking, crying, holding each other and going through all our feelings.  Around 2:30 AM, it all came crashing down. She said to me, "Why is it I just have this feeling that what you really need to do is transition and become a woman".  I laid silent for a moment and it hit me like a ton of bricks, she was right.  My simple response was "Because it is". She broke down worse than I've ever seen.  We ended up being up until 5:00 talking, she poured over how she just wanted me to be happy but could stand to know that she's losing her man.  I apologized that I kept this buried for so long and didn't come to terms with it sooner. We both cried a river and finally fell asleep holding each other.

So that was it.  I know it's probably not the happy inspiring story you were looking for, but that is my reality.  Sorry if that's a total downer for y'all.

That was a very sweet and inspiring story.  I really hope you two can find ways to make things work.  Its sad that so often I see either the spouse or the trans decide to end it after all the years spent together.  Even if its just close friends..

My coming out is lost in the ether of time.  I (think) I started transitioning around 21 years old, though I had been fighting it since I was 4  when I first started wearing my moms stuff, and hanging out with the girls my age instead of the boys.  Once I embraced the reality that I was a girl with a birth defect, I went full speed ahead, never looking back.  I don't remember the 'exact' day though.. I do remember putting a wig on & going out in public to a steak house restaurant.  I think generally people either mammed me or avoided using gender identifiers even from day 1. Very rarely would they use other words... but even so even knowing someone avoided it would sadden & depress me.

I'm in my mid 40's now, though you wouldn't guess it looking at my face.  I've had very hard times and very good times... one just has to realize that there will be both and it does get better.  Just hang in there. 

Quote from: AlyssaJ on May 09, 2017, 10:14:17 PM
I think everyone has a little bit different definition of what they consider their reborn day.  For some it's the day they came out, for others when they started HRT, for others it was the day they began full time and for still others it's the day they completed GRS.

I'll share the story of my coming out as I think it is the one I'm not sure I've ever really shared in full on these boards.  February 14, 2017. Yes that's right, Valentine's day.  At this point I had already come out to my wife as transgender in some fashion.  I was still exploring with my therapist trying to determine if I was truly gender fluid as I thought or if I was still in denial of my female identity.  Also by this point, my wife was already really struggling to deal with my gender crisis and her moods were a constant roller coaster.  So that night we went out to dinner at one of our favorite steak and seafood places. We had a great night.  Drank some wine, had great surf and turf and the night was going super well.  Then out of nowhere, she got this funny look on her face.  Against my better judgement I pried, asking her what was going on. At that point she looking at me with tears in her eyes and told me she was really feeling distant from me and missed the "old" me.  Well that set us on a course of extremely emotional conversation that had even our waitress worried about what was going on (never a good sign I guess when you ask your table if they want dessert and both are crying as they give you their order).

The whole ride home was equally as difficult.  We talked about my dysphoria, what it felt like, what the triggers were.  She talked about missing the man that she had, our perfect high school sweet heart marriage and how all our friends were so jealous of what we had.  She talked about being lonely and how no one she knows can really help because none of them know what she's going through.  The conversation continued even as we went to bed.  We were up late talking, crying, holding each other and going through all our feelings.  Around 2:30 AM, it all came crashing down. She said to me, "Why is it I just have this feeling that what you really need to do is transition and become a woman".  I laid silent for a moment and it hit me like a ton of bricks, she was right.  My simple response was "Because it is". She broke down worse than I've ever seen.  We ended up being up until 5:00 talking, she poured over how she just wanted me to be happy but could stand to know that she's losing her man.  I apologized that I kept this buried for so long and didn't come to terms with it sooner. We both cried a river and finally fell asleep holding each other.

So that was it.  I know it's probably not the happy inspiring story you were looking for, but that is my reality.  Sorry if that's a total downer for y'all.

Appreciate your post AlyssaJ. I feel for you and others that have had to deal with such hard relationship issues. Best wishes and keep moving forward! We have to be who we are or no one in our lives will be happy, including ourselves. It takes great courage to walk the path you are on. *hugs* .. I salute you sister.

To the OP (Hi Sailor!:, I think for many the "birthday" is when you start HRT. However, for me, it was more of a process. I think my birthday was many years ago, when I bought my first dress, and some make-up, and I felt I was home. I literally felt I had found my true self. It all felt so natural. The male stuff felt like being a poser, the first dress was profound ... I was finally expressing who I really was. So, my re-born date was when I wore my first dress and knew that it fit perfectly, in every possible way.

I would have a hard time picking a date, there are so many.

Actually, I'm having a hard time with the idea of being reborn.
I can't say that I "became" Allison.  I've always been me.  It's just that for so long, I locked up the real me inside, where nobody could hurt me.  The past 10+ years have been a gradual process of letting that me out, bit by bit, and of the real me learning how to interact with the world.  Transition has for me been less a process of transforming myself than a process of changing my gender citizenship, so to speak.

Some milestones:

* August 2004 -- separated from my wife.  Realized that if I hoped to have any will to live, I would have to stop worrying about what other people thought I should be and start figuring out who I am.  The start of the journey.
* 2004--2013 -- saw myself as "gender non-conforming male," gradually experimented with and got used to going out wearing skirts.
* September 2013 -- read Zinnia Jones' blog post "That was dysphoria?" which led me to consider that I might be trans.
* 2014? -- My "inner oracle" (rather smugly 🙂 ) told me I was going to transition.  No details, though.
* Jan. 2015 -- Decided on the name Allison instead of Melanie.
* Nov. 2015 -- started HRT.
* March 2016 -- came out to my church, started finding support people (mainly people who are willing to listen to me when I'm freaking out.)  It started Getting Real.
* August 2016 -- spent a week at a music and dance camp being Allison 24/7.
* Oct/Nov. 2016 -- legal name change.
* Dec.  2016 -- stopped using <deadname>
* Jan. 2017 -- started going to work as Allison.

I haven't socially transitioned yet but the most pivotal date for me was my divorce date.  I didn't know it at the time but that is the date my male self died.  I had everything the male version of me could want a wife, kids, dog, and house.  It was just that we were not happy and I never felt at ease.  I struggled for a while trying to find a balance between being "male" and something else.  Nothing seemed to fit and I spent a lot of time being conflicted with myself.  I had already tried the "male" thing and failed and didn't see a "male" future for myself.  I would still have my dysphoria but in addition to that I would always mourn the loss of my past life.  Changing something seemed/seems like the only rational option to me.

Hmm, it's hard to pick a date.  When I first came out to my wife?  A very significant moment, to be sure, and the beginning of this journey.  The first time I dressed en femme in public?  Also a major milestone.  First day of HRT?  Technically significant, but it's hard to put a lot of significance, other than symbolic, on popping a pill or sticking on a patch.

I think the emotionally meaningful date for me would be April 20th, 2017, my first day full-time.  It was really only then that I started to feel liberated from the shackles of having to present as male.  The other changes that I am starting to feel started then. 

For example, I enjoy not having women react as though I am someone to be afraid of.  That is a pretty subtle thing, and it was easy to overlook while I was presenting male, but I am suddenly aware that it's gone now.  I enjoy being able to make eye contact and smile at a total stranger, just because we are both women.

No longer having to put on my physical male armour (i.e. my boy clothes), I no longer feel the need for my mental armour.

Think I was reborn when I admitted to myself who I really was back in my early teens but knew something was up way before then but only telling my wife in the last few months so really I,m just a trans baby.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories! I give great respect to them and hopefully, a newbie transitioner will be able to read these maybe and take something away of what it feels like (hopefully, the good lol)