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Kinda over thinking something that happened today

Started by Angélique LaCava, April 26, 2017, 12:45:59 PM

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Wild Flower

Quote from: RandyL on April 26, 2017, 06:26:19 PM
Could also have been a dare among themselves, "talk to the next chick who walks by" and they giggled when the guy did it.

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If this was the pre-2000s, and they were early to mid teens. That would fly.

A group of grown men don't normally do that unless they are drunk, and it's 11 pm to 4 a.m. in the morning, and it usually follows by catcalls.

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I think one of the guys said, "That's a man", and just wanted to hear your voice.
"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."
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Rebecca

Could just as easily be one having a crush shared with his friends and them laughing at his smoothness.

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kelly_aus

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on April 26, 2017, 12:45:59 PM
So today I walked past a group of guys, one of them said hey to me while having a bit of a smirk on his face and when I mouthed hey back without really making a sound they all started giggling.
Does that mean they knew I was transgender?

Of course they did. The whole world knows you are trans..

Seriously, they probably had no clue. I'm far from what's considered by many on this site to be passable and yet I just get on with my life and have very few issues. I don't assume because someone looked at me that they've clocked me - in fact, the only group of people I've had issues with clocking me is other trans people.. Cis people, in my experience, don't go out looking for trans people and often don't notice the one standing right in front of them. Confidence is key and it's something you seem to lack. A lack of confidence can be seen and it's something bullies and assh*les look for.

I'll make a suggestion, stop looking at yourself as a trans woman and start looking at yourself as just a woman - like the millions of other women on the planet.
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Angélique LaCava

Quote from: Wild Flower on April 26, 2017, 11:18:48 PM
If this was the pre-2000s, and they were early to mid teens. That would fly.

A group of grown men don't normally do that unless they are drunk, and it's 11 pm to 4 a.m. in the morning, and it usually follows by catcalls.

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I think one of the guys said, "That's a man", and just wanted to hear your voice.
they didn't hear my voice though because I basically only mouthed hey back, I didn't make a sound.
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JeanetteLW

Hi Angelique,

  I agree with your first thought "Kinda over thinking something that happened today"

With your looks, you're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Hugs,
Jeanette
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Rebecca

From your pics you are stunning Angélique but I know you don't feel it or believe us which isn't going to change no matter what anyone says.

That in mind I can assure you it is not an empty compliment nor given lightly. I still have a lot of leftover transphobic BS in my head and basically you breeze through those barriers to be seen as simply hot. That's not easy given I knew you were trans before seeing your pics.

Many born women would body swap you if they could so it's not a looks thing (if anything). Like someone posted before I'd rather be trans and beautiful than cis and ugly - a sentiment I agree with. I'm shallow but honest about it.

Like Kelly says confidence is a factor and it can seriously screw with your aura setting off alarm bells everywhere. Before I scare you the alarm bells aren't for being trans just a woman in distress.

Early on my confidence was strangely very high but at first even my daughter was nervous on my behalf when going out.

I gave her a wee test we split up for bit so she could observe me and how others acted around me. As a result she noticed lots of people looking at her but barely noticing me.

I could read her a mile away of course and explained it all to her after. Your feelings are projected and picked up by others. To some it's more like they notice an unheard sound but if someone is attuned to you they can pick up so much more. You can mask it but it's better overall to forget you were ever trans and just live.

It sounds essentially like you need a mega confidence boost but I don't have the slightest idea how to do that.

Just wish I were able to see you then I could give you an honest read but from pics alone I wouldn't see you being read as trans.

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alex82

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on April 27, 2017, 05:07:04 AM
they didn't hear my voice though because I basically only mouthed hey back, I didn't make a sound.

Don't bother in future. Just walk on by.

I don't know why you care about a couple of sleazes on the street.

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Rees1281

Quote from: Jerrica on April 27, 2017, 03:35:29 AM
Could just as easily be one having a crush shared with his friends and them laughing at his smoothness.

This is the most likely scenario.
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ana1111

I worry about incidents like this all the time....it sucks never knowing!! No one ever says sir or anything but when something like this happen it makes you wonder... Probably not clocking though in my opinion just guys flirting maybe surprised you responded try not to obsess over these things or it can erode your mind
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Frae

Yup this is standard issue being hit on!


Seriously I have the same thing. Never too sure if I had been clocked or if I was getting hit on!

But I figured out the difference pretty fast! Trust me you know if they clocked you. Because it generally isn't nice.

But just saying "Hi" to a girl as they pass is a time old guy trick. They no doubt laughed because it obviously caught you off guard! Guys are like that. I used to hang out with a guy in the long time ago who did it to pretty girls he passed.
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DawnOday

Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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Angélique LaCava

Quote from: DawnOday on May 13, 2017, 04:15:54 PM
I particularly like this picture
thats a 3 year old picture lol. That was before hormones.
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DawnOday

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on May 13, 2017, 04:33:27 PM
thats a 3 year old picture lol. That was before hormones.
It only proves my point. If you were that good looking three years ago. You are even better now. Personally I find you are a caring. sweet, somewhat naive, very attractive woman. It's their loss not yours. Keep your chin up. You're a winner don't forget that. 
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

If you have a a business or service that supports our community please submit for our Links Page.

First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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Wednesday

Quote from: Annabolton on May 09, 2017, 12:48:00 AM
Probably not clocking though in my opinion just guys flirting maybe surprised you responded try not to obsess over these things or it can erode your mind

I think the same. Being mid to late 20s and just giggling after your reply doesnt sound like clocking/bullying.
"Witches were a bit like cats" - Terry Pratchett
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Nora Kayte

Oh come on!!! You are absolutely stunning. You walked by he said hey, you mouthed hey back and they giggled. Who wouldn't giggle if you gave them the time of day. Just brings back high school memories of me and my friends doing the same thing to hot girls. You made his day by responding and he did what any normal guy would have. I have this one friend that would do the same thing. Say hey to hot girls. He did what any guy would. Look to his friends for approval and celebrate the fact that you acknowledged him with the giggle.


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Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
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rose

For safety Everyone should Avoid Walking in place Were there is Group of guys
No matter if you're trans or cis girl
And if you have to walk cross them walk fast and ignores them completely


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Chenji

Even groups of 20-something males do stupid things.  Relax and move on, he probably just got embarrassed because a girl talked to him.

And no, you don't need to avoid groups of guys, don't be silly.
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Cimara

Looking at your pictures I seriously doubt they outed you.  As many others have said it most likely was a dare or some other such nonsense. One of them could have told the others he thought you were cute and then another said hi to you to embarrass him. When it comes to a pretty girl a group of younger males can act just as stupid and giggly as a group of school girls mooning over a hot guy.
Born 1989
Transitioned 2001
Began hrt 2001
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rose

Quote from: Chenji on May 17, 2017, 08:39:32 AM

no, you don't need to avoid groups of guys, don't be silly.

That apply Only if you were from the lucky few who live in safe place and friendly environment for LGBT+ / cis women

But if you were in place of danger avoid groups
I know a lot of trans/cis girls who get assault beaten etc by group of guys including myself
Specially if you were pretty
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