So a little backstory when i was 13 i ran away from home and went to live with my dad back then i was just some scared kid that didnt know what he was just that he was different and even so nowhere place called new parks that was bad. So I ran from my problems as always. But back to the story at hand I just got outed, it was my own fault really I told my dad that i had to go to the doctors and being the occasionaly over protective ->-bleeped-<- that he is he asked me why, and thats when I realised I was ->-bleeped-<-ed truely and utterly ->-bleeped-<-ed. You see my dad and I have few things in common are ability to bottle up emotions and our detremination in a fight. And after about 20 minutes of shouting of him shouting at me he starts listing of problems like am I gay, have I got someone pregnant, and then he hits the damn spot, DO YOU WANT TO BE A WOMAN and in a split second before I even think I scream yes I want to be a woman and his face just went white as it could and in that second he rejected me and stormed off upstairs and I shut the door cried for about five minutes downed half a bottle of vodka and walked out for peace and more drink and here I am drinking like a slob on a park in the middle of nowhere ready to go to that dark place, a place where everyone is welcome

It takes time for those close to us to process this, it's still a little taboo in our society even though it's getting more focus lately, they've got their own feelings to sort out about it, I'd give it some time, if he asks any questions no matter how uneducated on the matter answer them matter of factly, and of course mention gender dysphoria, and any other terms he can Google that'll keep him out of right wing crackpot land.

Well you've probably always wanted to tell him.  He knows now, so you've actually accomplished something.  You may be anguishing over the rejection but as was previously stated a lot of times family takes time to adjust.

Remember you won't have to worry about telling him anymore.  You're worried what life has in store for you but I'm guessing your previous life wasn't so great. 

Your father may be mad right now, but you should be proud of yourself.
I hope this is the start of good things for you.
Paige

I know how difficult it is to come out and show your true self to people.
You feel so vulnerable and exposed but there is also that feeling of relief
of getting something off of your shoulders. Hang in there - it will take
time for the people you love to come to terms with the real you.

***Update***

So a day an a half on my dad still rejectes every notion of my being and has subsequently kicked me me out and to try and rub it has told most of the family that will still talk to him. But after a few hours of moping, drinking and feeling like utter ->-bleeped-<- I ended up stumbling to my mom's house. Fast forward a few hours of sleep and throwing up, we end up a something I dreaded happening she asks why I was in the state that I was and me being the repressive, scared ->-bleeped-<- that I am sometimes I shut down tried to close everything off to keep from being rejected again but as the morning goes on she like my dad tried to take guess's at what is wrong (because they now that I have been trying to get something of my chest for a few weeks now) and she gets it right and she acts like its just a cough that Ive got and in that moment I just break down and hug her. At this point she asks me why I so scared to tell her and I tell her what my dad and grandad had said about it and me in the several fights that we had, had over the previous day and through most of the night and whilst my mum and dad have never liked each other much I have never seen my mom have such anger and hate towards him and as much as I hated see my mum like that It was also nice to be defended like that. But now that I have been accepted by my mum and step dad I have this strength and confidence that is just so nice and warm (its sort of hard to describe).

We have also agreed never to hid things like this from each other and to deal with our emotions more openly and to stop bottling thing up. We have also agreed that it would be better to wait a little bit before telling my brother and sisters and that as long as I cut down the drinking to social occasions that I can sleep at there's.

So happy ending are real apprently.
Also thanks for the support.
Stay strong and proud.

Quote from: FIR3F7Y on May 12, 2017, 06:16:36 PM
***Update***

So a day an a half on my dad still rejectes every notion of my being and has subsequently kicked me me out and to try and rub it has told most of the family that will still talk to him. But after a few hours of moping, drinking and feeling like utter ->-bleeped-<- I ended up stumbling to my mom's house. Fast forward a few hours of sleep and throwing up, we end up a something I dreaded happening she asks why I was in the state that I was and me being the repressive, scared ->-bleeped-<- that I am sometimes I shut down tried to close everything off to keep from being rejected again but as the morning goes on she like my dad tried to take guess's at what is wrong (because they now that I have been trying to get something of my chest for a few weeks now) and she gets it right and she acts like its just a cough that Ive got and in that moment I just break down and hug her. At this point she asks me why I so scared to tell her and I tell her what my dad and grandad had said about it and me in the several fights that we had, had over the previous day and through most of the night and whilst my mum and dad have never liked each other much I have never seen my mom have such anger and hate towards him and as much as I hated see my mum like that It was also nice to be defended like that. But now that I have been accepted by my mum and step dad I have this strength and confidence that is just so nice and warm (its sort of hard to describe).

We have also agreed never to hid things like this from each other and to deal with our emotions more openly and to stop bottling thing up. We have also agreed that it would be better to wait a little bit before telling my brother and sisters and that as long as I cut down the drinking to social occasions that I can sleep at there's.

So happy ending are real apprently.
Also thanks for the support.
Stay strong and proud.

So glad things are turning out for you. Your mom sounds like a great person. 

Paige

I am glad to hear that things are starting to look up, and that you have some support within the family.

I literally have tears in my eyes (E can cause you do that you know ).

Give you mom a great big hug.  I didn't look at your profile but in the U.S. today is Mother's day.  Where we show our appreciation towards our mothers.  Your's is special - give her two big hugs.

I absolutely and truly hope that things get better for you. They will, you know. If you hang on long enough to let them. So stay strong, stay resolute and remember tomorrow is another day. Oh yeah,.......and punctuation is you friend.

So things got better for you. That's great!! Congrats on starting your journey with your family's support.