Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

Obsessing about how to approach my mom about my questioning

Started by redhot1, May 17, 2017, 06:56:52 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

redhot1

I think I'm being over-obsessed about how to word my approach to mom about seeing a specialist for my gender questions. I know now that I never felt like a girl since I was very little and not "typical" trans. I wonder if she will interrupt my "script" with certain questions I won't be prepared for. Also, my parents have recently told me to stop reading the internet as it is an anxiety trigger for me. How can I convince her?

I am somewhere on the spectrum, I at least had interest in crossdressing. My regular counselor assures me that my mom wouldn't throw me out of the house for this, even in the worst scenario, and she saw my mom before. But I don't want to bring up the term "crossdressing" at first because it seems even more "deviant" than being trans.

Please help me overcome this. I no longer want to post on an internet forum.
  •  

SailorMars1994

My word of advice? dont script anything. Be prepared yes, but allow the lips to move to what the heart is putting out. Doing this you will get better acceptance from both her and you for yourself. A lot of trans people didnt know when they were little, took me a while to understand that actually happens. In my personal case I remember wishing I could be a girl, but during those years of 3,4,5 ect i cant say I was dysphoric at the birth gender or that I must have been a girl... just knew it be better to be one ;)

AMAB Born: March 1994
Gender became on radar: 2007
Admitted to self : 2010
Came out: May 12 2014
Estrogen: October 16 2015
<3
  •  

redhot1

Maybe I need to calm down and I'm putting the cart before the horse, but I don't know. I know I shouldn't have to have a specialist if I'm just crossdressing, but I want to ask a specialist where I draw the line and if I'm TG or just crossdressing?

Also, my family is very busy and has a lot going on. My sister got home from college this Summer, and it changes the environment a little. I have other appointments on hold too. There are also many obstacles standing in my way. I already have some physical challenges, how could I add this challenge to my mom's life at this time?
  •  

CarlyMcx

According to your other posts you've never actually crossdressed.  Instead, for two years you've periodically come on to this forum and over and over again said in various ways, "Maybe I'm transgender, maybe I'm just a crossdresser."

You need to see a gender therapist not in order to "be transgender" or to get hormones (which I think is where you are going by saying you don't need a therapist if you are a crossdresser).

You need a therapist in order to resolve the question of where you are on the gender spectrum once and for all so that you don't spend the rest of your life obsessing about it.
  •  

redhot1

Yeah, so are you still saying I should see a specialist?

So I am getting tired of posting anything myself, anyway.
  •  

Sarah77

Agree with need for therapist before parent chat.
My therapist is making me accept some tough love.

She said to me today to accept I am a man.
She asked me to address what I hate about being a man.
I think she then wants to nullify those feelings because I've so much to lose otherwise.

It has me very down..but I think I know what she's doing.

So maybe don't op that can of worms until you are sure. Then it will come much easier
  •  

redhot1

I have many additional obstacles I need to overcome. It ducks. For example, I can't/don't drive, and my only option is a crappy door-to-door transportation service. I don't know the proper procedure of things. I don't think life is worth living for anything anymore because I have too many obstacles because of my disabilities.
  •  

CarlyMcx

I am saying that you should see a specialist.  What do you have to lose, really?  According to your other posts you are 25 years old, unemployed and living with your parents, you do not have any friends to speak of, and these are your words from your own posts.  So what changes if you come out as transgender?

The only relationships you have to worry about are with your parents, and if they are not going to throw you out of their house, then what is there to worry about?  Tell them you need to see a gender therapist.  Get the job done and over with.

There are only two possible outcomes:  Either you are not transgender, and you can put two years of indecisiveness behind you, go hang out in the crossdresser forums, or go pursue some manly hobbies or interests and stop worrying about this.  Or, you are transgender, and you can discover the happiness of hormone therapy, the agonizing pain of facial hair removal, the fun of buying women's clothing and having it fit on your body properly, the pleasure of making up a pretty face in the mirror, and the joy of being gendered female and treated as female by others.

But you are not doing anyone any good, least of all yourself, by hanging your life up at the precise point just before that diagnosis needs to be made.  You've spent two years obsessing over this.  If you really don't like how that feels, then  there is an easy way to fix that -- see the gender therapist.


  •  

Raell

I like these Sense8 quotes:

-"Nothing changes if we keep playing it safe".

-"Pretending isn't a life".

-"There's nothing more frightening than having a dream come true".

-"From queer to eternity".
  •