My doctor already thinks I am messed up, suffering from a laundry list of symptoms but no diagnosis.
Especially  when it comes down to inside my head I have several voices fighting for who is me all, and right now the woman inside made it to the top. It just seems crazy that there are voices inside my head that are all me but different mes.


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I am not a mental health professional nor do I know much about your situation.  However, while maybe a gender identity situation might complicate things, it could also possibly explain a lot of your undiagnosed symptoms, couldn't it?

Yes it could I have looked up a little but not to much I don't want to self diagnose, and I never talk about it because it is not schizophrenia, split personality, or MPD but comes close to that one.

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And my mom made me afraid of psycdoctors

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I would like to add - my psychiatrist (yes my gender therapist is a psychiatrist - so that should give you some idea about how messed up I was to start with) has told me that you cannot go through the mental anguish that a transgender person goes through without it affecting you.

With me, they never really understood the cause for anxiety and depression despite 10 years of treating the symptoms, but once I revealed my secret of being transgender things just started to click on to place.

Sometimes you have to lay everything on the table to allow the professionals to make the most accurate assessment.

I hope all goes well for you

Take care
Steph

Thank you

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Just remember this phrase. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than to have a frontal lobotomy.

That is true and I hate drinking

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If the doctor is helping you with your other problems I see no reason not to add this to the plate, it could be relevant to other symptoms, but probably not all of them.

I only talked to a doctor about depression and only saw her once before she just gave me meds

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It was an impatient thing

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Just keep in mind, all those voices in your head are your voices. Only you can decide which ones to listen to and which ones to act on. Think ahead a little. Is a voice telling you to do something that you may regret later?

At one point I had symptoms somewhat similar to the ones you describe, Zquence.  I was diagnosed with two different dissociative disorders at different times.  In my case, I got that way because of severe childhood abuse.  I chose to deal with only the abuse issues for many years.  I thought that when I finally got well, the gender identity stuff would go away.  In reality, it got worse.  I now wish that I had spent at least some energy working on the gender dysphoria while I worked out the abuse stuff. 

I can't say whether it would be a good idea for you to transition at this point--you may need to get a better sense of your internal system as a whole before you make any permanent changes.  It might be good to consider yourself genderfluid for now, and dress and present yourself in whatever way feels best on any given day. 

I'm really glad to hear that you have a therapist.  Don't be afraid of psyche professionals.  They work for you.  If one is treating you badly, or if they just aren't helping, go and find another one.  A good therapist can make all the difference.     

Quote from: The Flying Lemur on May 21, 2017, 12:41:11 PM
At one point I had symptoms somewhat similar to the ones you describe, Zquence.  I was diagnosed with two different dissociative disorders at different times.  In my case, I got that way because of severe childhood abuse.  I chose to deal with only the abuse issues for many years.  I thought that when I finally got well, the gender identity stuff would go away.  In reality, it got worse.  I now wish that I had spent at least some energy working on the gender dysphoria while I worked out the abuse stuff. 

I can't say whether it would be a good idea for you to transition at this point--you may need to get a better sense of your internal system as a whole before you make any permanent changes.  It might be good to consider yourself genderfluid for now, and dress and present yourself in whatever way feels best on any given day. 

I'm really glad to hear that you have a therapist.  Don't be afraid of psyche professionals.  They work for you.  If one is treating you badly, or if they just aren't helping, go and find another one.  A good therapist can make all the difference.     

Thank you the I had a psychologist at an impatient facility, I want a therapists.

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I am a mess too. 10 years ago I realized I am transgender. 8 years ago I crashed hard in psychosis. It was a mix of gender dysphoria, childhood abuse and a feeling of losing control. I was admitted to psychiatric care (closed ward) for 6 months. I still hear voices but they are kept in control by medication.

I was afraid my psychiatrist would not take me seriously but she said "I have always seen you as male." When I told her about my gender problems.

One thing does not rule out another. Maybe you will need to work with all parts of yourself to find out who you really are. You are not your diagnose. You are a person.

A few people here mentioned childhood abuse. Count me in on this.

Something is very wrong when a 6 yer old boy is terrified of his own father.

Fathers are supposed to be a provider and protector, not a tyrant.

When I was 6 years old, nobody dared to intervene in family issues, no matter what.

Quote from: Dani on May 21, 2017, 06:06:47 PM
A few people here mentioned childhood abuse. Count me in on this.

Something is very wrong when a 6 yer old boy is terrified of his own father.

Fathers are supposed to be a provider and protector, not a tyrant.

When I was 6 years old, nobody dared to intervene in family issues, no matter what.

I was to afriad of him to tell cps they got called a few times, but I would never say anything

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It sounds like schizophrenia to me. I was diagnosed about 15 years ago as a paranoid schizophrenic. I've been on a whole host of medications over the years. there was a time I was on so much medication I was a zombie. I would sit, stare at the wall, and not know that time had passed until my wife got home and "woke me up". Even then I didn't notice much. I don't remember a lot of details from that period, but there's not much I can do about it now. And now, I am on a good dose of medication that keeps everything in check, and doesn't zombify me.

Not schizophrenia at all, they are all fragments of me, it has traits but not that

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Could it be Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or multiple personalities? From what I have been learning lately the condition is cause by serious childhood trauma. It can be treated and we have several members with DID on the site.