So after months of trying to convince my self that i could be happy from not transitioning I've come to relies that i  dont think i can. But now i feel like even if i transition i wont be happy. the reason being that i feel like transitioning will just make life lonely, i feel like ill never find a boyfriend,or girlfriend so ill just die alone, besides that the only thing i like to do and hat im good at(somewhat) is acting. but acting is already a nearly impossible job for a cis person ,and practically impossible for a transperson.  i cry every time i think of never being in another play . i dont know what to do. im going to be a senior next year and then its off to college. i just want to be happy (my definition=being able to wake up everyday and be happy and not feel like crap and to be able to go to bed and be exited for the next day) but right now i feel like no matter what i do ill never get to be

Many of the things we want in life don't just happened. You only obtain them through hard work over time. You need to decide what's important to you, make that your goal in life and it will happen. I wanted to transition when few were able to. My brother set the goal of being rich. If your goal is to have somebody in your life, you need to meet people and look for that perfect somebody. If you want to act, college may offer opportunities. Many communities have events or play houses where you could keep your hand in acting.

You are young but you have time to build the life you want. In a way you have and advantage over many who are your age because they may still be deciding what they want to do with their life. You  already know so you can start now. It may be a little rough right now but you can make a bright future.

Quote from: preston j sannicolas on May 13, 2017, 07:11:10 PM
So after months of trying to convince my self that i could be happy from not transitioning I've come to relies that i  dont think i can. But now i feel like even if i transition i wont be happy. the reason being that i feel like transitioning will just make life lonely, i feel like ill never find a boyfriend,or girlfriend so ill just die alone, besides that the only thing i like to do and hat im good at(somewhat) is acting. but acting is already a nearly impossible job for a cis person ,and practically impossible for a transperson.  i cry every time i think of never being in another play . i dont know what to do. im going to be a senior next year and then its off to college. i just want to be happy (my definition=being able to wake up everyday and be happy and not feel like crap and to be able to go to bed and be exited for the next day) but right now i feel like no matter what i do ill never get to be

Well, I can see eye-to-eye with this, as my intense dysphoria started at age 18.

I ultimately ended up transitioning while in university, which is something that not many of us can say. First, I want to let you know that you could certainly transition and lead a happy life nonetheless, which is something I generally wouldn't say to someone.

However, you're young, and you're going to find that nearly everyone is figuring out who they wish to be throughout their college years. If what's making you averse to the idea is a fear of perpetual loneliness (and not easily finding a partner), please understand that I made a group of amazing friends during my transition, and the overwhelming majority of them were cisgender people.

I've also had no difficulty finding sexual or romantic partners. If it's men that you're interested in, you'll find that they (i.e., straight and bi guys) are entirely open to trans women, so long as they find you to be attractive. If you're into women, you'll find that there are an astounding number of bisexual girls, and many of them are also okay dating trans girls.

I'm only trying to encourage you, because it seems clear to me what your heart wants. You're not in your 40s or 50s; your life is just beginning. Also, I dated a trans woman my age a year ago, and she's a semi-professional actress in Chicago. She admits that it's not easy, but one could act and be trans at the same time. It actually helps her secure gigs that she wouldn't get otherwise, and I'm not at all suggesting that she's androgynous or anything. It's more that a good portion of the acting community is LGBT or LGBT-friendly.

You just have to dream big, and then act on those big dreams.

Don't overthink. Try out on the things that you are curious about but never forget the dreams that you've always wanted for yourself. Finding yourself is an important part of your journey through life, and once you know what you really want, you can go ahead and find a partner that you think will share your life with, whether it be a man or a woman. Live life to the fullest.