Just three days ago I opened up my mind and accepted I am transgender.

In 30 plus years of life, I can only remember having a few dreams, and only remember the details of one dream.

Until earlier this morning.

I gendered myself female and I was putting on a red formal dress in a dream. I was totaling freaking out, I looked over at my wife next to me and was hoping that she could read my dreams. I was in a controlled freak out until I could finally get myself to the point where I could sleep again.


I woke up and throughout the day the dream stuck in my head. By now the freak out and panic turned to excitement. I just saw myself as a woman for the first time! Just last night I was wondering if this was just some phase and I needed to put my man pants back on and be a guy. This dream has validated the feeling that I am transgender and that deep inside I am part woman.

First thing first. You need practice polishing your toes    I've had those dreams for a long, long time. I finally gave in and went to visit a gender therapist who could help me understand.

I love dreams like that.  I remember as a teen, I had one of my favorite where I was a cheerleader (yeah goofy high school kid dreams) and cheering at a homecoming game. Of course the plot of the dream got pretty weird from there but it is one I still remember to this day

I had a similar type of dream experience ... in grade school ...
I remember feeling like something inside me rose up
and out of me ... like a helium balloon ...
and in my dream I was a girl ...

I didn't tell my parents ... (no surprise there, maybe )
I did tell a kid in the neighborhood ...
whom I thought could/would "help me to be a girl ..."

I didn't have any such similar dream experience ...
until about 2months after having had GCS/SRS ...
when in my dream (for the first time) ...
others were seeing me as a female ...

(I wonder if that dream means that
deep down I believed that others could/would NOT see me as "female" ...
unless/until I had had GCS/SRS )

I rarely remember my dreams, but there's one that really stands out. I woke up, & was the main female character from my favorite anime series. I got dressed & wandered around looking out windows with giant space whales flying around, but the main thing was this feeling of everything being right not just with me, but the entire universe. I've never felt anything like that before or since. Hoping I might be able to find something close to that feeling again!

Quote from: Erika_Courtney on May 30, 2017, 06:25:02 PM
Just three days ago I opened up my mind and accepted I am transgender.

In 30 plus years of life, I can only remember having a few dreams, and only remember the details of one dream.

Until earlier this morning.

I gendered myself female and I was putting on a red formal dress in a dream. I was totaling freaking out, I looked over at my wife next to me and was hoping that she could read my dreams. I was in a controlled freak out until I could finally get myself to the point where I could sleep again.


I woke up and throughout the day the dream stuck in my head. By now the freak out and panic turned to excitement. I just saw myself as a woman for the first time! Just last night I was wondering if this was just some phase and I needed to put my man pants back on and be a guy. This dream has validated the feeling that I am transgender and that deep inside I am part woman.

Hope your 2 YO old daughter painted your toe nails. 

To be serious, dreams are a complete mystery. While we sleep, very important "down time" activity happens in the brain. To me, dreams are a combination of random thoughts, worries, desires, hopes and flash backs of real events. All convoluted into a dream where aliens are chasing you (I have actually had the UFO-alien chasing me dream) .. *smiles* .. no idea what that means. Dreams are a function of your psychological status. So, a dream where you are presenting as female, which I have had as well, tell me that it's a desire that is important to you, since it's an unconscious decision to dream about that. My opinion is that if you dream about being a girl, it's something that is important to you right now. Weather or not that should be your final life goal is a whole different issue. Transition is a serious, life-long commitment. Before you go GRS, for example, you better be damn sure.

Quote from: DawnOday on May 30, 2017, 06:52:57 PM
First thing first. You need practice polishing your toes   

Quote from: Sinclair on May 30, 2017, 11:21:49 PM
Hope your 2 YO old daughter painted your toe nails. 

I painted my toes by myself and those were the best two toes out of ten. I think I picked the worse possible position to paint them from, but it was my first time. Seriously if the opening on the bottle was big enough, I would just put my whole toe and end of story its painted.

Quote from: Sinclair on May 30, 2017, 11:21:49 PM

Transition is a serious, life-long commitment. Before you go GRS, for example, you better be damn sure.

I don't see GRS in my future. For me it is more mental then physical.

I've had a number of these dreams throughout my life. Lots of fun.

Typically my dream detail levels is what I would identify as low detail (lots of black space, unidentifiable faces, muted colors, etc) and high detail (extreme detail, recognize people, realistic colors & sounds, being able to read stuff). Most of my dreams are what I consider low detail and I typically don't remember them after a few hours. However the other ones I tend to remember quite vividly, even stuff I may have read in the dream. Almost all of my transgender dreams have been of the high-detail versions and these are especially nice.

I could go on at length about dreams but I will refrain from doing so.

Not to threadjack, but the only reason I am any good at painting fingernails and toenails is because of all the plastic model airplanes and tanks I built as a teenager.  Working with a small paintbrush and staying inside the lines takes a lot of practice.

Quote from: Erika_Courtney on May 30, 2017, 11:42:18 PM
I painted my toes by myself and those were the best two toes out of ten. I think I picked the worse possible position to paint them from, but it was my first time. Seriously if the opening on the bottle was big enough, I would just put my whole toe and end of story its painted.


I don't see GRS in my future. For me it is more mental then physical.

It looks like you held the brush about 4 feet above and just let it drip.

I've often had a dream where I can almost fly, Superman style, but have problems getting off the ground.   

AnneK,

I have that dream too!  Often times I will fly for a while and then sort of 'lose steam' and have trouble getting back in the air. 

I have had dreams of being a woman as well.  I've been thinking about it a lot more lately.  I wonder if it will affect my dreams to come?

Quote from: Deb Roz on June 01, 2017, 02:53:51 PM
AnneK,


I have had dreams of being a woman as well.  I've been thinking about it a lot more lately.  I wonder if it will affect my dreams to come?

Since having that dream, I have been battling a very bad disphobic spell and have only been able to get a few hours of sleep all week.

   I'm sorry, Erika.  I hope peace and good sleep finds you soon. 

I see now that I didn't read your post closely enough, I'm sorry for being inattentive.  I had interpreted your 'freak out' as a positive thing, but I see now that it as much more anxiety producing.   I'm really sorry for that, sleep time is such an intimate, personal time with ones self, that many of our worst feelings come out at those times.

I've had bouts of insomnia that have lasted for weeks at a time.  Usually the 'busy brain' is what gets me.  Reading often helps me with sleep.  Right now I've just finished a book I was really enjoyed (American Gods), and haven't been able to break into a new one. 

I was trying to say I hope your dreams to come are pleasant and you can continue to gender yourself female. I really freaked out in a bad way at first. Over time I saw the positive, once the initially fear wore off. After my first dream I was hoping that I will continue to see myself as a female. Now I just want a goods night sleep.

Thanks for your post.

Keep your post updated as your journey continues.

 

Another dream I used to have was trying to keep someone from discovering I was wearing pantyhose.  However, I don't recall having that one since I started wearing them openly with shorts.