Hi Again,

I'm back, at least for today.

For those of you who don't know me, I was posting on this board a few months ago...

I am a Transsexual Woman, I was at one time afraid to discuss this with my partner. Since that time I have - Seen a therapist, gone on Anti-depressants, and come to the conclusion that the only way to live is as myself. Correct the birth defect and move on.

So I am back.

I love this forrum and even when I am not posting I usually stop by every day to check out any new posts.

The anti-depressants took a toll when I started on them (basically a week where I was just about as depressed as I have ever been). It was then that I quit posting, I hope you all can forgive me for that.

My partner is still with me, but we are having a rough time of it, she is grieving the loss of her husband, and I can not remain as I was. Even though remaing as I am might be better for her in the short run, nobody deserves to have a death on their conscience. So I 'die' toi her either way, at least this way she can still talk to me.

We went to a support group that is re-starting in Fresno, CA last Saturday. While I may have had fun my spouse was terrified. She seems to think that if I change I am 'rejecting' her. I feel nothing but love for this woman, and would gladly remain her partner no matter what.

So that's where it stands, right no I am on Vacation for two weeks so we'll see how things go.

Sincerly,
Marie

Hi! It's very nice to meet you.

Jess

Welcome back.  Hopefully things will be smoother as time progresses.  It's great that you are going to a support group, and while you had fun your spouse didn't.  So I have to ask - Do you know why your spouse was "terrified".  Understanding your spouses feelings is a good place to build on.  Peronally I found that many support groupes are geared more towards the trans person and not their partners, significant others, spouses, etc...

It is so very hard for a spouse to understand the why's and wherefores when it come to trans people.  If you are lucky like me, you and your spouse can work it out, but you have to be honest and up front.  My wife and I discussed everything from what my intentions were (becoming Stephanie, a woman) HRT, coming out, what her desires are, her plans, her needs etc... We even discussed separating and getting a divorce, very difficult things to discuss but it's the hard things like this that you have to discuss.  May be therapy for you both may be the best, but then you discover the dilema of finding a therapist.

Just remember no matter how bad things may seem, none of it is life threatening.  There is always a solution., sometimes it takes a little comprimise.

Welcome back, get your spouse to login here, there are lots of people here to chat with and get advice.

Just my thoughts

Yay! ReWelcome Marie!

I hope everything works out well for you. I do suggest making sure you and your spouse communicate very well.

I think Stephanie's advice of directing your spouse here is good also. Perhaps the anonymity that the 'net affords would be of help.

Be safe and well

welcome back Marie,

                     we missed you and are glad you are back. i sometimes wonder if there should be seperate support groups for SOs, i think having everyone together can be intimidating to someone, especially if they are new to all this. i wish you both happiness and love and hope to see you both here.





beth