Well, hon, I'm going to turn 60 in August, four days before my SRS surgery. Would I rather be 40, or even 20? Well, sure, but that wasn't an option. The way life worked out, the only choice I had was to start transition at age 56 or not transition at all.
Best case was I was going to get old anyway, and be a sad, resigned old man who wished he had the courage to at least try to pursue his dreams. My bargain with myself was I wanted ten good years as a female out of all this. So, I figured this was realistically my last chance to do something. As you can see from my avatar I'm not doing too bad for an old broad, and I am finally, after nearly six decades of existence, happy with who I am. That's priceless, and to me it has been worth the pain, expense, and anxiety of transition.
Yes, there has been a price, and not just financial. Transition is really eff-ing hard - there is no way to sugar-coat that. There was a friend or two lost, and estrangement from my family, but I fared far better than some. Hopefully there will be enough time to reconcile with my kids when they are older, presuming I am still around. All I can do is let them know I love them and hope they let me back in their lives at some point.
On the plus side of transitioning so late in life, I had the benefit of a lifetime of male privilege, which translated into a good career. That means I have good health insurance to help cover therapists and endocrinologists, and hormones, and whatnot, not to mention the financial resources to drop $35K on FFS and around $7K on electrolysis. If you also add in the personal growth accrued from a lifetime of experience, it is not surprising that now was my time. I was strong enough and resourceful enough, medical and mental health treatment had evolved enough, and society had changed enough for it to happen.
So, consider me a success. All in all I am very happy and amazed that I somehow found the strength and courage to change my life in the face of great fear and trepidation.
With kindness,
Terri