Crossdresser here, but since starting up again last fall after a 30 year hiatus I'm having all sorts of feelings about my true gender identity, as well as fanatically reading up on the subject as much as possible.  I want to consult a gender therapist about finding out who I am, but don't want to invest time/money in a ton of sessions to do so.  My life is pretty straightforward so I imagine I could just lay everything out on the table and get things over with pretty quickly - I have absolutely no qualms about revealing aspects about myself - I just want a verdict.  Do therapists...yield verdicts?  Think that's the term - you know, what judges do.  I don't imagine therapists bang a gavel at the end of the hour...   "All rise!"  Yuck, this is really Freudian!   

I've read about therapy yielding results lightning fast - some patient of Anne Vitale's wrote about how how within a half hour Anne said she was not only a TS but should start transitioning ASAP, much to the spouse's chagrin/horror.

Since being transgender is a self-diagnosed thing you don't really need a therapist.  It sounds like you have already arrived at a conclusion.  If you want to start HRT there are informed consent clinics and doctors that do not require you see a psychological counselor to get hormones and begin transition.

But a good therapist will not render a verdict rather encourage you to explore your gender identity and come to your own conclusions as to where you feel you belong on the gender spectrum. And whether you feel you need to transition or can find other ways of coping with being transgender.

Because if you do decide to transition, the therapist doesn't have to live with the consequences, the spouse doesn't have to live with the consequences.
You are the one who has to live with the consequences. It's all your choice and decision.

Quote from: Julie Ross on June 09, 2017, 03:21:37 PM
Crossdresser here, but since starting up again last fall after a 30 year hiatus I'm having all sorts of feelings about my true gender identity, as well as fanatically reading up on the subject as much as possible.  I want to consult a gender therapist about finding out who I am, but don't want to invest time/money in a ton of sessions to do so.  My life is pretty straightforward so I imagine I could just lay everything out on the table and get things over with pretty quickly - I have absolutely no qualms about revealing aspects about myself - I just want a verdict.  Do therapists...yield verdicts?  Think that's the term - you know, what judges do.  I don't imagine therapists bang a gavel at the end of the hour...   "All rise!"  Yuck, this is really Freudian!   

I've read about therapy yielding results lightning fast - some patient of Anne Vitale's wrote about how how within a half hour Anne said she was not only a TS but should start transitioning ASAP, much to the spouse's chagrin/horror.

my gender therapist didn't start me on hormones for 4 years. She wanted me to do the RLE first.

Before going anywhere near any hormones I'd just like an outsider's opinion on where my head's at - I'm fully aware that one can be in denial about many issues, or have blocked them in various ways, so I'd just like an informed assessment of things.  This could be any number of things besides being TS - maybe they'd say I should just socialize more - I'm more than a bit of a recluse.  Or that I have such-and-such sexual hang up passing as a gender identity crisis.  I look for stories that match my own experiences a lot, they're not too common.  An experienced therapist has heard it all, I imagine. 

I've thought for some time that practicing RLE would be the logical first step, for me anyway, and not that attempting to be a woman as a spare time hobby is exactly RLE, but it would allow me to get an idea of what things would be like.  I'm in no hurry despite being in my mid-40s.

Given your age I suspect it that would yield a maturity level that would allow you to self diagnose. As Jane pointed out, this is a self diagnosed issue. Think of your therapist more as a guru or guide. No one will tell you you are or aren't transgender. If they do, they really aen't dong there job. I would think your goal would be to start HRT. With that in mind, find a therapist, tell her you want to start and ask how many sessios she requires before issuing thepaprwork that most Dr.s require to start you on female hormones and anti androgens. If OTOH, you still don't know, good therapists can guide you towards a conclusion. That can take just as many sessions as it does. My attitude is if you're older, start the hormones, if you're not trans, the emotional changes will tell you soon enough. It most likely will do no harm in the short term and in the long run, much cheaper than a bunch of therapy. Disclaimer: Hormones can and do make people ill and can cause death. If you're healthy though, this is very unlikely. Of particular concern would be a personal history or family history of DVT (blood clots). Absent that, I'd say go for it. Just make sure you're not spinning your wheels down pink fog highway. Good luck.

My diagnosis came on my second visit and within a month I was on HRT.  I have Kaiser Permanente and they have been truly fabulous.

Quote from: Julie Ross on June 09, 2017, 03:21:37 PM
Crossdresser here, but since starting up again last fall after a 30 year hiatus I'm having all sorts of feelings about my true gender identity, as well as fanatically reading up on the subject as much as possible.  I want to consult a gender therapist about finding out who I am, but don't want to invest time/money in a ton of sessions to do so.  My life is pretty straightforward so I imagine I could just lay everything out on the table and get things over with pretty quickly - I have absolutely no qualms about revealing aspects about myself - I just want a verdict.  Do therapists...yield verdicts?  Think that's the term - you know, what judges do.  I don't imagine therapists bang a gavel at the end of the hour...   "All rise!"  Yuck, this is really Freudian!   

I've read about therapy yielding results lightning fast - some patient of Anne Vitale's wrote about how how within a half hour Anne said she was not only a TS but should start transitioning ASAP, much to the spouse's chagrin/horror.

One appointment, twenty minutes at Fenway Health informed consent clinic. My doctor told me that I make the decision to start hormones, and  her job is to make sure I'm healthy enough to take them. I just went in and  told the truth: I'm genderfluid with a full time female presentation. I'm looking for further feminization of my body.

Hugs, Devlyn

i'm really really really wary of ingesting something that very well could result in sterility in a few months, not that I'm gung ho on perpetuating my rather flawed genome on this well overpopulated planet.  You should really think twice about dishing advice like that without knowing more about the person in question.

Or did my post make it sound like I'm trying to figure out how to get past these pesky gatekeepers ASAP?  I'm truthfully keen on hearing what they have to say, I don't have anyone to talk to about these matters.  Sorry if I'm coming across as a bit curt, too.  But hormone regimens aren't anything to fool around with, from what I've read.

I don't relate to so much of what seems typical of CDs - I have a full length mirror, yes, I use it to see what my ensemble looks like, then move on.  I'm not taking loads of snaps of myself and posting them for all to see.  CDs seem to be fixated on looking glamourous, I want to be less conspicuous - to just be on of the gals.  It's matters like these that make me wonder if I'm more of a TS.  But I'm pretty content as it is, too - really, since taking up dressing I'm contemplating things about myself that are a bit distressing in ways - but it's really joyous to feel more like a woman, and women are so much artistic, let's say. 

Odds are that if you're thinking about it, you are likely transgender.

Welcome to Susan's Place. Being transgender is a self diagnosed condition and may be the only one in medicine. Only you can say what you feel and more important, what you want to do about it. Yes, others can get a pretty good read off you and tell you what they see but you still have to decide how you want to live your life. I have a couple of links that I give people who are questioning. The first is our WIKI where you will learn about the transgender family. The second link is "the transition channel" in which a gender therapist discusses many of the questions that you would answer in therapy. This is something that takes time to work your way through so feel free to ask any questions you might have.

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Hi, Julie.

You sound a lot like me a few months ago.  I had diagnosed myself, was pretty sure I wanted to start on hormones, and had some trepidation about doing so.  On my first session with the therapist, I asked for a hormone readiness assessment.  She told me that the assessment had already been under way for half an hour, and that it would take two more sessions to complete.

The assessment is just that: making sure that you are indeed ready to begin HRT.  So, making sure that this is not some delusion that might best be treated in some other way.  Making sure you know what the hormones will do to you.

There was no "verdict" or diagnosis as such.  I told her that I was there because I was pretty sure I was transgender.  After a few minutes of talking, she agreed that there was nothing to indicate that I was wrong.

Therapists can do a lot of other stuff besides.  Often people go in confused about who they are or what they want, and a good therapist can help sort that stuff out.  Me, I was pretty sure who I was, and I knew I wanted to start transitioning, so it went pretty fast.

Thanks for those links, Dena!  I'll check them out shortly, they sound like just the thing I was after.

Quote from: Dena on June 09, 2017, 08:14:19 PM
Welcome to Susan's Place. Being transgender is a self diagnosed condition and may be the only one in medicine.

That's astonishing.  As I've said this topic has really shunted aside most any other interests of late, but nothing I'd read mentioned that fact, which makes TG more than a bit unique.

Oh, I'm TG.  Isn't everybody?     It's about as broad an umbrella term as can be.  Whether I want to explore the wide world of HRT is another matter.  Thanks for all the replies, I know much more about what therapy will involve now.

Tomorrow I'll meet up briefly with the local LGBT support group, as well, and get some more info on the local therapists. 

Quote from: Julie Ross on June 09, 2017, 03:21:37 PM
. . . since starting up again last fall after a 30 year hiatus

The three classic signs of the transsexual are: is it persistent, consistent and insistent.

If you have a 30+ year history with this I would suggest that it is certainly persistent.

Quote from: Julie Ross on June 09, 2017, 09:09:14 PM
As I've said this topic has really shunted aside most any other interests of late

And this hints at insistent.

Dressing has always been kind of in the back of my mind, but I had a major hangup about going shopping.  Thinking back it was like the impulse was in hibernation.  Finally last fall I worked up the nerve to buy some undergarments - I was making some changes in life, and remembered how much I liked being en femme so long ago; and then a few months back I put in 30 minutes of hemming and hawing in a Goodwill, before just saying to hell with it and making a beeline for the dresses, and since then I'm pretty fearless.  So, persistent, yes, but more in the background.

I've played music my whole life, and that really became the center of my life right around when I had to stop dressing up - recently I wondered if that was some kind of coping mechanism, as well as not enjoying high school much at all.

I've never been comfortable being anything remotely macho.  Boisterous, sure, but guys who thump their chests are just tools.  Have always just warmed towards women's companionship more.

Quote from: Jane Emily on June 09, 2017, 11:58:49 PM
The three classic signs of the transsexual are: is it persistent, consistent and insistent.

If you have a 30+ year history with this I would suggest that it is certainly persistent.

And this hints at insistent.

Quote from: Julie Ross on June 09, 2017, 07:30:14 PM
i'm really really really wary of ingesting something that very well could result in sterility in a few months, not that I'm gung ho on perpetuating my rather flawed genome on this well overpopulated planet.  You should really think twice about dishing advice like that without knowing more about the person in question.

Or did my post make it sound like I'm trying to figure out how to get past these pesky gatekeepers ASAP?  I'm truthfully keen on hearing what they have to say, I don't have anyone to talk to about these matters.  Sorry if I'm coming across as a bit curt, too.  But hormone regimens aren't anything to fool around with, from what I've read.

I don't relate to so much of what seems typical of CDs - I have a full length mirror, yes, I use it to see what my ensemble looks like, then move on.  I'm not taking loads of snaps of myself and posting them for all to see.  CDs seem to be fixated on looking glamourous, I want to be less conspicuous - to just be on of the gals.  It's matters like these that make me wonder if I'm more of a TS.  But I'm pretty content as it is, too - really, since taking up dressing I'm contemplating things about myself that are a bit distressing in ways - but it's really joyous to feel more like a woman, and women are so much artistic, let's say.

I don't know if you were addressing me, but I was merely sharing my experience at one of the top rated LGBT clinics in the United States, not giving advice.   

You asked about speed, mine took twenty minutes. I walked in looking good, feeling comfortable and confident in myself. That might have had something to do with the speed.

Hugs, Devlyn

On the flip side,  it took me almost 2 years working with a therapist before finally deciding on a full transition. As others have said,  in the end,  only you can decide,  no expert can really know what's on your mind. X

Sent from my MI 5s using Tapatalk

Julie, I know I assumed based on your post title asking specifically about speed to a diagnosis that you were probably interested in HRT or GCS. Your post makes it clear enough that you mostly just want to know, however you didn't say you don't want medical intervention and that makes your interest unusual, 95% of the posters asking about therapy are doing so with regards to WPATH transition.

It's true that this diagnosis can only be reached by you but working with the therapist is an important part of that and as far as a diagnosis for surgery is concerned, only a psychiatrist or licences therapist can render that. Their job is to evaluate in an objective manner that we as clients aren't able to do.

I would be very leery of any therapist that "rendered a verdict", either way beyond somewhere on the TG spectrum between cis-male and cis-female. I doubt any CD never questioned their true gender. Just being a CD has to beg the question.

Some people are absolutely sure transitioning is the right route for them. Some people's lives are in free fall dealing with the GD, so much so they cannot even hold down a job they were doing for many years. I've seen them come into my group. There was no other way they can bring some sort of balance back into their life. There are other's that may "Question" yet on the whole they like the escape of being a CD, like a vacation (I am guessing). After it's over it's no big thing to get back to "Life". There are others, like me, that go well beyond "Questioning" since an early age. Yet somehow most days can strike a balance between all the aspects of life that are important.

A therapist's main purpose, as I see it, is to help you find your "Answer" or answers. To moderate. To instill some additional knowledge. To ask you the questions you may not want to be asked, or didn't even think to ask. To point out some of the possibilities or alternative endings to your decisions. Endings which may be based totally on wishful thinking. Which is OK. Nothing wrong with having hope.

Eight years after I saw I needed to take the Trans-Beast on for real with many of them seeing a therapist, the last 4 with a for real gender therapist, I still don't know the best answer for me. I still am able to find a balance in my life juggling all the aspects of it that are important to me, my totality as a person. Yes, I have bad days, but how many cis people don't have bad days? I sure don't know any.

BTW - They also agree totally I am TG.

Joanne, that's interesting because I don't consider myself at all on a spectrum. True, I present as non-binary however that's a matter of practicality and aesthetics, for instance I can't afford facial electrolysis and for now am choosing to keep my beard.

However where it counts for me, I don't consider my brain to be the least bit masculine. It's true that I was socialized male and have been working for 20 years on dropping the habits of masculine privilege. The sea change happened when I started estrogen and most of the things I'd had to consciously work towards for 20 years simply started to fall into place.

Quote from: SadieBlake on June 10, 2017, 08:48:09 AM
...
However where it counts for me, I don't consider my brain to be the least bit masculine. It's true that I was socialized male and have been working for 20 years on dropping the habits of masculine privilege. The sea change happened when I started estrogen and most of the things I'd had to consciously work towards for 20 years simply started to fall into place.

It's working, Sadie, it's working.     You get to be happy with yourself, and be more at ease in your skin, and that what really counts.

We have all these models for how 'gender', 'identity', and 'orientation' should work, but at the end of the day, they are just models, simplifications of the infinite variety of reality.  We had the old binary model, which is very widely considered to be flawed by those who study gender issues at all.  We have the currently popular 'continuum' model in which various attributes are plotted along continuously variable axes from 'feminine' to 'masculine'. 

It's good to remember that these are just models, intended to simplify thinking and understanding about gender issues.  The map of the world is not the same as the world, right?

Infinite diversity!  And from the universe of possibilities, we each have to find our own path to our place of joy and peace within ourselves.