Are we just an annoyance to our friends?

When you've had all this stuff bottled up for most of your life, when it all comes out, it can be a flood.
When you start transitioning and discover a whole new world, you are dying to tell all about your experiences.
Is this all too much for our friends, even if we've warned them?

Any thoughts?

I would like to believe that I'm an annoyance to everybody.

i try not to talk to my friends about my transition too much, cos i don't want to annoy them.
but some of my friends are interested in it and do talk about it.

if our friends are truely our friends then they will want to know about it and be interested in it and stuff, as long as its not the only thing you ever talk about.  my one friend that was ever really annoyed by it, drifted of more because he was uncomfortable with me being trans.

jenny
x x

Quote from: Ashley Michelle on February 09, 2008, 07:54:18 PM

Quote from: Rebis on February 09, 2008, 07:50:53 PM

I would like to believe that I'm an annoyance to everybody.

you dont annoy me, so neener neener!

same goes for me too rebis  so nananana

Posted on: February 09, 2008, 10:04:17 PM

---

my freinds all they want to is talk about the days happenings . from the weather to bush they dont  talk

about much other stuff

I don't talk to my friends about it too much either.

Either they don't understand, or it feels like I'm just throwing back the same ol thing over and over.  I mean if I'm having a really bad day or something they're there for me, but for the most part it's "not there".  I mean the ones that I've come out to care, but there's no real reason I want to bring it up, or they want to talk about, once they're past the "inform me" stage.

edit:  There's no option for like the don't really care or inform me once type of people

My friends seem incredibly interested, and I suspect that excitement will fade with time.  My plans are to answer their questions as they come up, but not to burden them.  I don't want to be like the party guest who's still there at the end of the night, clueless about the fact that it's time to leave. 

I've tried to write my blog with this group of friends, colleagues, and family in mind -- not too many physical details, but an honest account of what it's like.  That way, if a friend wants to know, they can read at their own pace without my pushing information on them.  And if they don't want to know, they don't have to type in the URL, do they?

I see so much of what I do in this thread. I can understand why people who don't want to be around me when I start talking about my transition. I know, like the rest of us, it is exciting to come of age. We have wanted, some of us for 50 years, to be who we are. It was like the goal of ours. When we finally reach it, we want to talk about it but we need to be quiet and just let it go as nothing has happened. Excuse me, I went through hell and came out a winner. I want to celebrate and no one else does. It is hard to contain ones self. During your transition, you want to acknowledge all the little steps that you have noticed to your friends and love ones, but they don't want to hear it. To me, it's like winning the lottery and not being able to tell anyone that you won. Yes, people ignore me as I have been activist and now I'm just the little old lady who drives a school bus. I try not to say anything about me and let it lie. It is very hard though.
Sheila

Ive been ignored by my so called friends, some of them have drifted away... I know one of my so caled best friends is STILL mad Im not one of the guys anymore... but for the most part the reaction I get from them is "Just shut the **** up allready"  They dont want to hear it and honestly never have....

Granted there are some few rare exceptions to this rule.

I think that for a lot of people its a TMI deal.  I've never lost any friends, but if your real out and public, then those who don't like it don't even get close to you.  But I rarely talk about it, too much 'personal' and not enough 'business.'  And really, I don't like to get into involved conversations with other about their personal stuff either.

To me, it's not annoying to hear at all.. [I'm a SO]  The way I see it, the whole process is such a big part of someone's life that it's natural they'd want to talk about it.  I mean, you can't exactly do something this huge and then brush it aside like it hasn't affected you at all, or like you haven't thought about it, or aren't excited.  Whenever I'm excited or going through something difficult, I talk about it a lot, too.

And my girl is really awesome, sometimes she feels like she's talked too much and asks me to start talking about myself.    Which is really sweet.. I'd recommend that for anyone who feels like their friends are annoyed, I guess just make sure you're still being supportive of them and their problems as well so they don't feel left out or off-balance.  But if you're doing your share of being a good friend.. I'd think that they should be a good friend to you, too, and be excited, even if only because you're excited.  But that's just my opinion..

you're supposed to annoy your friends, and they're supposed to annoy you - then you tell each other to shut up and have a good laugh about it.

I have lost one of my best friends because he just couldn not get his arms around the idea of my transition.

I am losing several more for the same reason.

Relations with my siblings are strained, especially with my brother.  He considers this a mental breakdown on my part.

On the other hand, I am making new friends who are able to accept me for who I am.

Transitioning means putting everything on the line.  If this was a poker game, we are going all-in holding a Queen - Seven off suite.

Chaunte

Quote from: Ashley Michelle on February 10, 2008, 07:28:37 PM

Quote from: Chaunte on February 10, 2008, 07:25:03 PM
I have lost one of my best friends because he just couldn not get his arms around the idea of my transition.

I am losing several more for the same reason.

Relations with my siblings are strained, especially with my brother.  He considers this a mental breakdown on my part.

On the other hand, I am making new friends who are able to accept me for who I am.

Transitioning means putting everything on the line.  If this was a poker game, we are going all-in holding a Queen - Seven off suite.

Chaunte

so we're bluffing, then?   


j/k  i know what you mean

Darn straight!!!

Chaunte

(Can I say "straight" if I am tg? )

I've only really told one friend... I hinted to another about it, but the one I actually told gave me a weird look. She's cool about it mind you, cause we have a bit of a pact, but I don't think she knows what to do with it. Being gay would be infinitely easier....

Although... I did tell a friend of mine long before and more and more about how hardcore I was about it, and then he died... So yeah. He actually wanted to do it with me (apparently he had GID or didn't ID with his body) but yet again he would have done anything to still be a good friend. Poor dude. One of my most striking memories of him is actually telling him I think of being a girl when on an escalator at the best party in his life, to which he shrugged and kinda laughed. When two people are laughing at something which is generally something to cry over and be depressed about, you know you'll forever miss that moment and person.

I fear being an annoyance to people, so I kinda just don't leave my room anymore. I'd rather not tell them and have them find out on their own if changes happen honestly. I'd be out of college maybe on break or something and break it to them. My brother wouldn't have an entire town frowning on him cause I'd be gone, and my best friend would be in the Navy most likely, or in the same boat as my brother.

It really depends......if the friend has known for a long time, they're usually about ts'd out.  If they are a friend that doesn't know yet, then they can't get enough info, until at some point, they become bored.
After long enough, it's like talking about a gall bladder operation, and people who have heard it enough times disappear into the cracks


Bev

I never talk transition with my friends.  Only one knows.  The others do not.

However, I do wear my heart on my sleeve far too often.  I know that I have bored people to tears telling them about myself.

I really need to learn to shut up more and just be quiet.

Cindi

Shut up, Cindi, and just be quiet.


(sorry.  I'm just trying to agree with you)                     

....... <Cindi remains quiet> ......

The more I think about this the more I agree with Pica Pica.  Gee, if I'm all that annoying then why are you in my living room, dubbing my bootleg CDs, drinking my beer, telling me about your wife and all the rest.  A lot of the people I work with still tour.  And when that tour comes to us you can bet that we are going to give 120% to make sure its the best stop on the tour so that they look good.  Of course, they know full well, went tour is over, and they come back home, the level of grief they are going to take goes up 150% for a while.  So it goes.