I need someone to know - my wife has an inkling about me sort of cross dressing but not transitioning - that needs fixing - when I have to. But I have a gender neutral friend who I  trust - want to come out to them, but I am afraid it will change our great relationship!   I am a Father, church member, have a good job, and with a great beard, so I see lots to lose and I am  just starting to accept this myself!

Quoteand with a great beard

https://www.arcamax.com/newspics/153/15383/1538326.gif

Quote from: Marcieelizabeth on June 02, 2017, 12:47:10 PM
I need someone to know - my wife has an inkling about me sort of cross dressing but not transitioning - that needs fixing - when I have to. But I have a gender neutral friend who I  trust - want to come out to them, but I am afraid it will change our great relationship!   I am a Father, church member, have a good job, and with a great beard, so I see lots to lose and I am  just starting to accept this myself!

Is there any chance you could find a gender therapist to talk to in your area?  A lot of people start with a therapist.  Other than that would you have a friend or relative that you could confide in?  The problem with that approach though, is they may not understand the situation.  I would hate them to give you bad advice.

Don't forget about us at Susans.  There's people of all different ages,  with amazingly different background.  There's quite a few who've come out of situation that sound very familiar to yours.


Take care,
Paige

is the gender neutral person also member of your church?

Quote from: mattress on June 04, 2017, 07:30:17 PM
is the gender neutral person also member of your church?

No and they often help lots of people with issues including health issues as they have EDS too, I coincidentally may also - but a different form, so communicating with them could be easliy hidden I think...

I agree with Paige. 

In addition to great people on Susans, I found a book very helpful - The Transgender Guidebook by Anne Boedecker PhD.

Thanks all - WELL I took the step to look for gender therapists in the area and I did come out to my friend,


But I did not follow through with making an appointment - my friend has a person they recommend and they have never steered me wrong, so...well..still stalling!!  Fear and guilt are terrible things. But are motivators anyway

Love and Hugs, Marcie

Quote from: Marcieelizabeth on June 02, 2017, 12:47:10 PM
I need someone to know - my wife has an inkling about me sort of cross dressing but not transitioning - that needs fixing - when I have to. But I have a gender neutral friend who I  trust - want to come out to them, but I am afraid it will change our great relationship!   I am a Father, church member, have a good job, and with a great beard, so I see lots to lose and I am  just starting to accept this myself!

I was totally terrified to come out to my family. I was very androgynous and very fem so it just was assumed I was gay. My family accepted me but I was sure being trans would be too much. My dad is a very masculine guy, ex marine and all that. I felt lucky he accepted me as gay and thought I shouldn't push it by coming out as trans.  When I was 17 my dad just came out and asked me if I wanted to be a girl one night at dinner. He said that if I did I needed to get going with it and get it done and out of the way. So I started counseling and hrt. I was so scared of coming out that if my dad hadn't outed me I probably would still be living as a very unhappy gay boy. If I was still living that unhappy life I would have found the courage to come out after reading some of the stories here. A lot of the girls here have a lot of regret about not starting sooner because they were afraid of coming out. I know you have a lot to lose but you also have a lot to gain. I'm not gonna tell you you need to come out but I am saying look at the situation. Look at stuff 5-10 years down the road and think of where you want to be and then think of where you will be if you don't come out and start your transition. I started young enough that hrt worked really well. I have no problems passing and people have even told me I'm pretty despite my skin and eye color.  But I can't help but think I would look even better if I hadn't been such a chicken ->-bleeped-<- and come out and started hrt before puberty.

If church is such a big part of your life, ask your pastor to hear your confession (after all, confession is supposed to be held totally confidential) and decide for yourself if you belong to the church judging by pastor reaction.


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I've had a good week as my 22 year old son who already new and supported me for cross dressing said if I wanted to have surgery and become a women he was good with it and would also help me pay everything. We had a great talk! He is one of the very few who's opinion matters to me.

It's father day now and every time he see me he tells me Happy Father Day!

Tomorrow I see my therapist on the way to see my mother and step dad (the man who raised me) for a week in Florida. For some reason I'm apprehensive about coming out to them. I had a brother who was gay and passed from complications with Aids in the early 90s. I'm not 100% sure he didn't do intravenous drugs but it is reasonable to assume he contracted it from his life style and I'm afraid they may worry the same may happen to me. I'll try and reassure them that I'll take every reasonable precaution. As of the past approx 10 years my sexual preference is abstinence. I have avoided any type of relationship because of my what I consider Severe Gender Dysphoria that already cost me one marriage and several girl friends. Back on subject; my mom discover my cross dressing in my childhood and when I was about 14 or so took me to a psychologist and I'm curious as to what he told her. In those days everything was Taboo.