Quote from: KathyLauren on June 11, 2017, 07:20:35 AM
I have only been misgendered and/or dead-named by people who knew me from before I transitioned.  It's kind of understandable, since they knew the old me.  Being less than two months out, I don't make a big deal of it.  I'll correct them and they are usually very apologetic.  I tell them that it's okay, I still get it wrong sometimes myself.  (True story: I have dead-named myself twice in public.)

So far, no one has misgendered or dead-named me maliciously.  I am not sure how I would handle that. 

I have been pleasantly surprised at how many people get it right first time, every time.

That is totally how I feel ATM my friends have only recently started using Tamara and She/Her and given I have deadname myself a number of times (it's easy to do when ur not full time) I'm happy to cut them slack.

They are all making a effort and time will do the rest.

Otherwise I have been lucky I seem to pass enough to get gendered correct at most places, except once store where I have had multiple runins with the same changeroom lady several times so I stoped shopping there.

I'm 100% certain she is just a hater, it happens.


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The only person who misnames/misgenders me deliberately is my Father. Even my mother doesn't use my old name or deliberately misgender me. This is the same bloke who claims to be an Ally, but refuses to "use any bloody name apart from the one you were given" (cleaned that quote up a lot)

In public I tend to get neutral pronouns although since using my new found voice I have noticed it has made a big difference and will get gendered female when using it despite how I may be dressed.

I did notice that if in the early days if I was ambiguous in my presentation people misgender me....

It has been awhile since it happened and when it did last time I just moved on...I am not going to get into it with some 18 year old kid in a supermarket 

My great aunt Liz misgendrrs me and calls me Julian but I seriously doubt she does it to be mean. She's like really senile and I think she just is confused most of the time about a lot of things. Its annoying but I would never stop visiting her because of it. She is a really sweet and wonderful lady.  She lives in a senior care center and she sometimes misgenders me in front of the staff but they are so fascinated with me being albino I doubt they noticed the misgendering.

A couple days ago an old friend saw me at a local cafe. He has had big problems with my transition. He stopped to offer consolidation over my mom passing last week. He then introduced me to his family constantly misgendering me. I could only take it and then cried hard when I got home. It doesn't  happen often but when combined with my grieving it was just too much. Usually I just blow it off, not worth the energy to refute.