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When your In-Laws are Transphobic

Started by Crush935, June 24, 2017, 08:43:29 AM

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Crush935

So my girlfriend is one of the most supportive people of me I know.  She completely respects my gender and my need to be stealth.  As such, her parents have no idea that I wasn't born cisgender. 

She told me last night that she found out her Dad was transphobic.  While he was watching a documentary on the subject he made the comment "they should just use them for spare parts". 

Now I adore her Dad.  He is a great guy and an awesome father to her.  He just has a misguided viewpoint on the subject.  I'm not even mad at him. 

But, I can't help but feel a little hurt.  Like would he still look at me like a son if he knew?  I have no intention of him ever finding out, and I'm trying to stay focused and positive and not let it get to me.  He's from a small town and an era where he probably hasn't had an opportunity to learn much about it. 

I don't want this to be a downfall for me.  Does anyone have some coping strategies on how to handle something like this?


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Raell

Many transgender people never tell their in-laws. No need to, unless your former identity is well-known in your community or you have mutual friends.

I don't usually bother to tell anyone I'm nonbinary partial transmale without their having a need to know.
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Crush935

Yeah I moved clear across the country and no one outside of my family knows.  So that is rather helpful. 


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Corastrasza

My girlfriends family found out about me being trans and I subsequently found out about them being transphobic... They used to like me. Now they want me out of her life, basically. If you want to maintain a positive relationship with him, I would try to keep him in the dark about it. That doesn't mean that you couldn't let it be known to him that you are supportive and understanding of transgender people though.
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MissKairi

I'm hoping the world continues in the right direction with people becoming more liberal and accepting. Look at the gay community now, sure it still has haters but most people (I know) wouldnt blink an eye at it.
Its going to take time for people to readjust their views :)
Let's see where this journey takes me.
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Corastrasza

Quote from: MissKairi on June 24, 2017, 11:35:09 AM
I'm hoping the world continues in the right direction with people becoming more liberal and accepting. Look at the gay community now, sure it still has haters but most people (I know) wouldnt blink an eye at it.
Its going to take time for people to readjust their views :)
I often wonder how long it will take for people to stop being so weird about it.. I think the solution is for more trans people and people sympathetic to trans people to talk and educate people on the subject because it seems like most people have a very skewed perception of what trans actually is.
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Crush935

Quote from: Corastrasza on June 24, 2017, 11:39:09 AM
I often wonder how long it will take for people to stop being so weird about it.. I think the solution is for more trans people and people sympathetic to trans people to talk and educate people on the subject because it seems like most people have a very skewed perception of what trans actually is.

The problem is that a lot of people don't want to listen.  Or just biblically think it's wrong.  I don't mind if people don't agree with it, they just need to be respectful. 


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