Hi my name is lee and im currently stuck at the cross road in life . A little bit about my past to current time .......

I was born as a male and im currently 30  , but i knew there was something not quite right about me , it all started when i nicked my mothers underwear when i was young and i got caught by my mum as she found the underwear and then afew years later i did it again but being more dicreet about and by this time i ended up buying my very first pair of knee lenght high heel boots witched i loved and a cream leather skirt too and when i wore them in secret i felt very happy , at this timd i was about 17/18 years old and my parents found the items and told me to bin them and i told them "its who i am " .
   Things changed after that .... i ended up dating females just to keep them happy but on the inside my inner female was screaming to be let out but i had to hide it ...... i met my current partner and been with for the last 10 yrs with whom i have 3 children with and recently got married last year .
    Now im finding myself looking online at shoes , handbags , make-up , clothes and even hairstyles and even picked out a female name for myself , i have carried this burden for the past 10 years and im trying to let my inlaws and wife and children that i wanf to be a female but i have a massive fear that i will lose eveything e.g children and family and im hoping that any ts sisters can help me with this situation as im stuck at the cross roads in life

Quote from: Leeadam on June 25, 2017, 06:58:50 PM
Hi my name is lee and im currently stuck at the cross road in life . A little bit about my past to current time .......

I was born 29/10/1986 as a male and im currently 30  , but i knew there was something not quite right about me , it all started when i nicked my mothers underwear when i was young and i got caught by my mum as she found the underwear and then afew years later i did it again but being more dicreet about and by this time i ended up buying my very first pair of knee lenght high heel boots witched i loved and a cream leather skirt too and when i wore them in secret i felt very happy , at this timd i was about 17/18 years old and my parents found the items and told me to bin them and i told them "its who i am " .
   Things changed after that .... i ended up dating females just to keep them happy but on the inside my inner female was screaming to be let out but i had to hide it ...... i met my current partner and been with for the last 10 yrs with whom i have 3 children with and recently got married last year .
    Now im finding myself looking online at shoes , handbags , make-up , clothes and even hairstyles and even picked out a female name for myself , i have carried this burden for the past 10 years and im trying to let my inlaws and wife and children that i wanf to be a female but i have a massive fear that i will lose eveything e.g children and family and im hoping that any ts sisters can help me with this situation as im stuck at the cross roads in life

Other then kids I'm in a similar boat. I'm 36, just starting to come out, but my husband is struggling and making comments that are preventing me from moving forward. What helped me was finding a therapist who I connected with and who specializes in Transgender issues.  I also found support in the community.


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Hi Leeadams,
       I totally feel you I am not much older than you but, have a similar story as do many on here. I had a secret stash of feminine clothes and tried on some of my sister's clothes. As well as I looked up stuff on the subject about liking women's clothes and not feeling like oneself. Which in the mid-90's all you got was porn. My parents found me out by seeing our browser history. I was totally embarrassed and just like you buried it deep. I kept going back to wanting to at the very least have women's clothes. I got married as well and had 3 kids. She found my secret and again someone told me it wasn't right and I suppressed it. I can't suppress it anymore but, as you I am still trying to figure all this out. As people we make things so complicated. Like coming out to friends and family. Will they understand or won't they? I believe all that matters is are we happy? Other's will accept you or not, hope you find your path that makes you whole and happy!!!! Welcome and feel free to ask on here anything.
Jailyn

You're in the right place. Its a common story.

It probably doesn't matter, but I'd remove the exact date of your birthday.

Welcome, LeeAdam,

It's a difficult situation to be in, but as you are well aware, suppressing it won't work, and you will need to take action of some kind to allow yourself to be free. This is a matter of your human right to be the person you feel you are.

I strongly endorse the suggestion that you seek counselling from an experienced gender therapist. They will be able to help you with finding a way forward, and you must find a way forward as is very clear. Only talking it out with a gender therapist will help you move forward because the issues that need to be resolved are intertwined with many people, above all you.

I too first discussed my long held secret with a psychologist, and I can tell you that it was the best thing I have ever done.


I look forward to see you grow into whatever path you decided to take. The journey will be rocky, but the destination will be worth it.

Take courage, it gets better

Hi Lee.

Dating females and feeling female inside have zero link.
You can be a cisgender who likes the opposite sex, same sex, both sex or neither sex.
Same applies to transgender

Welcome to the site

Hi Lee 

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Hugs

V M

Thank you all for the advise that you have given me and i will deffo go and see a gender specialist as i cant keep suppressing my inner female any more and i need to be free