So I am born male and I also am attracted to women. I know most women have a negative attitude to male crossdressers (this is only an assumption), and I really want to seek out women to date at the same time. I'm not transsexual as far as I know. If I was, I'd probably be thinking about it more often than I am. I might be androgynous for all I know. But I would like to pursue a high level of crossdressing sometimes.

Tl;dr: Should I pursue CDing at all if I want to actively date women at the same time, I'm a straight male, and girls don't like male crossdressers?

Off-subject, but where did that thread about female celebrities/role models go? I'm trying to find it, but it seems to be lost in the forums.

Quote from: redhot1 on April 23, 2017, 02:39:49 PM
So I am born male and I also am attracted to women. I know most women have a negative attitude to male crossdressers (this is only an assumption), and I really want to seek out women to date at the same time. I'm not transsexual as far as I know. If I was, I'd probably be thinking about it more often than I am. I might be androgynous for all I know. But I would like to pursue a high level of crossdressing sometimes.

Tl;dr: Should I pursue CDing at all if I want to actively date women at the same time, I'm a straight male, and girls don't like male crossdressers?

Off-subject, but where did that thread about female celebrities/role models go? I'm trying to find it, but it seems to be lost in the forums.

Hi Redhot1,

I read your post and I understand that you want to date women and that you believe you are a straight male but possibly androgynous. I am assuming you also have a penchant for crossdressing but do not want it to interfere with your relationships with women.  That's the part I do not understand. From the post you sound as though crossdressing is a recreational choice and I suppose for you it could very well be.
  But for myself crossdressing was far more than a choice. There was a time many decades ago where I thought I could stop also but I found out I could not. I did try many time and was successful for various periods of time, a few of them fairly long. But I ALWAYS returned to my shameful activity. And I was ashamed, men did not wear women's clothes period. There was obviously something wrong with me. Today I have come to believe my crossdress was but a symptom of my gender dysphoria. Crossdressing appeased my dysphoria and delayed my discovery that I was really a trans woman that needed to transition. That is why I kept returning to crossdressing as it let me function as a man over those years when I was unaware of my bigger issue. I could not help myself I had to crossdress. It fulfilled a need in me I was not aware of having.
   I do not know what your motivation for crossdressing is and I do not rule out a purely recreational purpose, but if you are like me you will not be able to control it for long. It really has nothing to do with your sexual inclinations. I wasn't gay. I love women. I thought I was straight and actually think I am now though lesbian is probably a more apt description now.

  I'm not a professional and no I do not know you. All I can give you is my experience on the subject and I have. Why? Because what you have posted sounds a lot like me a long long time ago. Perhaps with my input you will think about it more and it might save you some of the hurt and heartache I have had to go through due to my lack of understanding.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

You should pursue crossdressing, or transitioning, or origami, or extreme kite flying if it's what you want to do. When the right person comes along and likes all the things that make you you, it's a beautiful thing. Meeting the other 6,999,999,999....eh, not so much! 

Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: redhot1 on April 23, 2017, 02:39:49 PM
I would like to pursue a high level of crossdressing sometimes.

Have you thought this thru? What's your plan? To date women but hide your "shameful little secret" from them?  Is that fair to you? Or them?

Quote from: redhot1 on April 23, 2017, 02:39:49 PM
So I am born male and I also am attracted to women. I know most women have a negative attitude to male crossdressers (this is only an assumption), and I really want to seek out women to date at the same time. I'm not transsexual as far as I know. If I was, I'd probably be thinking about it more often than I am. I might be androgynous for all I know. But I would like to pursue a high level of crossdressing sometimes.

Tl;dr: Should I pursue CDing at all if I want to actively date women at the same time, I'm a straight male, and girls don't like male crossdressers?

Off-subject, but where did that thread about female celebrities/role models go? I'm trying to find it, but it seems to be lost in the forums.

Are there not dating site's available where you can put up a dating profile that could include the fact you are a crossdresser and see what Kind of reaction you get...you may be surprised...hiding or trying to modify your behaviour is far from a good long term strategy. Would life not be much richer and sweeter for you if you could find someone to accept your crossdressing as part of you.

Admittedly I am transitioning now but before I married my wife of 30 years I told her I was a Crossdresser...she accepted me then and has never stopped loving me. IMHO it is possible...but honesty is paramount for it to work.

Liz

Hi Red,

Everybody has advice, but I believe example is more helpful, beginning with your own. What do you do? Dress only in private, under-dress, dress at night while driving, dress at conventions or in cities away from home, dress in public occasionally, frequently, constantly? Would you like to do so more often? More publicly? 24/7? Do you have a wardrobe or stash of other-gender clothing?

If you do any of these things even some of the time, or just think or fantasize about them, you are indeed a cross dresser. If you don't, you aren't. Now what do you want to do and how are going to get there?

If you decide to actively pursue cross dressing you should first be concerned with your own safety. After safety, your own comfort matters most. So unless you get off by being outrageous, you'll want to look relatively normal. To do that, you'll have to have an understanding of style, makeup, and gender-appropriate dress. If you don't, you'll need advice and guidance. If group you don't have a friend who enjoys helping you, your best bet is to find a local cross-dressing group.

You've probably noticed that I haven't asked what gender presentation you are or want to adopt.
Look around here and you'll find your people.

If she is the right girl, she will not be put off by your fashion choices.
If she is put off, she is not the right girl for you.

I dress AND have a healthy sex life with women. OK, sometimes men too, but the point is, be true to yourself and up-front with everyone.

For most of us crossdressing is not a hobby or something we did on impulse.When I first started, I thought I could just CD for sexual fun but then I realize that i have be surprising something my urge to be real women for years. I have tried giving up CDing twice but each time the urge is stronger and I feel more depressed when I am not dressing. So I embraced my crossdressing side openly.

My advice to you is if do decide to crossdress, do not try to keep that part of your life a secrete from your significant other.

Honestly if youre thinking about it a lot you should do it! Its so freeing to be able to be your inner self!

I think I'll pursue it, maybe not at this moment though. Too much risk living with traditional parents  (though by any means, I wouldn't say they are extremists). Do guys crossdressing even grow out their hair than use a wig? I have hair that gets curly when it grows pretty long.

I've been growing my hair for many years now...most way down my back actually...I have multi-pierced ears as well...
I walk the world in either mode without a problem, either male or  female side, it's just that after being this way for so long, it's all quite normal for me. I am married, many years now. My wife is well aware of my personality, and even helps me with dressing. She actually thinks I'm a better person that way.
The answer from me is, it's all quite possible. My 1st long-term girlfriend was horrified at my cross-dressing so, back into hiding I went for many more years. Then I met the current mrs, and all is well. Proves it can be done, don't lose hope.

Quote from: redhot1 on April 23, 2017, 02:39:49 PM
So I am born male and I also am attracted to women. I know most women have a negative attitude to male crossdressers (this is only an assumption), and I really want to seek out women to date at the same time. I'm not transsexual as far as I know. If I was, I'd probably be thinking about it more often than I am. I might be androgynous for all I know. But I would like to pursue a high level of crossdressing sometimes.

Tl;dr: Should I pursue CDing at all if I want to actively date women at the same time, I'm a straight male, and girls don't like male crossdressers?

Off-subject, but where did that thread about female celebrities/role models go? I'm trying to find it, but it seems to be lost in the forums.

Some girls are confident, some are prude, some are 'straight' and some are not. I am saying there's plenty of variety there, and while you cannot attract each and every girl if you're known crossdresser, you might actually attract girls who are excited about you and accepting about your lifestyle (and you would never had a chance with them as straight alpha macho). So, it's your choice of how you project yourself and who do you attract and who will be your partner, someone who knows and accepts (and maybe loves) your cd, or someone who has no idea about it, and thinks you are someone who you are not (or don't want to be).

Personally, I've got more phone numbers from girls when being out en femme, then when I went out as s guy.
Too bad, I'm married

Should you 'pursue CD'? Probably not unless you know it's something you need to do for yourself and your happiness, I wouldn't recommend to pursue it

Quote from: redhot1 on April 28, 2017, 10:04:45 AM
I think I'll pursue it, maybe not at this moment though. Too much risk living with traditional parents  (though by any means, I wouldn't say they are extremists). Do guys crossdressing even grow out their hair than use a wig? I have hair that gets curly when it grows pretty long.

Yes darling, throw out your stash of clothes and forget about the whole thing, if you can. Just do it well, don't revisit the idea at 40 or 60... If you cannot do it (and how can you be so sure about what will happen in such a long time), do yourself a favor, never have any sex with any women.

Quote from: redhot1 on April 28, 2017, 10:04:45 AM
I think I'll pursue it, maybe not at this moment though. Too much risk living with traditional parents  (though by any means, I wouldn't say they are extremists). Do guys crossdressing even grow out their hair than use a wig? I have hair that gets curly when it grows pretty long.

You might want to consider moving out of your parents' house before you start dating.  Most young women are going to have a bigger problem with that than they are with crossdressing.

"CDing" is probably a lifetime adventure. 
I would suggest a few visits to a gender therapist to help you define your true self and avoid some pain that many of us have lived.  Once you have a handle on your personal needs then all things are possible.  Including a loving relationship with a woman you can be open with. 
At lest you are being your true self.