Hey guys

I am nearly 3 years on T now and have run into a problem. My early days I was always excited to do my shot and encourage more changes on T. Now I know that week to week, there really isn't anything noteworthy, and with my depression I tend to struggle to get motivation to do my shots. I don't have enough of a push to do it every single week. I find myself skipping a shot or two because I just hate being so reliant on a medicine, and I'm sick and tired of shots because I have problems with needles that after 3 years are still bothersome.

I wasn't too worried before because my insurance was supposed to cover them starting July 1 and I wanted to try switching to topicals, but now I'm having problems with the company. It's led to me being forced to pay for surgery out of pocket and this also means it'll be a fight to get hormones covered as well. If I'm still on injections for the foreseeable future, I need advice. How can I motivate myself to do EVERY shot?

Thanks
Dean

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Could always try gel.

I already said insurance won't cover it. I can barely even afford my T now because they jacked up the prices.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Will your insurance cover pellets?

It's really unfair nebido isn't allowed in the US

Insurance won't cover anything "related to sex change" unfortunately. We are fighting but it isn't hopeful

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Quote from: CursedFireDean on June 27, 2017, 03:54:29 PM
Insurance won't cover anything "related to sex change" unfortunately. We are fighting but it isn't hopeful

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Aw sorry to hear that .  Truthfully it takes motivation to put the gel on everyday too and I had a few bad depression days when I couldn't be bothered to put the gel on at all. I sort of dislike having to plan my day to put the gel on at around the same time everyday in order that my energy levels and mood are stable.

Hope you feel better soon man.

Quote from: Elis on June 27, 2017, 04:02:01 PM
Aw sorry to hear that .  Truthfully it takes motivation to put the gel on everyday too and I had a few bad depression days when I couldn't be bothered to put the gel on at all. I sort of dislike having to plan my day to put the gel on at around the same time everyday in order that my energy levels and mood are stable.

Hope you feel better soon man.

Thanks man

I've heard the gel is like that and I wanted to try it because I also take daily meds for depression and joint pain, so taking my other meds would make me feel a little more normal about it, it'll feel just like another daily med. And I'd have no excuse to not do it if I did the other meds. But the injections just take so much prep and it's more awkward to bring up a weekly injection in casual conversation than a daily medication or creme. I think it would just make me feel more normal about being reliant on hormones.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Quote from: CursedFireDean on June 27, 2017, 04:14:54 PM
Thanks man

I've heard the gel is like that and I wanted to try it because I also take daily meds for depression and joint pain, so taking my other meds would make me feel a little more normal about it, it'll feel just like another daily med. And I'd have no excuse to not do it if I did the other meds. But the injections just take so much prep and it's more awkward to bring up a weekly injection in casual conversation than a daily medication or creme. I think it would just make me feel more normal about being reliant on hormones.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Oh right. After a while and on my depression free days it does just feel like any other morning thing I have to do; like brushing my teeth. So yeah does make it feel more normal.

Given I have to do the same thing daily putting things on the face to prevent acne I just add gel to the routine on the body right after, I don't really understand the sense of 'hassle' involved. From the amount of people who post about difficulties with shots it sounds so easy.

Guess it's like anything else, just have to be strict with yourself and set aside a time of day/week to get the shot done. I remember what it's like being in hormone deficit and given how painful that was I treat the hormone thing as more important than daily vitamin tablets, or even food. I know it regulates mood, muscle healing, makes sure no shark weeks manifest, and is causing the changes I want to see happen so I can't afford to be missing it. That's how I motivate. I haven't missed a day in 8 months.

Since developing (genetic) High Blood pressure, I feel the same way about it as I do the pills I take, that its just another thing I do to stay healthy.  I try to take all my meds around the same time every night, so that helps.  Since I'm on the gel, I found a app by the same company that helps me track it, which also helps.

I too haven't missed a dose in 8 months.

Just think, if you don't take your shot, then all the problems you had prior to it may return, the body dyshoria, shark week, (possibly) even some facial feminization.  Its worth it to keep taking the shot.

Good luck with your insurance, I know the insurance situation here in the US is getting stupid with the new administration. [emoji35]

Can your endo list your T/the gel as "hormone replacement?"  Mine does, and it seems to have made it easier.

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

If you have problems with needles do you maybe have someone who could do your shots for you? My dad or brother does mine. Needles don't bother me but I didnt want lumps on my thighs which is where I have to inject it when I do it myself.

Quote from: Julia1996 on June 28, 2017, 10:05:56 AM
If you have problems with needles do you maybe have someone who could do your shots for you? My dad or brother does mine. Needles don't bother me but I didnt want lumps on my thighs which is where I have to inject it when I do it myself.

Thank you for the suggestion!

It's not so much me doing the injections myself that's the problem, it's that I actually get an involuntary response to any needle entering my body. It's not as bad with small needles which is why I do subq shots, but basically my blood pressure drops rapidly which in turn makes me get faint (or even do faint if it's a big needle). Someone else doing it wouldn't really help that, and I think being reliant on someone else would make me feel worse, since it's partially that I feel so "abnormal" for doing shots in the first place. I appreciate the suggestion though!



Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Quote from: CursedFireDean on June 28, 2017, 10:11:03 AM
Thank you for the suggestion!

It's not so much me doing the injections myself that's the problem, it's that I actually get an involuntary response to any needle entering my body. It's not as bad with small needles which is why I do subq shots, but basically my blood pressure drops rapidly which in turn makes me get faint (or even do faint if it's a big needle). Someone else doing it wouldn't really help that, and I think being reliant on someone else would make me feel worse, since it's partially that I feel so "abnormal" for doing shots in the first place. I appreciate the suggestion though!



Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Have you spoken to your doctor about this?  Maybe they have some suggestions, or maybe you have low blood pressure.

Either way, its worrisome. [emoji45]

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on June 28, 2017, 07:12:33 AM
Since developing (genetic) High Blood pressure, I feel the same way about it as I do the pills I take, that its just another thing I do to stay healthy.  I try to take all my meds around the same time every night, so that helps.  Since I'm on the gel, I found a app by the same company that helps me track it, which also helps.

I too haven't missed a dose in 8 months.

Just think, if you don't take your shot, then all the problems you had prior to it may return, the body dyshoria, shark week, (possibly) even some facial feminization.  Its worth it to keep taking the shot.

Good luck with your insurance, I know the insurance situation here in the US i  getting stupid with the new administration.

Can your endo list your T/the gel as "hormone replacement?"  Mine does, and it seems to have made it easier.

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

Thank you for the suggestion!

I've tried reminding myself of all of the changes that aren't permanent, and I do get upset at the thought of losing those changes, but at the same time it hasn't worked in pushing me through the bad depression days. When I'm that bad, it's like a "one shot won't change anything" more than it is an "I'm done with T." Because ultimately at 3 years on T, one shot every once in a while really is meaningless in terms of changes or reverting. I'm trying to find a way to counter that thinking that's strong enough for the depression. It's why I miss only 1 or 2 at a time because when I get to 3, I am able to recognise the higher risk of changes starting to revert and take the shot again. So reminding myself of those things will ultimately work, it just hasn't worked as early as I would like it to.

My doctor has been able to get the hormone testing covered that way (thank the lord) but unfortunately the company is extremely hyperfocused on testosterone. It's easier to get estrogen, but with testosterone though they only cover "men with diagnosed low T" and "women with inoperable breast cancer." I don't have breast cancer so that wouldn't work, and since I can't change my gender in my state right now, they won't cover a diagnosis like "man with low T" either because I am not a man to them. They have left no room for interpretation or vague reasons.

It is technically illegal now for them to be doing this, but I do not have the resources to fight it. The employer who the insurance is through constantly voices that equality is important and, because this is a core value for them, when we brought this exclusion to their attention, they were upset and had no idea the exclusion was there. My hope is that the employer will fight the battle for us, or at least for future employees. I have no doubt that eventually I can switch to the topicals, but when that is, I still have no idea. It could be a few months or it could be when I graduate and get my own job with a company that has inclusive plans.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on June 28, 2017, 10:23:51 AM
Have you spoken to your doctor about this?  Maybe they have some suggestions, or maybe you have low blood pressure.

Either way, its worrisome. [emoji45]

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

I actually have high blood pressure (just barely above normal), that was the first thing we checked. It's apparently just a genetic thing. They don't know why it happens. My dad and sister have it as well- in fact worse. All it really does is make shots and blood draws more of a hassle but it isn't a danger in any other way, as far as medical science knows right now. There's not a ton of research on it.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Quote from: CursedFireDean on June 28, 2017, 10:27:04 AM
Thank you for the suggestion!

I've tried reminding myself of all of the changes that aren't permanent, and I do get upset at the thought of losing those changes, but at the same time it hasn't worked in pushing me through the bad depression days. When I'm that bad, it's like a "one shot won't change anything" more than it is an "I'm done with T." Because ultimately at 3 years on T, one shot every once in a while really is meaningless in terms of changes or reverting. I'm trying to find a way to counter that thinking that's strong enough for the depression. It's why I miss only 1 or 2 at a time because when I get to 3, I am able to recognise the higher risk of changes starting to revert and take the shot again. So reminding myself of those things will ultimately work, it just hasn't worked as early as I would like it to.

My doctor has been able to get the hormone testing covered that way (thank the lord) but unfortunately the company is extremely hyperfocused on testosterone. It's easier to get estrogen, but with testosterone though they only cover "men with diagnosed low T" and "women with inoperable breast cancer." I don't have breast cancer so that wouldn't work, and since I can't change my gender in my state right now, they won't cover a diagnosis like "man with low T" either because I am not a man to them. They have left no room for interpretation or vague reasons.

It is technically illegal now for them to be doing this, but I do not have the resources to fight it. The employer who the insurance is through constantly voices that equality is important and, because this is a core value for them, when we brought this exclusion to their attention, they were upset and had no idea the exclusion was there. My hope is that the employer will fight the battle for us, or at least for future employees. I have no doubt that eventually I can switch to the topicals, but when that is, I still have no idea. It could be a few months or it could be when I graduate and get my own job with a company that has inclusive plans.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

I'm hoping that you're getting help for what (might be clinical) depression.  Maybe you should get checked just to make sure.  It couldn't hurt.  Is there a trans support group near you?  Sometimes it helps to hear other people's struggles, amd they might be able to give you suggestions, or most importantly, encouragement.

Like I've mentioned before, I'm on the gel, so I couldn't tell you if "missing one shot couldn't hurt" or not.  Again, that's something you should talk about with your doctor.  But, any changes that are still happening COULD be taking that much longer because of missed doses.  Again, speak to your doctor about it to be sure.

Is it possible for you to start your name change?  Even though I had to jump through (and am still jumping through) many different hoops, I am recognised as male both by my insurance and by the US government.  Maybe once you are recognised as male, the T (and any surgeries) might get easier to obtain.

Good luck.

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

Quote from: Ryuichi13 on June 28, 2017, 10:45:11 AM

I'm hoping that you're getting help for what (might be clinical) depression.  Maybe you should get checked just to make sure.  It couldn't hurt.  Is there a trans support group near you?  Sometimes it helps to hear other people's struggles, amd they might be able to give you suggestions, or most importantly, encouragement.

Like I've mentioned before, I'm on the gel, so I couldn't tell you if "missing one shot couldn't hurt" or not.  Again, that's something you should talk about with your doctor.  But, any changes that are still happening COULD be taking that much longer because of missed doses.  Again, speak to your doctor about it to be sure.

Is it possible for you to start your name change?  Even though I had to jump through (and am still jumping through) many different hoops, I am recognised as male both by my insurance and by the US government.  Maybe once you are recognised as male, the T (and any surgeries) might get easier to obtain.

Good luck.

Ryuichi

Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

I am in treatment for my depression, I mentioned earlier that I have a daily medication for it

I have spoken to my doctor about all of these concerns

I have my name change complete and it has been for months but my state does not allow gender change until after surgery. Even with the marker changed it would not change the "ftm transgender" diagnosis on record with insurance which falls back to the exclusion on "anything related to sex change"

Thank you for trying to help, I do appreciate it.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

Quote from: CursedFireDean on June 28, 2017, 10:53:30 AM
I am in treatment for my depression, I mentioned earlier that I have a daily medication for it

I have spoken to my doctor about all of these concerns

I have my name change complete and it has been for months but my state does not allow gender change until after surgery. Even with the marker changed it would not change the "ftm transgender" diagnosis on record with insurance which falls back to the exclusion on "anything related to sex change"

Thank you for trying to help, I do appreciate it.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

I somehow missed that you were on meds for your depression already, sorry about that. 

I'm still a big advocate for finding a trans support group.  I can tell you from my personal experience that the people in my local group have helped me greatly, especially when I became discouraged with my insurance and the hoops I had to jump through to get my T.  That's what support groups are for, to help each other through the rough times as well as give advice.

You're lucky when it comes to the gender marker change in your home state.  My home state is one of the few that won't change your gender on your birth certificate, no matter what.  The state I currently live it OTOH, made it easy to change it.

Glad to help, I'm happy to talk to you anytime. [emoji1]

Ryuichi



Sent from my SM-G930P using Tapatalk

Quote from: CursedFireDean on June 28, 2017, 10:11:03 AM

It's not so much me doing the injections myself that's the problem, it's that I actually get an involuntary response to any needle entering my body. It's not as bad with small needles which is why I do subq shots, but basically my blood pressure drops rapidly which in turn makes me get faint (or even do faint if it's a big needle). Someone else doing it wouldn't really help that, and I think being reliant on someone else would make me feel worse, since it's partially that I feel so "abnormal" for doing shots in the first place. I appreciate the suggestion though!

I thought of you today when I was doing my injection. I've only been on T for a month and after reading your post yesterday, it occurred to me that my God I'll be doing this every week for a really long time. I also have the same condition where my blood pressure drops when I get an injection. My doctor called it something with an actual name, but I don't remember it. So far I've been nervous about giving myself the injections, and I just make sure that when I do it, I can lie down if I need to.  I'm doing the injections in my thighs so I guess it's a larger needle.

I also struggle with depression so I can understand how it can be hard to want to do those things to take care of yourself even though you know you 'should', 'need to', 'want to', but sometimes just can't do it.  I am more motivated right now because of making the decision to transition, starting T, and looking forward to top surgery next May. Maybe it will get better once you have the surgery and can put that behind you along with all the insurance crap. I know for myself I can see a lot changing for me after the surgery.  I have to pay for it myself anyway so I don't have to fight with insurance. I have the money saved, but need to the time off work so it has to wait. 

For me, I think the T is going to help me feel more normal than I've ever felt before so while I really am not thrilled doing the injections, it is going to help me just like if I had diabetes and needed insulin.

Quote from: JayBlue on June 28, 2017, 08:42:28 PM
I thought of you today when I was doing my injection. I've only been on T for a month and after reading your post yesterday, it occurred to me that my God I'll be doing this every week for a really long time. I also have the same condition where my blood pressure drops when I get an injection. My doctor called it something with an actual name, but I don't remember it. So far I've been nervous about giving myself the injections, and I just make sure that when I do it, I can lie down if I need to.  I'm doing the injections in my thighs so I guess it's a larger needle.

I also struggle with depression so I can understand how it can be hard to want to do those things to take care of yourself even though you know you 'should', 'need to', 'want to', but sometimes just can't do it.  I am more motivated right now because of making the decision to transition, starting T, and looking forward to top surgery next May. Maybe it will get better once you have the surgery and can put that behind you along with all the insurance crap. I know for myself I can see a lot changing for me after the surgery.  I have to pay for it myself anyway so I don't have to fight with insurance. I have the money saved, but need to the time off work so it has to wait. 

For me, I think the T is going to help me feel more normal than I've ever felt before so while I really am not thrilled doing the injections, it is going to help me just like if I had diabetes and needed insulin.

Thanks man, it's comforting that someone relates. Yeah I can never remember the name of the thing, I've never needed the name because I have to explain it anyways haha.

Hopefully after surgery once all that stress is off me, it'll help. I won't be so mentally exhausted at the very least. And I'll be able to exercise better which sometimes helps me.

Like you said- early on I definitely had the motivation. It's so exciting when you start

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk