So I'm still confused. I still believe I should be a women but the transition period still worries me about being judged. I'm introverted and I believe might have anxiety. Ik transitioning would require being social and coming out but I just don't believe I can do that. I previously mentioned that I came out to 2 best friends and that was really hard and I did it probably in what other people would think was really easy way but it still stresses me out and that was over half a year ago. See my school has GSA club and an anonymous dear aundrey thing that I emailed 2 year ago and my 2 best friends were the president and Vice President. So like 6 months or so ago I told them which message was from me and ya. I know getting a therapist is probably suggested and might help with all of this but I can't afford one without telling my family to use our health care. I've thought about going to the Coast Guard but I feel I couldn't come out there probably either. At this point I just hid, I really hate how I look but I rather hid and be alone then get judged for how I feel. I'm sorry for being everywhere in this post I just don't know what to do and only have 1 year in high school left and need to work out some much stuff like what to do afterwords, what of few dreams to do and etc.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

You don't have to come out at school. I did my first year of hrt my last year of high school. But I didn't come out as trans. I was really androgynous so the changes weren't like really obvious. I just didn't want to come out as trans in high school.  Everyone already thought I was gay and that was already hard enough. Talk to a gender therapist.  If transitioning is what you need to do then start hrt ASAP.  You still are young enough to her really good results from hrt. The results take time so you should be ok at school. If you do have noticeable changes you always can adopt an androgynous look till you graduate. I totally understand how you feel. It's totally scary. When I first transitioned I didn't wanna leave the house. But my dad wouldn't let me do that and took me to public places with him like the mall, etc. I got over it. You will too. There are times when people are gonna say things. You just have to develop kind of tough skin.  Plus you can always do what I did and become a total smartass when people say stuff.

Hugs
Julia

You cannot cook omelette without breaking the eggs first. So, you must decide whether you want the omelette or want to save the eggs.

But omelette is more and more desirable with each day, and eggs are less and less fresh.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

However, I must add that the omelette might happen not as tasty as was envisioned


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: Julia1996 on June 27, 2017, 08:08:57 PM
You don't have to come out at school. I did my first year of hrt my last year of high school. But I didn't come out as trans. I was really androgynous so the changes weren't like really obvious. I just didn't want to come out as trans in high school.  Everyone already thought I was gay and that was already hard enough. Talk to a gender therapist.  If transitioning is what you need to do then start hrt ASAP.  You still are young enough to her really good results from hrt. The results take time so you should be ok at school. If you do have noticeable changes you always can adopt an androgynous look till you graduate. I totally understand how you feel. It's totally scary. When I first transitioned I didn't wanna leave the house. But my dad wouldn't let me do that and took me to public places with him like the mall, etc. I got over it. You will too. There are times when people are gonna say things. You just have to develop kind of tough skin.  Plus you can always do what I did and become a total smartass when people say stuff.

Hugs
Julia

People have already thought i was gay for the past 2 years and my dad has asked me if I was a couple times now. It would be nice to start hrt but where do I get the money? I already have a job but that money is going towards moving out of my mom's because I'm not comfortable living with her and my dad lives to far away from my school. I've just been waiting for people to reply to me about their apartments I saw online.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Quote from: elkie-t on June 27, 2017, 08:36:05 PM
You cannot cook omelette without breaking the eggs first. So, you must decide whether you want the omelette or want to save the eggs.

But omelette is more and more desirable with each day, and eggs are less and less fresh.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

But what if you don't know how to break an egg with out getting parts of the shell in the omelette? Or can't afford eggs


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Talk to your parents and seek gender therapist, or maybe if possible seek gender therapist with parents permission and then tell your parents. Time is critical, the more you grow as man, the harder it will be to undo any.

If your parents would be really unsupportive, then you'd know where they stand at least. They won't disown you for just telling them what you feel.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

If you can't manage full hrt maybe you could just do testosterone blockers.  They won't cause changes but at least they can prevent you from developing any more male characteristics until you get to a point where you can start hrt. If your parents accept you transitioning then their insurance will cover the cost of hrt. My dad's insurance covers all my hrt costs.

Julia

Quote from: elkie-t on June 27, 2017, 11:43:28 PM
Talk to your parents and seek gender therapist, or maybe if possible seek gender therapist with parents permission and then tell your parents. Time is critical, the more you grow as man, the harder it will be to undo any.

If your parents would be really unsupportive, then you'd know where they stand at least. They won't disown you for just telling them what you

I've already stated though that I really just can't come out to my parents. I'm just not capable of doing it. I'm currently the one they expect to go the furthest in life out of my siblings and I really just not capable of telling them

Quote from: Veryconfusedperson on July 03, 2017, 04:43:23 PM

I've already stated though that I really just can't come out to my parents. I'm just not capable of doing it. I'm currently the one they expect to go the furthest in life out of my siblings and I really just not capable of telling them

It's your life honey, but if you don't come out to your parents, then you'll have to hide it from them. Would you want to move away from your parents for 1000 miles, and refuse to call them for no other reason that you cannot tell them the real one? Would you refuse your moms video skips because you have makeup on your face? Would you pretend you're away on a road trip when they show up at your door? Or would you suppress your feminine side because it's not easy to tell your parents?

I did, 20 years later, I'm not really happy about my choice. I know they won't accept the new me, but then - at least they will know why we aren't in contact any more

I totally get that you're scared to tell your parents. But you said your dad has asked you if you're gay a couple of times. If he thinks you're gay do you really think it would be such a shock to find out you're trans? You can't know for sure that your parents won't accept it. What if like Elkie said you move far away from your parents and avoid seeing them? Then like 20-25 years from now they find out anyway and they tell you they wouldn't have had a problem with it. All those years you lost with them are gone forever.  If you are going to lose your parents at least let it be because it's their choice. It would still hurt as much but at least you would know that it wasn't on you.

I was really scared to come out to my parents . Actually I didn't.  My dad pulled me out of the closet. He just came out and asked me if I was trans. After I said yes he asked why I was so surprised that he guessed and that he had only known me my whole life. There is another girl here I a pm with a lot. She is only a year older than me and her parents are paying for her SRS in a couple of months.  Parents can surprise you so don't write yours off unless you absolutely have to. And also remember time is important.  You need to start hrt or at least blockers ASAP.  It makes transition easier the younger you start. You can pm me if there is anything you want to talk about.
Big hugs
Julia

Quote from: Julia1996 on July 04, 2017, 09:41:51 AM
I totally get that you're scared to tell your parents. But you said your dad has asked you if you're gay a couple of times. If he thinks you're gay do you really think it would be such a shock to find out you're trans? You can't know for sure that your parents won't accept it. What if like Elkie said you move far away from your parents and avoid seeing them? Then like 20-25 years from now they find out anyway and they tell you they wouldn't have had a problem with it. All those years you lost with them are gone forever.  If you are going to lose your parents at least let it be because it's their choice. It would still hurt as much but at least you would know that it wasn't on you.

I was really scared to come out to my parents . Actually I didn't.  My dad pulled me out of the closet. He just came out and asked me if I was trans. After I said yes he asked why I was so surprised that he guessed and that he had only known me my whole life. There is another girl here I a pm with a lot. She is only a year older than me and her parents are paying for her SRS in a couple of months.  Parents can surprise you so don't write yours off unless you absolutely have to. And also remember time is important.  You need to start hrt or at least blockers ASAP.  It makes transition easier the younger you start. You can pm me if there is anything you want to talk about.
Big hugs
Julia

Thank you, I'm pretty sure they both be accepting Im just still scared to tell them. I have really less them a year to plan what I'll do for the rest of my life and I'm scared of what to do. Like telling them I felt this way since 5th grade just scares me and even though I told my 2 friends it's still hard to talk to them about it.

Quote from: Veryconfusedperson on July 05, 2017, 12:30:20 AM
Thank you, I'm pretty sure they both be accepting Im just still scared to tell them. I have really less them a year to plan what I'll do for the rest of my life and I'm scared of what to do. Like telling them I felt this way since 5th grade just scares me and even though I told my 2 friends it's still hard to talk to them about it.

As I said, you cannot cook eggs without breaking them. And some egg shelves might fall into the pan and you must take the good and the bad together.

Transition is a long process and there are plenty of safeguards along the way to make absolutely sure you got it what you want.

So if you cannot open up to your parents, why not to start with a psychologist? Although, again time is of the essence here, yet more importantly is not to build you mature life on a sand.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk