There is this guy (I know what you are thinking lol), and he was really into me about 6 months ago, taking me to lunch/movie theaters/we saw Suicide Squad together twice. I bought him a Harley Quinn figure *to get the hint*. He gave me two books. Religious guy, but he told me he doesn't know why no woman likes him in that way (he's a prize my eyes). He gave me his number.

We separated due to work, states far apart.

I sent him a text, this is 6 months since then, and he called me immediately when he receive that text. At that time, I didn't tell him my feelings because I don't want to be known like that. But now, it doesn't matter... cause I'll never see him again if I wanted too.

He wants me to go to the country he is at, to be with him. He also offer to have me live with him too (in a few years from now). We work for the same company, so theoretically it wouldn't be THAT hard to make it happen.

I want to tell him I like him a lot, but I don't if he'll be okay with it *50/50 gut feeling*.... in way I know this couldn't ruin me at least, it would cut to the point.

Honesty is the best policy, especially if you are going to another country to live with him. If you tell him later and it doesn't work out, it could have bad effects on your careers and personal lives. Maybe one of you can visit the other beforehand and deliver the news then. It would be better done in person , imo, if he's that serious.


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Yes


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Yes, let him know. He'll either disappear for good or stay for life


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I would tell him as if you are starting  a  new life with him ya I think he deserves  to know

Definitely yes. Be honest, he deserves it, you deserve it.

It depends.  You can do it now and get it out of the way. Or live with thinking the question to yourself 'Should I tell him I'm transgender?' in your internal dialog every time you're with him.  It won't go away.

Also, if you do tell him then there will be at least one person in your company where you work who knows the truth.

Quote from: Jane Emily on June 28, 2017, 11:57:10 AM
It depends.  You can do it now and get it out of the way. Or live with thinking the question to yourself 'Should I tell him I'm transgender?' in your internal dialog every time you're with him.

I think he'd find out sooner or later. Then feel lied to. If Wild Flower is pre op, then it's unavoidable!

And finding out that way has lead to violence. [emoji53]


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Quote from: RavenMoon on June 28, 2017, 12:41:12 PM
I think he'd find out sooner or later. Then feel lied to. If Wild Flower is pre op, then it's unavoidable!

And finding out that way has lead to violence. [emoji53]


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Good point, sadly that does happen

Quote from: Wild Flower on June 28, 2017, 08:10:47 AM
He wants me to go to the country he is at, to be with him.

Aren't you still presenting as male? Doesn't he just think you are gay?
Would he still be interested in you as a female?

Also...
Can you legally live and work in that country?
Can you continue your transition there?
What are you going to do if it doesn't work out with him?

Quote from: KarynMcD on June 28, 2017, 02:52:57 PM
What are you going to do if it doesn't work out with him?

Yep... I'd never do that for someone I hardly knew.  Bad idea.


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Quote from: KarynMcD on June 28, 2017, 02:52:57 PM
Aren't you still presenting as male? Doesn't he just think you are gay?
Would he still be interested in you as a female?

Also...
Can you legally live and work in that country?
Can you continue your transition there?
What are you going to do if it doesn't work out with him?

He has to think I'm gay... but I honestly don't know what goes on in his head. But he is attractive to women (and me? supposedly). The only reason why I think he's into me is because he wants me to live with him, why else??? He doesn't claim he is gay... but it sure looks like it. (cause I present myself as a guy until leave my job here)

I can work in that country, I can get my company to transfer me over there. I can continue everything like normal. If it doesn't work out, I'll just enjoy the country while I am there and my job.

I will tell him if he suggest me again to live with him.  I have good insurance where they would even pay for gender reassignment surgery.

Quote from: RavenMoon on June 28, 2017, 04:28:23 PM
Yep... I'd never do that for someone I hardly knew.  Bad idea.


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My desperation for marriage is very strong.... but only if he will love me then I will go.

I would even transition because I will feel comfortable then.

Quote from: Wild Flower on June 28, 2017, 07:52:32 PM
My desperation for marriage is very strong.... but only if he will love me then I will go.

I would even transition because I will feel comfortable then.

Not a good idea. I was married for 10 years to someone I knew very well. And it still didn't work out.

You can't force someone you hardly know to love you. You can't force stuff like this. Don't be desperate. Wait for the right person.

I've been single since my divorce in 2011. And I'm just fine.


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Tell him. He already knows about part of you. Telling him may increase relations between you and him, unless he is strictly gay. If he is strictly gay, then you deserve someone willing to be with you as a woman. Of course, trying to stay in male made to be with a guy will only increase your dysphoria, and make you miserable.

It can be tough , but honesty is the best path, b ecause jf your not honest it will just come back to haunt you.

I decided I will tell him everything in one text message. I'll sent it in about 5-10 minutes. If he declines, I will move on. If he's fine, then we might have something.

I can't keep thinking about him, I need him to go away or come back.

Quote from: Lady Sarah on June 28, 2017, 09:24:29 PM
Tell him. He already knows about part of you. Telling him may increase relations between you and him, unless he is strictly gay. If he is strictly gay, then you deserve someone willing to be with you as a woman. Of course, trying to stay in male made to be with a guy will only increase your dysphoria, and make you miserable.

He confuses me. He's straight = into women lol.

Quote from: Wild Flower on June 28, 2017, 09:56:02 PM
I decided I will tell him everything in one text message. I'll sent it in about 5-10 minutes. If he declines, I will move on. If he's fine, then we might have something.

I can't keep thinking about him, I need him to go away or come back.

So how did it go?

He did not respond yet. I'll give it a week of time, and then I'll forget about the whole thing lol.