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Can't win

Started by Itsdone, June 29, 2017, 12:26:09 AM

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Itsdone

I just can't seem to win with the LGBT community.
Lesbians seam to hate me because I'm pretty.
I get accused of being transphobic for being stealth.
Gay men think I am just super gay.

I swear I get more respect from my CIS friends who know about my past.
I'm accused of being privileged because I could have all the surgeries.
When in fact I lost everything in order to do it.

And God help me because I take selfies because I happen to feel and look pretty.

I am sure that if I become well known and it may happen the attacks won't come from CIS people but from the LGBT folks.

Never thought that would be the issue.
It will be just like what Jenner went through.
So why the hell should I care.
It's done and I am done
Staying stealth and if my career breaks I am staying out of all politics.
It's a no win situation
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bobbisue

 I'm sorry you have had so much trouble In the community I dont resent you for being stealth It is probably not an option for me ever but anyone who can pass deserves to be able to make that choice, being resented is something that happens to all beautiful women but it still sucks   
   Just be yourself and try to forget the haters 

   bobbisue :)
[ gotta be me everyone else is taken ]
started HRT june 16 2017              
Out to all my family Oct 21 2017 no rejections
Fulltime Dec 9 2017 ahead of schedule
First pass Dec 11 2017
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MissKairi

Haha yup I know, sucks doesnt it?
But try to not to stress about it too much, the only people'sopinions you should respect are those who are important to you
Let's see where this journey takes me.
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Lisa_K

If being stealth is transphobic, then you're going to have to get in line behind me.

I hear what you're saying. Been there, done that. In the past, I've also experienced the added acrimony of transitioning as a teenager. I'm fine with being out online anonymously and giving it a try but in the real world, life is a lot more simple for me in cisgenderland where nobody knows anything.
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LizK

In Australia we call it Tall Poppy syndrome

As soon as you stick your head up and achieve something special you get attacked and torn down. It happens a lot in the media...People get jealous because they can't have what others have and tear them down simply because of how well things have gone for them. They never give much thought to what the individual has had to do to achieve their current position and quite often see it as luck or privilege, where in actual fact it is usually hard work and sacrifices.
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Tammy Jade

Quote from: ElizabethK on June 29, 2017, 03:18:46 AM
In Australia we call it Tall Poppy syndrome

As soon as you stick your head up and achieve something special you get attacked and torn down. It happens a lot in the media...People get jealous because they can't have what others have and tear them down simply because of how well things have gone for them. They never give much thought to what the individual has had to do to achieve their current position and quite often see it as luck or privilege, where in actual fact it is usually hard work and sacrifices.

Very True.


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- Tamara Jade

** The Meaning of Life?? Is to find the Meaning of Life **
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elkie-t

The world is bigger than LGBT community, who cares about them?


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Gertrude

Yeah...


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Julia1996

Since I transitioned the gay friends I had all became distant and they don't talk to me anymore. Then once this gay guy at work was talking about pride parades and asked if I liked them. I told him I had never been to one. He said he figured that and that I needed to "remember my roots" and stop acting like I was suddenly straight and better than gay people. He stomped away before I could tell him I didn't go to parades because I can't be in sunlight for long periods. I wish I could. The parades seem really fun. It's pretty sad that I only lost 1 straight friend after transition but lost ALL my gay friends. I didn't see that coming.
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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elkie-t

Quote from: Julia1996 on June 29, 2017, 09:20:07 AM
Since I transitioned the gay friends I had all became distant and they don't talk to me anymore. Then once this gay guy at work was talking about pride parades and asked if I liked them. I told him I had never been to one. He said he figured that and that I needed to "remember my roots" and stop acting like I was suddenly straight and better than gay people. He stomped away before I could tell him I didn't go to parades because I can't be in sunlight for long periods. I wish I could. The parades seem really fun. It's pretty sad that I only lost 1 straight friend after transition but lost ALL my gay friends. I didn't see that coming.
Guys are friends with girls only if they find them at least a bit attractive as potential sex partners. You aren't attractive to gay guys anymore, they cut their losses and stopped investing their time in hanging with you.
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undautri

Anyone can be mean, no matter what group they're from.
  Never take having something in common as a sign they're going to be nice to you. It's also good to remember that while being gay is widely accepted now, being trans is still controversial. Polls are still showing people are still 50/50 about whether or not people see trans women as "real" women, and similar numbers about whether or not ->-bleeped-<- is a mental disorder of some kind (and can therefore be "cured")
  While things are looking up for us trans people, there is still a long way to go until you don't lose something when you come out.
kindest regards possible,
Clay
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elkie-t

#11
Well, it was a t that started the whole LGBT movement. Without us, they would still be hiding.
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Itsdone

#12
Quote from: elkie-t on June 30, 2017, 10:00:06 AM
Well, it was a t that started the whole LGBT movement. Without us, they would still be hiding.

I suppose your right. Of course when I was a kid I did not even know what the word transgender was or had ever heard it.
Thinking I was the only one on earth .. LOL.. finding out later I was not alone.

It is a social battle to be sure but should not even be an issue. Just like a child born with any issue at all we should be respected and deserve the same treatment any human does.
Socially the mostly religious right and right wing of the republicans want to use us to gen up their base.
So being in the light is a good and bad thing.
The battle IMO should be won in the medical community.
It should not be a social issue but one of medical concern.
No one questions a child born with a deformity. Or a disease. They treat them with respect and look for ways to help them live better lives.


One thing for sure if for some reason I end up on a national stage for something I will stay out of politics. I just want to live my life and help when I can behind the scenes. Just look at Jenner.. she can't win ...
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