About three weeks ago I wore a black blouse that, in my opinion, is pretty feminine.  Apparently it's not.  That day I was misgendered all day.  I swore I wouldn't wear it again until after FFS/BA.  Well fast forward to late last night when I realized I had nothing clean except, yep you guessed it, that black blouse.

Well, I wore it today and damn it if the guard in the first building I went into said "good morning, SIR". I mumbled "really?" And took 5 steps past him, stopped, went back and said "excuse more.  Good morning is a better greeting than good morning sir.  I'm transgender and that is actually pretty insulting." He was apologetic and understanding.  They replied "thank you for letting me know."

Maybe I made the world a little better place this morning for another sister/brother in the area.  Not only that but now I won't dwell on it all day.

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That was just totally rude! Sorry but I don't buy it that he just made a mistake. Looking at your avatar picture you sure don't look like a Sir. Anyone with the common sense of a potato knows better. It sounds like he was trying to mean on purpose. I wonder how HR would feel about him harassing you?

Quote from: Julia1996 on June 29, 2017, 08:37:02 AM
That was just totally rude! Sorry but I don't buy it that he just made a mistake. Looking at your avatar picture you sure don't look like a Sir. Anyone with the common sense of a potato knows better. It sounds like he was trying to mean on purpose. I wonder how HR would feel about him harassing you?

It was a building I was cutting through, not mine.  He was sincerely nice about it and was apologetic so I sensed no malice in it.  We'll see what happens the next time I cut through there.

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My guess is that if it is the same guard it will be a simple good morning.  I doubt that he meant to be insulting and his response when you confronted him confirms that.  Good on you for not simply ignoring the comment and going on your way.  I don't get sirred much any more, but when it happens deameanor means everything.  I usually smile and say "Nope, I'm not Peppermint Patty," or something like that.  Most people are neither intentionally rude nor are they espcially trans-phobic.  Some are, and those I ignore.  There is not much point in doing anything else.

Peace,
JB

Black color hides volumes... maybe your girls aren't as visible in black top as in white one? Some bright lipstick and accessories might tip the scales back to definitely feminine territory


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Quote from: elkie-t on June 29, 2017, 09:46:48 AM
Black color hides volumes... maybe your girls aren't as visible in black top as in white one? Some bright lipstick and accessories might tip the scales back to definitely feminine territory


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I totally agree.  And today I didn't put on a lick of makeup.  I really don't blame the guard since I expect to get sir'd all day.  I just didn't want to make it the first greeting of the day. 

Looking back I really don't blame him.

Oh well, other battles to fight.

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I find it incredibly rare to get called "sir". The top you wear can make a difference. I threw away a few that invoked " sir" over the years.

I don't leave the house without makeup and I still get called sir. It drives me nuts. Some people know to use the feminine pronouns, but a lot don't. When it happens I either ignore it, or ask politely for them to use the female pronouns. Most are apologetic, and remember it the next time they see you.

Update: I decided to go through the same building this morning.  Same security guard.  They didn't react to me being there, so as I walked by I said "good morning." And he replied the same.  I spun around and said, "thank you, much better."

However only a moron could get it wrong today with what I'm wearing. 

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I've found in several places that the antidote to being called "sir" is...boobies!  Anywhere I've been called "sir" when I was wearing a T shirt and smooth bralette underneath, on the next visit I wore a deep V neck top and a push up bra, and -- no more being called "sir!"  I don't get called ma'am either, folks just drop the gendered appellation, but that is far better than getting sirred.

Having the girls visible seems to do quite a number on guys' instincts for some reason.  I've found nothing else -- butt, legs, heels, or hair, even --  seems to make as much a difference in a guy's momentary evaluation of gender the way a pair of bewbs will.

I don't have enough data to say whether a leg show will have equal effect, but I have noticed when wearing shorts out and about in hot weather, the shorter they are, the more likely I am going to be gendered female, especially by other women.