Hello I am Preop and transition closeted FTM. I go by my legal name maranda.this my fourth time trying to openly transgender. First time was when i was 12, then 16, then 17, and now.
My first attempt to come out to my parents led them to point out every girly thing about me and tell i would never pass My second attempt they told me i was fishing for attention because I didn't have friends and the latest one was I am again lonely and am latching to the first crazy idea i can cling to
My parents and therapist are LDS and constantly tell me my gender feeling aren't real because i am attracted to men , like pink and womens clothing everytime i bring it up my mom tells me i am ruining her life and she is now so stressed she can't sleep
I am married though I know i would leave my family and husband to transition. They have threatened to register me as invaliid when i tried to leave and told me i was to unstable to know how i felt. I am trying to cope and I hope through here i can get the strenght to transistion and come out to my parents and face the black lash with out fear so thank you

I have a little knowledge about the LDS so I understand the pressure they are placing on you to remain in the feminine role. Some day it most likely come down to rejecting the church and family but for now, your best bet would be working towards becoming independent as you may have to make a clean break from everything that you know. This most likely would mean finishing your education and putting enough savings aside in your own name so you can move into a life free of church and family. If it's like many of us, it will be desperation and not strength that will push you into a transition and as you don't know when it will happen, it's best to be prepared.

Hi Koreanmochi 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hello Mochi

I want you to know that we are hear for you

When you need to step over and be yourself you will.

You may have to cut ties but remember you have to do what is best for you


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Hello Mochi -

Welcome to Susans. I am very sorry about your struggles.

In my old life, through work I have met many LDS members and I have spent a lot of time in Salt Lake City. I am no expert by any means but given my situation I did some research on the question of LDS stand on Transgender.

I made a lot of friend in the LDS community and I am worried how they would perceive my change (MTF) since I do value their friendship a lot. I have not come out to them yet, but I do see that at least one of them has been posting about gay and transgender church members every now and then.

While there is still a long way to go for full acceptance, overall LDS has opened up about gay and lesbians quite bit and they also openly discuss transgender. Every ward, bishop and families is different and your situation may be a whole lot more complicated. And while I do have many Mormon friends, there is still a lot which concerns me about the church doctrine and their standing on several issues.

I do have a few links for you I found during my research which may help:

Mormon Stories (not an official church site) - in this episode Transgender church members share their experience
http://www.mormonstories.org/mormon-transgender-experiences/

Affirmation - Mormon families and friends (there are also links to facebook support groups for trans Mormons)
https://affirmation.org

and then the official church site (unfortunately not covering much trans* issues)
https://mormonandgay.lds.org

Given your special situation, at some point you may have to make a very hard decision and break with the church. I truly hope you can work out something which allows you family to accept the new you.

My recommendation would be to find a non LDS Therapist as a first step. 

Fell free to reach out via PM if you want.

Hugs -

Sarah

Hey Mochi! A warm welcome. It sounds like you have been on a rough ride. Don't despair, there are pathways into the sunshine from where you currently are.

Sarah posted some good links. I came across the https://affirmation.org/transgender/ website earlier today and did some reading there, plus watched some of the videos on that site. It is very encouraging, because there are many who have been where you are now.

I'm a bit disappointed that your therapist denies transgender people's experiences. That's the first thing I would change: your therapist.

Take courage, you are not alone and it will get better

Welcome Mochi!

If I need to fix my teeth I won't be going to an eye doctor.  If the therapist your parents found doesn't understand the difference between gender preference and gender identity, then by definition that therapist is not qualified to analyze and recommend a solution for your well being. 

I know you are in a difficult situation, but you have already taken an awesome and brave step by introducing yourself here.  I have found this site and the people here to be an excellent resource, and I wish the same for you.

If a local transgender support group exists in your town, consider going to the next meeting - I think you will be glad you did. 

Well welcome my friend!!! I am also an LDS trans and it is not easy to stay in the church while they pretty much shun us, saying this a choice and God doesn't make mistakes. I totally know where you are coming from and I served a mission and all the little mormon boy things to do. Here I have found a comradery with the others on here. So yes, you have a voice here and an outlet.