Ugh this is a tricky post to write,  but here goes. I've just introduced myself in the introduction section to the forum by the way!

I have been dating a lovely lady for  a little while now. She is m2f. We have been taking things slowly because for us that is just what feels right. Neither of us want to rush this.

Anyway, I think things may be heading towards the bedroom department soon and this gorgeous woman is preop. I'm a lesbian and so is she. I don't know how to approach my feelings of nervousness towards the penis she has which is yet to be removed. I mean, I don't even want to mention it because I'm certain she feels even more awkward than I do and that just breaks my heart because it's not her fault, you know?!

You all can read and get what I'm trying to say, I'm sure. Please can you help me. I don't want to screw this up. She so special.

It's probably better not to leave it til you're actually in the moment -- talk to her about it and ask what she's comfortable with, how she refers to her body, and what she likes to do, and explain what you feel comfortable with. Communication is usually key with these things... make it clear that you don't want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn't want (and that likewise you don't want to end up doing things that make you feel awkward)

it might be an uncomfortable conversation, but that's better than one of you accidentally upsetting the other later on?

Communication for sure. Perhaps by now you have an idea how she feels about the dangly bits. While it may be difficult not to see them, they may not be a factor beyond that. In general it is safe to assume she is far from fond of them but..... you never know unless you talk about things a little ahead of time so as to avoid hurt feelings or misunderstandings in a heightened emotional state

This is exactly what I had thought would be the best way to move forward. I just needed to double check. The absolute last thing on my mind is to upset.
Thankyou so much for your input. It has helped me a lot.

Quote from: KittyKatKatie on April 15, 2017, 02:13:04 AM
Ugh this is a tricky post to write,  but here goes. I've just introduced myself in the introduction section to the forum by the way!

I have been dating a lovely lady for  a little while now. She is m2f. We have been taking things slowly because for us that is just what feels right. Neither of us want to rush this.

Anyway, I think things may be heading towards the bedroom department soon and this gorgeous woman is preop. I'm a lesbian and so is she. I don't know how to approach my feelings of nervousness towards the penis she has which is yet to be removed. I mean, I don't even want to mention it because I'm certain she feels even more awkward than I do and that just breaks my heart because it's not her fault, you know?!

You all can read and get what I'm trying to say, I'm sure. Please can you help me. I don't want to screw this up. She so special.

That was how I expected to feel too! We've only been intimate for about five days.

I planned a little speech about "I'll just act like nothing is there and your body is your body and I don't want to hurt you..."

But then I blurted out, "You know, I used to really love that. I just didn't like the people attached."

She decided that she's currently comfortable using all current anatomy, as it's an intro to her future clitoris (which will be internal as needed in about a year).

It's amazing for us.

I had to re-orient myself a bit, though...

I think I'm pansexual, as I'm deeply attracted to the person and less concerned about the genitalia. (I like what's there now, I see it as future-female-genetalia, and I can't wait to worship her post op body too.)


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If things go to the bedroom, why just not go there and let things happen? Your partner is very unlikely to even draw any attention to her body problems (penis) and she probably would want to play more with your vagina than allow you to play with her ... you can focus on her upper region and it would feel great to your partner. And if I am wrong and things go into awkward direction, then you will be able to discuss it without offending her. And you always can say no


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