Some of you know me in the chat, but... found out I had a rather large cyst that's pressing on my brain stem & left cerebellum.  Turns out this can cause hormone imbalances and sexual development issues.  Since its congenital (from birth), this probably explains why my 'stuff' was unusual downstairs, my secondary sex characteristics only went through 2 of the tanner stages (until after HRT). 

The only symptom of this was an enlarged head at birth, poor gait, headaches, some visual disturbances/nausea.  I guess I'm writing yall so put this on your list of things to check for possibilities.  But my worry ... did this cyst actually make me want to be me?  See what I'm saying... especially if it messes up your hormones from the natal environment. 

I'm post op, and there's like a ... well 100% chance I won't go back lmao.  I like being a girl way too much   but this is just yet another 'worry'.  And would this make me intersexed? Transexual? or just screwed from birth..   Gah!

I'd suggest that you just identified another medical issue that contributed to making you what you are today.  Lots of us had medical issues that drove us onto our particular paths.

Without that issue, would you have followed your particular path?  Nobody can really say if we would or wouldn't, and it doesn't really matter. 

How we found ourselves on our path through life is a matter of curiosity, but we are here, now.  It is from here and now that we have to choose our path forward in life.  The past is interesting, to be sure, but also immutable.  Spending time and energy contemplating the past distracts us from being in our present and choosing our next steps on the path wisely.

This medical history stuff can be frightening or scary, but it does not invalidate who we are today.  We are the sum of all our past life, all the events that color it, all the genetics, biology, education, and life experience we have up until now.

Don't let one thing from the past dominate your future.

It sounds like you are happy as yourself now.  Don't sacrifice any happiness for the dead and frozen past, or a quest for the right label to hang around your neck.  You're Doreen, and you like yourself as you are.  That's a great place to be.

I can agree with that... problem is the headaches & gate issues I still have related to this congenital problem. I also suspect its getting bigger (evidenced by non-relenting headaches).  Probably gonna have to get it fixed eventually before I start seizing from it.  On the bright side, it gave me more of a 'blank slate' gender wise to work off of. 

Quote from: Doreen on July 04, 2017, 06:33:47 PM
I can agree with that... problem is the headaches & gate issues I still have related to this congenital problem. I also suspect its getting bigger (evidenced by non-relenting headaches).  Probably gonna have to get it fixed eventually before I start seizing from it.  On the bright side, it gave me more of a 'blank slate' gender wise to work off of.

Yeah.  These growths can be really troublesome from the physical pressure they can put on stuff we really need, our thinky bits.   I wish there were meds to shrink them, but they're just bags of fluid, and need some sort of surgical decompression.

I've got a prolactinoma sitting in my optic chasm.  So, being asked if I have any double vision, difficulty in focusing, and such are regular events on any doctor visit, and I get an annual measurement via MRI.  At least it's got a cellular metabolism and can be targeted by drugs.