I've been questioning my gender for months now. My closest friends and my boyfriend know and I've told most of them to use she/her until further notice. The problem is I'm still just so confused. I keep doubting my gender whether I think I'm a guy or girl. My dysphoria only got bad recently AFTER I started questioning making me think I'm wrong about everything. Now I'm just more confused than ever and I don't think I can just go back to being an average guy anymore. I just need to know if this kind of mental turbulence is a normal thing or if I'm just trying to force myself into someone I'm not.

Seek out a gender therapist! Doubts suck, but they can work with you to get rid of them and live the life you deserve!!

Thanks but I'm more looking for a "yes that's normal" or "no that's not normal"

Yes, doubts are totally normal.  Everyone gets them. 

I still have "WTF am I doing?" moments, and I am five months on HRT and two months full-time.  I totally love being the real me and I would not go back for anything.  And yet, from time to time, this voice in my head wonders if it would all be easier if I just went back to the way I was.  These days, I just smack it down and carry on, since I know that that voice lies.  But, yeah, we all get those moments.

Like Kathy said, they are very normal. Everyone gets them. As what was said to me months ago, doubt is a product of a sane mind. It means you are thinking it through and not going on whim.

Now, get into see a gender therapist

Quote from: AlexisM on July 05, 2017, 01:22:18 PM
I've been questioning my gender for months now. My closest friends and my boyfriend know and I've told most of them to use she/her until further notice. The problem is I'm still just so confused. I keep doubting my gender whether I think I'm a guy or girl. My dysphoria only got bad recently AFTER I started questioning making me think I'm wrong about everything. Now I'm just more confused than ever and I don't think I can just go back to being an average guy anymore. I just need to know if this kind of mental turbulence is a normal thing or if I'm just trying to force myself into someone I'm not.

Let me tell you that it is normal. You are not alone. In fact I came here today looking for a thread like this because I'm in one of those periods right now, since last Monday I've been feeling like crap, doubting everything, wondering if I'm making a mistake...I'm also out to almost everyone close to me including my boyfriend and 1 month on T blockers. These doubts are terrible! But hang in there, you are not alone. Care to talk outside the forum? If you have whatsapp or imessage we can definitely talk. I can use a friend who is going through the exact same stage I'm at.

To doubt is to be human.

Thanks for all yalls help. It mean alot

Alexis, I don't know how old you are, and I know that it's no fun being confused, but my reaction to your post is: Slow down!  What's the hurry?  Give yourself time to explore and experience.  Be confident that what is right for you will eventually just feel right.  I don't think it will come through counseling.  Instead, I suspect it will come fro experimenting with dressing and living as a woman.  It has taken me years (not that I'm recommending that anyone emulate my struggle) to figure out that I am transgender.  I'd not even heard that word until I was near 40 years old.  Let yourself live and experience being you.  Your true gender will naturally emerge--you won't have to force it!!! Nancy

Both doubting yourself and not fully realizing the extent of your dysphoria until after it gets put on your radar are super normal. Therapy will help you sort out whats going on and determine - if you are trans - whether or not transitioning is right for you, and to what extent it might be necessary. Therapy even helped me to start seeing all of the pieces and connecting the dots to events all the way back to my earliest memories. I've been realizing more and more that it wasn't that I didn't experience dysphoria before, I used to just be really good at blocking it out. Turns out repression, suppression, and denial are really great coping mechanisms for as long as they work, but once they fail you're SOL.

I would say that if you didn't question everything about being transgender that you would be abnormal.  I don't think you will find a single person who has posted here that didn't question all of this.

The thing I've learned (on HRT +8 months) is cis people never think about their gender.   When I asked my wife how often she thought about her gender, her response was never but went on to say the entire concept of not being female was totally foreign. 

It's like fish, do they think about the water?  Transgender people think about it; cis people do not.

Since going full-time I've not once regretted it.  Sure there are uncomfortable times (socially) but over all the best decision I've ever made.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk

AlexisM,

Welcome to the site. Sorry this is so late. Looks like everyone took the good answers.

I would add that perhaps you are not at one end or the other of the spectrum... 

Yup, we all doubt ourselves.

I also second the gender therapist idea. They help guide you through the trans maze. Helps to see where you live.

Additionally, I want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Jacqui