Inspiration to girls who think 'real' straight guys will never accept them...

Hi Girls,

I'm back for a while. Dunno if some of you remember me and my stories and scandalous life in 2014 and my dramatic story of escaping my 3rd world country in 2011 and taking a huge risk leaving Europe to go to Thailand for SRS in 2014 and how I escaped many airports as Zurich without proper European papers and trying to come back again to Europe with expired visas.

Anyways I've left prostitution since mid 2016 and I've got recently married with a man. I got scammed 2 times by paying supposed friends to marry and legalize me in Europe but finally came a guy who loved me for real.

STORY

So I'm from Spain but was going up and down in France escorting cos Spain is not worth. I was moving up and down WITHOUT PAPERS and sometimes police stopped me in France whether in train stations on in hotel with clients as hotel managers report me when they catch me. I always manage to escape by my poliglot talents. I can speak and neutralize accents of the language I speak. So my excuse was I forgot my ID and gave them fake datas always.

Coming back to my husband story...so I met a super handsome macho homophobic straight guy around mid 2015 and when I was in full life of escorting. Once we were walking on the streets to go watch a movie and he saw some other T Girls on the streets and said 'WTF are these disgusting creatures'. And some other times was making bag jokes on gay people. OMG I was seriously so scared that one day I'd end up getting beaten. (In Spain and other western europe countries it's not the culture to kill as in other countries when clocked but rather beat only)

So as I was post-op, he didn't know anything but after 6 months things were getting very heavy. He neither knew I was trans nor escort. He was falling too seriously and deeply in love with me. Every time I would go France he was sad and I told him I worked supposedly in some temporary jobs. But he started doubting I was escort as every time I came back I was always walking with great bag brands and he sees tons of very expensive perfumes in my room and the TONE he asked me 'how much your perfumes and bags cost I already knew he was doubting and I was right.

We were in an open relationship that time and I've NEVER been in what's a closed relationship in my entire life. The most I could sustain was maximum 2 months and that too forcing myself. I'm too slutty to remain with one person. So he kept on insisting it was now time to close the relationship as he was too much in love with me. I kept on retaining the maximum I could knowing how huge slut & whore I was. But anyways finally I ceded and gave it a try. A try to become a 'normal person' as everyone else. So before closing the relationship I thrashed out truth. I was petrified he would beat me and I had no idea whatsoever how he was gonna take this. So I was beating around the bush again and again and again speaking between the lines of the big secret but he was not grasping anything AT ALL. He rather thought I had a child in France which I was going to see now and then but he doubted the escort thing.

IT'S TERRIBLE TO THRASH OUT 2 HUGE AND SCANDALOUS SECRET OF BEING TRANS & PROSTITUTE AT THE SAME

So I said I'd rather go with the trans thing first cos it was my great concern. It's easier for a straight to accept a female prostitute than a transsexual. So I said I'd go with the most difficult one first. Cos if he accepts this one he might definitely accept the second one too. So there I threw myself in the water. I kept on asking...'DId you ever have any doubt about me about something?'. He said no then I told him well...I'm a girl who was born with defects. It took him a while to realize then said 'OMG no, not that...please'. In the beginning he thought it was a bad joke and in fact was even laughing but soon the laugh would stop...then I thrashed out directly and told him 'I was not born a genetic girl'. He told me 'WHAAAAAAT'...This can't be...you're too feminine to be one and almost absolutely nothing that can notice, you look nothing like those drag queens standing on the streets. (Here they have a mentality that all trans look like the typical obvious girls seen on TV or reality shows). He was breathing heavily and I started crying hysterically as I was scared he would leave me now, I told him if you go I'd probably kill myself. (IN MY ENTIRE LIFE NEVER DID I FEEL LOVED LIKE THIS). I asked him what would you do now? He wouldn't reply AT ALL NOR EVEN SAY A WORD. HE KEPT ON BREATHING HEAVILY FOR 2 HOURS IN SILENCE. (We were on the bed). I kept on convincing him and telling him 'What difference does it make, A FEW HOURS AGO I WAS THE SAME PERSON. AND THERE'S NOT REALLY A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ME AND A GENETIC GIRL EXCEPT OF HAVING KIDS AND MANY GENETIC GIRLS ARE STERILE TOO, YOU'D ABANDON ME IF I WAS A STERILE GENETIC GIRL? Then he told me 'Look I'm blinded I don't know what to say, give me time to think about it'. I got scared when he left like those other guys who left and evaded diplomatically and never came back. (That's why I became STEALTH in the past, even as pre-op I was stealth (except for clients and I put I was only passive on my escort ads. I couldn't stand ->-bleeped-<-s who would wanna touch my junk let alone penetrate them yucks) I was on tenterhooks for 3 days and he called me back and told we need to talk. He came back and I thought he'd say like 'Sorry I can't, it's too hard, I'm straight, my family wont accept' etc...typical classical excuses. But he told me look, I love you so much to leave you and as you have vagina that's all what counts for me. I will play blind on your past.

He never presented me to his parents and family even uptil today, scared someone in his family with sharp radar clocks me as his family are very homophobic and traditional. More his cousins who about talk ->-bleeped-<- about gays etc...He's scared he'd become a laughing stock. Me and his parents always speak on phone but never meet.

Anyways, now the 'second huge secret' of being escort pffff. I let like 2 weeks sink for him to digest the 1st huge blow and then I thrashed the second one. He told me 'Listen I could accept and made a huge effort for the 1st one but the 2nd one is IMPOSSIBLE TO MAINTAIN IN THE LONG RUN WHATSOEVER. (He is a one-to-one strictly monogamous for serious relationship). I told him listen I needed money urgently to go back to my country as my passport was expiring and there's no way to renew it except returning back to that pit hell. He told me it's ok it's the 'final time I permit you to do this and when you come back 'I'll fix your life'.

With all fear of the world I when back to my ->-bleeped-<-ty country with all those VILE people there and thanks God I managed to renew my passport with my actual face but name and gender remained the same. (Before all was male even face and they wouldn't renew unless expired when I tried in 2010 before stepping Europe, even had a big fight and went upto the Prime Ministers office and Chief Justice to try to talk about changing our laws but all in vain, that's why I left that f***** country) So your name nor your gender WILL NEVER BE CHANGED EVEN YOU HAD SRS. I always wondered what was worse if being is a PRE-OP as other girls of 1st world countries with F written on their passport then passing on the scanners with a penis and being jailed as happened to that Canadian girl once or being a passable post-op but then ALL IS MALE on passport even past face. In Dubai I got stopped by police when returning back after SRS cos my past face was not corresponding my actual face but then Chettawutt's certificates fixed this problem.

So I came back to Europe and we lived together 1 year together. To be honest it was not easy at all. It was the first time ever in my life I enter in a serious serious thing and living with someone. The worse thing is my slutty and nymphomaniac character I had from always that was extremely hard to suppress. We kept on clashing about that as on my social networks many handsome would talk to me and he'd get very jealous and aggressive and break objects.

We just got married few months and he told me he is doing this to help me with papers. I'm now on the way to be a Spanish citizen thanks God but my only impedment is my nymphomaniac attitude which is a volcano wanting to erupt. I'VE NEVER CHEATED HIM A SINGLE TIME BUT IT'S GETTING HARDER & HARDER. This cannot be changed whatsoever just like as a trans I could not change my mind to be a straight man as my family wanted but was just retaining for the sake of family and society. I'm retaining just not to hurt him as he loves me so much but I sincerely don't know how far this story would go...

If you have any advice, I'd be greatful...


My past life turmoils and dramatic story...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,167083.msg1450013.html#msg1450013

TRANSITION LIFE SUMMARY
2009: Transitioned Kicked out by family and prestigeous and high paying job, ended up street prostitution, almost got killed by another jealous ->-bleeped-<-, seeking hormones info on Susans with my past Susan account. Worst year of my life. Starting HRT.
2010: Got decent job as trans thanks God, saving money to escape. Lasers hair removal.
2011: Escaping to Europe
2012: Street Prostitution in Spain, Breast Augmentation Implant & Trachea shave
2013: Brothel & Online prostitution in Spain, Nose surgery
2014: SRS Thailand and major turmoils trying to leave Europe back/forth.
2015: Escorting in France
2016: Left Escorting, returned to country to renew passport and reconciliate with family
2017: Married in Spain

I'm not going to cast judgement on you. I understand how hard your road has been and that in the past you may have feel lonely and needy. The things you have been trough are far beyond most people's reach and understanding. It sounds like you are with a man who really loves/treasures you, otherwise he wouldn't have stick around through the difficult times but it seems like it's one sided. While you seem attached to him, you certainly don't feel the same as he does, as you're so tempted to cheat.

This relationship has no truthful Foundation to stand, he wants monogamy, you don't, so that's a core value difference. I would leave him. As painful as it sounds. Honestly. He desserves someone with whom he can build his life Project with, and you deserve just the same. Your life goals seem too different to conciliate.

Quote from: Aurorasky on July 06, 2017, 05:57:36 AM
I'm not going to cast judgement on you. I understand how hard your road has been and that in the past you may have feel lonely and needy. The things you have been trough are far beyond most people's reach and understanding. It sounds like you are with a man who really loves/treasures you, otherwise he wouldn't have stick around through the difficult times but it seems like it's one sided. While you seem attached to him, you certainly don't feel the same as he does, as you're so tempted to cheat.

This relationship has no truthful Foundation to stand, he wants monogamy, you don't, so that's a core value difference. I would leave him. As painful as it sounds. Honestly. He desserves someone with whom he can build his life Project with, and you deserve just the same. Your life goals seem too different to conciliate.

Hi sweetie,

Well in fact sometimes we fought so bad and I wanted to leave. At times I felt suffocated, (he is hacker and hacks the ->-bleeped-<- out of me on my mobile phone and spies me as hell) but when I try to leave he starts threatening me in a serious manner telling he's gonna beat the ->-bleeped-<- out of whoever the next guy I will be and he'll NEVER let me go no matter what. He's a traditional spanish macho man, very jealous and possessive. Honestly I don't wanna leave him neither, it's just that I want some sporadic liberty to take 'fresh air' outside the relationship cos I get bored sometimes. (A nympho's attitude is you can put the most handsome guy in the world in front of her but she'd always try to go f with someone else). I love him so much but what to do I'm born with this defect of being nympho. He retained himself too before not to lose me, it's my turn now and let's see till where it goes, only God knows...

Omg, you are a rebel


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Have you tried the open relationship route again? Or maybe threesomes with him? The second option can be something he might be able to say yes to at some point and you can get your fun without cheating.

Also, you should write a book or a movie script. Your story is incredible.

Por cierto, de dónde eres originalmente? Yo soy colombiana.

Oh my! I know this is your actual life, but it's so scandalous and exciting, from the outside looking in. I so wanna be you, right now. :3

I hope things work out for you. I assume that you have toys that can help you through your cravings, or do you crave lots of men, or new lovers? I like the threesome idea from Charlie Nicki. Maybe another female, since he's such a macho guy? Then maybe let him have his fun so long as you can have your fun? You know, another transition, of sorts. Take it slow. I know it's difficult to be patient, but you gotta be the whispering, loving voice that calms him and lets him know that you're with him, no matter who you F. You know? It sounds like you love each other, through all the pain and pleasure in life.

Quote from: elkie-t on July 06, 2017, 08:21:19 AM
Omg, you are a rebel


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh yeah hon, rebel on all level. Live your life to the max and be happy, you live only once! 

Quote from: Charlie Nicki on July 06, 2017, 03:06:37 PM
Have you tried the open relationship route again? Or maybe threesomes with him? The second option can be something he might be able to say yes to at some point and you can get your fun without cheating.

Also, you should write a book or a movie script. Your story is incredible.

Por cierto, de dónde eres originalmente? Yo soy colombiana.

He hates open relationship. He says that's for perverted people with twisted mind and fake love. Threesome? Honey I might invite you in advance for my funeral. He is an EXTREMIST. He either Black or White, never grey.

Concerning my life story, oh yes. I was planning one day to write a book about my life. It might inspire many girls of the 3rd world how to escape and be able to transition cos some girls in their country's currency might be so weak that they might strain and work their entire life and never be able to transition. Furthermore the persecution is unbearable for many.

Ay nena, odio y me da mucha rabia y asco a mi pais. Ni quiero mencionarlo aqui. Ah me encanta Colombia, espero visitar alli algun dia. Un besito guapa. Muaks!

Quote from: SiobhánF on July 06, 2017, 04:15:56 PM
Oh my! I know this is your actual life, but it's so scandalous and exciting, from the outside looking in. I so wanna be you, right now. :3

I hope things work out for you. I assume that you have toys that can help you through your cravings, or do you crave lots of men, or new lovers? I like the threesome idea from Charlie Nicki. Maybe another female, since he's such a macho guy? Then maybe let him have his fun so long as you can have your fun? You know, another transition, of sorts. Take it slow. I know it's difficult to be patient, but you gotta be the whispering, loving voice that calms him and lets him know that you're with him, no matter who you F. You know? It sounds like you love each other, through all the pain and pleasure in life.

Oh thanks sweetie 

OMG darling I didn't pay Chettawut 8000€ to put plastics inside me, lol. I want real men in flesh. OMG YOU'RE INSPIRING ME TO BE NAUGHTY LOL...I thought of that but it's TOO RISKY. It's the one and foremost thing he will never tolerate if he catches me and will dump me forever. And the guy whoever may it be will find a sure death due to my fault and probably me too. He is very INtolerant and there's no negotiation on the table whatsoever.

Quote from: Aurorasky on July 06, 2017, 05:57:36 AM
I'm not going to cast judgement on you. I understand how hard your road has been and that in the past you may have feel lonely and needy. The things you have been trough are far beyond most people's reach and understanding. It sounds like you are with a man who really loves/treasures you, otherwise he wouldn't have stick around through the difficult times but it seems like it's one sided. While you seem attached to him, you certainly don't feel the same as he does, as you're so tempted to cheat.

This relationship has no truthful Foundation to stand, he wants monogamy, you don't, so that's a core value difference. I would leave him. As painful as it sounds. Honestly. He desserves someone with whom he can build his life Project with, and you deserve just the same. Your life goals seem too different to conciliate.

I have to agree.

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on July 07, 2017, 03:53:24 AM
Oh thanks sweetie 

OMG darling I didn't pay Chettawut 8000€ to put plastics inside me, lol. I want real men in flesh. OMG YOU'RE INSPIRING ME TO BE NAUGHTY LOL...I thought of that but it's TOO RISKY. It's the one and foremost thing he will never tolerate if he catches me and will dump me forever. And the guy whoever may it be will find a sure death due to my fault and probably me too. He is very INtolerant and there's no negotiation on the table whatsoever.

I hear ya. Maybe work it out with him that anytime you need to satisfy a craving, he should come and give it to you. That way, you'll get what you need and he can stop worrying about your fidelity. Just a suggestion. I wouldn't want you to put more strain on the relationship.

I know you think you needed to get married to get a valid visa, but marrying a jealous control freak who wouldn't hesitate to commit murder shows a self-destructive streak.

If you care about yourself at all, get out of there while you still can.

But maybe you have secret death wish, or are co-dependent. Dunno.
But if you actually want to survive, plan carefully and disappear without a trace, or he will track you down.