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Straight transsexuals can never be sincere with partners. Truth or Myth?

Started by Evolving Beauty, July 08, 2017, 10:42:54 AM

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Evolving Beauty

Hey girls,

I'm just wondering if this issue is just here or worldwide. All my friends trans (stealth & open), not a single are sincere with their partners. Not all of us are escorts, some have decent job, and even the ones decent and married cheat on their husbands. I don't know a single trans or never heard a single one who is married 10-20 years and 100% sincere and never cheat.

I'm just wonder if this happens just here or is a global thing with all straight transsexuals
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Harley Quinn

Nope, that's just a personality flaw in my humble opinion. There are a lot of people who are unfaithful in the world, and there are a lot that are completely faithful... the problem is in today's world, it's more socially acceptable for this to happen and combined with the sensationalism of gossip the unfaithful seem to stay in the spotlight. While the faithful float by without scrutiny. What pops into your head first... the story of the cheaters or the couple having a 25 year wedding anniversary? I would bet on the former over the later.
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natalie.ashlyne

I don't think it is a trans problem it is a humanity problem I think more and more people are cheating on their spouses or have the multiple partners I know at least 50% of the people I know cheat and some of it is open relationships so both cis and trans have that problem
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Jenna Marie

I have the weirdest feeling that you've asked this question before... My own experience is the opposite; almost all of my coupled trans friends (straight and not) have been honest with and faithful to their partners. I also agree that cheating doesn't sound like a trans issue per se.
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Devlyn

Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 08, 2017, 03:01:26 PM
I have the weirdest feeling that you've asked this question before... My own experience is the opposite; almost all of my coupled trans friends (straight and not) have been honest with and faithful to their partners. I also agree that cheating doesn't sound like a trans issue per se.

There's a reason for that.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,186276.0.html
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Jenna Marie

Wow, thanks, Devlyn! Now I don't have to worry that I'm hallucinating. :)

(That was two years ago, too. I  can't remember where I left my purse this morning, but I vaguely remembered that. Thanks, brain.)
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Evolving Beauty

Jenna & Devlyn: OMG girls you both are so clever!!!  :o And me I thought everyone forgotten me and if I even existed once in the forum LOL!
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Anne Blake

Our experience will have to support the myth side. We will have been together 34 years this December with total commitment to each other. Neither of us could handle it any other way. We are each other's rock and deception would destroy us.
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JoanneB

I'm not 100% sure what the question really is  ???

My wife self describes herself as "Pathologically Honest". Which is to say she will will be totally honest no matter what, no matter the consequences. Oh yes... she is also post op almost 30 years now.

Not sure what being TG or even TS has to do with "Honesty" in a relationship. Lack of it seems to be the "Human Condition", Cis or TG
.          (Pile Driver)  
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(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Lady Sarah

Quote from: Jenna Marie on July 08, 2017, 03:01:26 PM
I have the weirdest feeling that you've asked this question before... My own experience is the opposite; almost all of my coupled trans friends (straight and not) have been honest with and faithful to their partners. I also agree that cheating doesn't sound like a trans issue per se.

I have to agree with this. Most of the people I know do not cheat on their partner. My husband and I don't cheat either. I am aware of several instances where people have cheated, and divorce soon followed. I also believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater".
started HRT: July 13, 1991
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trach shave: November, 1998
married: August 16, 2015
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Nora Kayte

Quote from: Lady Sarah on July 08, 2017, 08:48:57 PM
I have to agree with this. Most of the people I know do not cheat on their partner. My husband and I don't cheat either. I am aware of several instances where people have cheated, and divorce soon followed. I also believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater".
Yes I believe the same. Once a cheater always a cheater. That is why I am with my wife. She never cheated and I was able to verify. I just do not understand why anyone would ever cheat. No reason to. We have talked about it and both agree that if that feeling was ever there. One which ever side we would go to the other and end it before we would ever cheat. If I did not love her any more, (and that would be the only way I could ever fall for anyone else) I would tell her. It would hurt. But it would hurt a lot less than being cheated on.


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Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
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JMJW

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LizK

Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
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Evolving Beauty

Quote from: JMJW on July 09, 2017, 03:36:06 AM
How would you feel if he cheated on you regularly?

Everyday I pray he accepts to open the relationship. I'm not a 'close-relationship' person but forced into it since 1 year now or I'd lose him forever. I'm not the jealous type but he is. People think if I'm not jealous it means I don't love him it's not true. The fact is I left my ENTIRE life just for him and I haven't cheated on him a single time but it's getting harder and harder to retain as it's not my original self character. But for sake of love, I'm retaining.

I keep on coming up with this topic every time cos I'd feel better if I hear majority other trans are like me. It'd suck to know I'm alone as nympho slut.

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Dena

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on July 09, 2017, 06:08:46 AM
Everyday I pray he accepts to open the relationship. I'm not a 'close-relationship' person but forced into it since 1 year now or I'd lose him forever. I'm not the jealous type but he is. People think if I'm not jealous it means I don't love him it's not true. The fact is I left my ENTIRE life just for him and I haven't cheated on him a single time but it's getting harder and harder to retain as it's not my original self character. But for sake of love, I'm retaining.

I keep on coming up with this topic every time cos I'd feel better if I hear majority other trans are like me. It'd suck to know I'm alone as nympho slut.
The option is yours if you want it. Often the reason people desire more than one person in their life is because they feel insecure in their current relationship. It may date back to childhood and could be caused by growing up without someone they could trust. Therapy can help deal with these issues making you feel more secure in your  current relationship and desiring others less.

You appear to have the good life now so I hope you seek out therapy and deal wth these issues so you can have a long happy relationship.
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RosieD

It depends what you mean by cheat. 'Cheat' is such a strong word loaded with all kinds of morality and judgements.

My wife and I are still together, even with me transitioning. It's just that neither of us are lesbians so that kyboshed any of that side of things. What we have done is be very honest with one another about this and have agreed some rules that we're both happy to live by. We're also open about when we're going to meet up with someone and stand as 'emergency friend' for one another, always guaranteed to be available to call in case a date becomes uncomfortable.

I'm not really sure I would call that cheating TBH.
Well that was fun! What's next?
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JoanneB

My wife, the epitome of a "Hippie Chick", that I pursued for some 10 plus years before we actually actually made it official. She INSISTED upon an "Open Relationship" clause before she could ever allow the "Government" to get into bed with us. Prior to that we've been dating in an On/Off again relationship for about 10 years. With her dating others at the same time.

Her greatest fear today is that I may be the one to "exercise" that clause.

Are you prepared?
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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bubbles21

Hey,

lol i am in my 20's, 3 years married and have never cheated. Never will. I agree with others that honesty or lack there of is an individual problem no matter where you fall on the spectrum. Interesting question though, i knew some people cis couples who had wonderful partners but just cheated for the sake of it, after everything boils down it is more often than not related to one of the partners insecurities as Dena has said.

kind regards,

B
Blossoming with my Happy Pills :)
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SadieBlake

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on July 09, 2017, 06:08:46 AM
Everyday I pray he accepts to open the relationship. I'm not a 'close-relationship' person but forced into it since 1 year now or I'd lose him forever. I'm not the jealous type but he is. People think if I'm not jealous it means I don't love him it's not true. The fact is I left my ENTIRE life just for him and I haven't cheated on him a single time but it's getting harder and harder to retain as it's not my original self character. But for sake of love, I'm retaining.

I keep on coming up with this topic every time cos I'd feel better if I hear majority other trans are like me. It'd suck to know I'm alone as nympho slut.

You're not alone in that, I'm a sexually adventurous girl who's been doing only open relationships for 20 years. Before that I had been in a closed marriage with a woman who supposedly valued fidelity. Unfortunately she was the one to go find another partner who she ultimately dropped many years later, when he had some problems with depression which is exactly what she did with me.

Being with someone when your ideas about relationship are that different isn't easy. For my part I don't accept jealousy as a condition of relationship.
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