Hi, I just passed two months on hrt
and am feeling the effects of the hormones. I notice that my depression which I have seriously struggled with for long time is Lessing and this last week have even noticed some pain/tenderness in my breasts, I am excited about these changes. But I am also scared because I haven't told anyone at work because of fear and find myself panicking about what these next months will be like.  I went to extremes today thinking, "I can't come out to my coworkers, I'll have to move to a bigger city and possibly face homelessness", and, "I am going to have to detransition and wait til I can get my life together better before I try again." I want to keep going with transition because I am 33 and not sure when if ever I will have my life together better. Anyone have any thoughts?

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People are far more accepting today and if you are a good worker and friendly with the others, there is no reason why you can't remain on your current job. There are many stories on this site where people have remained on their current job during their transition. As it will be several months before you will need to make the decision to come out, others may notice the improvement in your attitude and realize this is something you need to do and will accept you when you come out. If you are still nervous, start putting money away just in case. If good things happen, this can be applied toward any future medical needs you may have.

Thank you Dena. I will try and remember this!

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Nowadays, HR people are trained to keep these things confidential and friendly, especially in bigger companies. You may want to come out to HR before your manager notices development in your chest.

Or, if you're very certain you will lose your job (because your manager or owner of the company is transphobic, then you should start sending your resumes around - it's way easier to get your job while still employed. I would suggest telling about your transition early on in the interview process (you'll be very likely to be clocked by your voice, so... - I'd rather explain situation during the initial phone screen or even mention it in the resume...). This way - any leads would be LGBT-friendly companies and you won't waste your time on other losers).


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I was just thinking of when I was first aware of a trans woman at work.  I was aware and that was that.  I didn't treat her any different.  The most I heard about it from our manager was when he said "in your previous life", when talking about something at work before she transitioned.  It was simply matter of fact accepting who she was.  This was at least 25 years ago.