So I have been questioning my gender for a while now (if you want to learn more just read my other posts) and I have wanted to come out to my parents (mostly mom) as well. This week, my dad is away and so are my bothers so it's just me, my mom, and my 5 year old brother. I have been thinking about coming out during this time. The reason it is so hard for me is because I...
1) Wouldn't be able to do the sport I love anymore
2) Would be scared to go to school
3) Am scared the feelings will go away
4)The feelings are weaker right now and I am comfortable as a male mostly right now (settled down this week)

I have an opportunity to come out to my mom and I wan't to take it but at the same time, I don't know if I'm ready even though I think the feeling will stay. Any advise?

Quote from: Britt116 on July 15, 2017, 09:59:51 PM
So I have been questioning my gender for a while now (if you want to learn more just read my other posts) and I have wanted to come out to my parents (mostly mom) as well. This week, my dad is away and so are my bothers so it's just me, my mom, and my 5 year old brother. I have been thinking about coming out during this time. The reason it is so hard for me is because I...
1) Wouldn't be able to do the sport I love anymore
2) Would be scared to go to school
3) Am scared the feelings will go away
4)The feelings are weaker right now and I am comfortable as a male mostly right now (settled down this week)

I have an opportunity to come out to my mom and I wan't to take it but at the same time, I don't know if I'm ready even though I think the feeling will stay. Any advise?

I know how you feel.. I'm constantly having to run cost vs reward calculations on various factors of live in determining if this is something I want to go through with now vs later...

For me this has been the hardest part about the whole thing. I'm not one to care a whole lot about what strangers think the issue I have swing people I've known for years do or think poorly of me for some reason

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I came out to my immediate family as nonbinary partial transmale with a brief, casual, group email that explained my feelings since childhood, gave definitions, and links for further information.

This avoided putting them on the spot, avoided their forgetting or confusing what I said- since it was in writing, and avoided forcing a confrontation. Since it was a group email, nobody felt obliged to respond, so it was mostly ignored, to my relief.

But now they know. They could believe or accept it, or not, but at least they didn't have to do it on the spot.

OK, you are 16. Depending on where you live and the doctors available to you, it's possible you might be able to start on the blockers but you may have to wait until 18 to start on estrogen. You can remain as stealth as long as you want during those two years however you also have the option of part or full time. It will all depend on your family, your desires and the treatment program available to you.

If you tell your mom, you might be able to start with a gender therapist which would help you answer your questions. The decision is yours as we are unable to judge just how you feel about this. I do know that these feeling don't go away and often become stronger over time. Many of the current members on the site are in their 50's and 60's are telling stories of having these feelings in their teens or younger. They kept delaying dealing with them until now and they are no longer able to keep them contained.

Quote from: Britt116 on July 15, 2017, 09:59:51 PM
So I have been questioning my gender for a while now (if you want to learn more just read my other posts) and I have wanted to come out to my parents (mostly mom) as well. This week, my dad is away and so are my bothers so it's just me, my mom, and my 5 year old brother. I have been thinking about coming out during this time. The reason it is so hard for me is because I...
1) Wouldn't be able to do the sport I love anymore
2) Would be scared to go to school
3) Am scared the feelings will go away
4)The feelings are weaker right now and I am comfortable as a male mostly right now (settled down this week)

I have an opportunity to come out to my mom and I wan't to take it but at the same time, I don't know if I'm ready even though I think the feeling will stay. Any advise?

You may or may not have to drop the sport you love. You may or may not find another activity you love more. You won't be able to recover those years you live as male and relive them as a woman. Think about your priorities, time is precious


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Quote from: Dena on July 15, 2017, 10:16:02 PMMany of the current members on the site are in their 50's and 60's are telling stories of having these feelings in their teens or younger. They kept delaying dealing with them until now and they are no longer able to keep them contained.

I am one of those.  The signs were all there - I just didn't recognize them until I was 60.  While delaying may give you a better idea that what you feel is real, don't delay making a decision too long.  If you truly are trans, the younger you start transition, the better your results will be.  I am doing okay now, but I could have saved myself a lifetime of grief.

Quote from: Britt116 on July 15, 2017, 09:59:51 PM
1) Wouldn't be able to do the sport I love anymore
2) Would be scared to go to school
3) Am scared the feelings will go away
4)The feelings are weaker right now and I am comfortable as a male mostly right now (settled down this week)

While some sports regulating organizations are still coming to terms with trans athletes, there is pretty much a consensus in most organizations that FTM athletes can compete immediately as males, and that MTF athletes can compete as females after a year on blockers.

I would be more scared that the feelings would not go away.  Typically, they come and go,but they always come back.  What really happens is that we become better at hiding them from ourselves until the effort becomes too great.

As Dena said, coming out to your mom now might get you in to see a gender therapist, who can help you resolve these issues.

Quote from: Dena on July 15, 2017, 10:16:02 PM
Many of the current members on the site are in their 50's and 60's are telling stories of having these feelings in their teens or younger. They kept delaying dealing with them until now and they are no longer able to keep them contained.

Many of us were terrified of coming out.  Back then we might be considered mentally ill and forced into treatment.

Quote from: Britt116 on July 15, 2017, 09:59:51 PM
So I have been questioning my gender for a while now (if you want to learn more just read my other posts) and I have wanted to come out to my parents (mostly mom) as well. This week, my dad is away and so are my bothers so it's just me, my mom, and my 5 year old brother. I have been thinking about coming out during this time. The reason it is so hard for me is because I...
1) Wouldn't be able to do the sport I love anymore
2) Would be scared to go to school
3) Am scared the feelings will go away
4)The feelings are weaker right now and I am comfortable as a male mostly right now (settled down this week)

I have an opportunity to come out to my mom and I wan't to take it but at the same time, I don't know if I'm ready even though I think the feeling will stay. Any advise?

Hi Britt
Being trans won't stop you from playing the sport you love or make you not scared to go to school. But you do have time and maybe talking to someone like a therapist or someone close to you that is knowledgeable and you trust.

I can remember times when my "feelings" were weaker but they always seemed to come back much stronger the longer I left them. You know your Mum better than anyone here to you are the best judge of how she may react.

Talking about it and exploring your feelings is the only way you are going to be able to make the right decision for you.