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People noticed my mascara...finally

Started by MissKairi, July 13, 2017, 02:33:35 AM

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MissKairi

So I've been wearing subtle mascara to work for around two months. Nobody has said a thing.

Last night it became obvious that people realised and although they never asked me outright (kinda sad about that as I would just say "yes and?" I can tell that people were trying to look at my face and trying to be coy to get me to look at them.

I thought I would be more bothered but I really don't care.
They are work colleagues. That's all. If me wearing eye makeup is such a big deal to them, then maybe they need to grow up a bit.

What I am actually VERY pleased with is that from the indirect comments they thought I was wearing fake eyelashes...I wasn't :)
I've worried about my eyelashes being long enough to be girly...turns out they may well be.

-Side note-

For those who think it was just me being paranoid.
I know what you are saying, I really do, but I spend 14 hours a day with these people. I know how they react around me and I can tell the difference.

One has become quite aggressive towards me, the rest just are curious and I think one is too dense to notice haha

I'm ranting and rambling I know. But it's all good.
So question.

I like my mascara, it makes my eyes look big and pretty.
There's a tiny part of me that says "don't put it on for the next shift" but then most of me says "just wear it, they already know anyway"

What do you think?
Let's see where this journey takes me.
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Julia1996

I say start using jet black mascara and wear it every day. Like you said they already know. Plus it's part of being who you are. Some guy has become aggressive with you? That's not a good thing. Be careful he could like get you in the parking lot and do something to you. Maybe people don't say anything  because you still have some respect as a male. Don't expect it to last. Guys are really strange creatures. When I first started transitioning people of course noticed my make up. Guys would say "are you a ->-bleeped-<-?"  After I told them I was trans they seemed to get over it. Like being a gay male wearing makeup is a totally bad thing but if you're trans its not quite as bad. I gave up trying to understand male logic.

I LOVE fake lashes! I use to wear them all the time. Then I started getting semi permanent lashes. They put them on one lash at a time and tasy last about a month usually before I need to have them filled in. I have decent lashes but they are totally white and it's time consuming to coat them enough to look like normal color lashes without totally clumping them. With the fake lashes I just blend them into the fake ones.
Julia
Julia


Born 1998
Started hrt 2015
SRS done 5/21/2018
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AlyssaJ

I think this is awesome.  I've started doing similar with eyeliner when I have to present as male. Typically it's in public settings (like restaurants, stores, etc.) and I can't say I've ever noticed anyone giving me a second look.  Like you I do it because I like how it makes my eyes look.  Just a little liner on the lower water line and my eyes look bigger and more feminine.

I say keep doing what you enjoy and to hell with them if they got issues with it or feel awkward.  It's not your job to change yourself to make others happy, that's what gets us into this mess of denial and shame. 

Good for you girl!!
"I want to put myself out there, I want to make connections, I want to learn and if someone can get something out of my experience, I'm OK with that, too." - Laura Jane Grace

What's it like to transition at mid-life?  http://transitionat40.com/



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Kendra

Quote from: AlyssaJ on July 13, 2017, 09:20:43 AM
> It's not your job to change yourself to make others happy, that's what gets us into this mess of denial and shame. 
^ Exactly. ^

I've been applying Latisse daily for eyelash growth.  I had started last fall, stopped a month later when I had blepharoplasty (cosmetic eyelid surgery), re-started 6 months later.  I'll admit I initially hesitated during that first month - skipped several days when I chickened out, thinking wow this stuff will look a bit like mascara 24/7 in either mode (I am not out at work or for some social situations).  And then it sunk in, the right thing for my well-being is stop hesitating and go for it.  Alyssa's words of wisdom are what I could have used last fall. 

The three of you ladies each look great in your avatar photos.  Alyssa your recently updated photo is so natural. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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AlyssaJ

Quote from: Kendra on July 13, 2017, 09:43:58 AM
The three of you ladies each look great in your avatar photos.  Alyssa your recently updated photo is so natural.

OMG Girl, thank you for the compliment first of all.  Second, and I hope this doesn't derail the thread, but how has your experience been with Latisse and who prescribed it for you (or did you find away around needing a prescription)?
"I want to put myself out there, I want to make connections, I want to learn and if someone can get something out of my experience, I'm OK with that, too." - Laura Jane Grace

What's it like to transition at mid-life?  http://transitionat40.com/



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Kendra

Latisse requires a prescription in the US, I have a prescription from a US doctor on the east coast... who I have never met.  This involved an online "interview" / acknowledgement.  I know that isn't exactly by the book, but I have been careful with it - Latisse has undesirable side effects if applied incorrectly.  In addition to that, the price causes you to be careful in how it's handled.

My own experience has been - yes Latisse works.  Very gradual, but it is definitely working. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
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MissKairi

Thank you Kenda! That's very sweet of you :)
It's one good photo in a thousand bad but I still appreciate it :)

I'm hoping most people are just leaving it be because I have respect because I have done this job for fifteen years now rather than just being seen as male.
Still, I ain't gonna stop wearing it. I like it 😊
Let's see where this journey takes me.
  •  


Cheaney

Just do you girl! If they have a problem, it's theirs not yours.
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LizK

Quote from: MissKairi on July 13, 2017, 02:33:35 AM

I like my mascara, it makes my eyes look big and pretty.
There's a tiny part of me that says "don't put it on for the next shift" but then most of me says "just wear it, they already know anyway"

What do you think?

Ignore the tiny part of you that says no...I totally agree with the "Just wear it they already know anyway" part...I think the bigger question is what do you add next, a little eyeliner?  :D
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
  •  

kat69

You'll likely find that many people in professional situations will not comment on the appearance of others, especially if they are unsure how a comment will be taken.   It's not acceptable in some places for members of the opposite sex to complement each other as it might be construed as sexual in nature. 

Personally I went full time cold turkey....no lead in out in the public.  Everyone around me at work knows I've transitioned and know that I look for constructive criticism on my appearance.  When I look good, people tell me. 

I know it's easier to out yourself slowly through others doing the work....but at one point you have to take control of you coming out.  Only you can do it, otherwise you'll never feel completely fulfilled.   
Therapy - December 2015
Out to Family - 15 September 2016
Start of Transition - 28 October 2016
Full Time - 2 November 2016
HRT - 23 November 2016
GCS - 30 April 2018 (Dr Brassard)



  •  

MissKairi

Quote from: ElizabethK on July 15, 2017, 12:42:42 AM
Ignore the tiny part of you that says no...I totally agree with the "Just wear it they already know anyway" part...I think the bigger question is what do you add next, a little eyeliner?  :D

Never worn eyeliner before.
Actually that's a lie. I tried for a whole week and made such a ballsup I gave up haha

Quote from: kat69 on July 15, 2017, 09:57:42 AM
You'll likely find that many people in professional situations will not comment on the appearance of others, especially if they are unsure how a comment will be taken.   

Haha my company is FAR from professional
Let's see where this journey takes me.
  •  

Kendra

#12
Kairi, clearly that great photo was not one of a thousand bad because your updated avatar photo is even more awesome! 

I initially struggled with eyeliner, oddly found the name brand stuff doesn't work as well.  I prefer Mac powder and lipstick but the best eyeliner I found is Rimmel, liked it enough to buy several colors.  That's the other thing to consider - color.  Black is a must-have on occasion but brown lets a girl go further without making a raccoon jealous.  I also use a touch of white eyeliner on inner lower lash line (right under the tear duct - and just a small amount).  The contrast helps the brown or black areas pop more.  Try just brown first, it's not as bold and is what I plan to wear to work when I go full time. 
Assigned male at birth 1963.  Decided I wanted to be a girl in 1971.  Laser 2014-16, electrolysis 2015-17, HRT 7/2017, GCS 1/2018, VFS 3/2018, FFS 5/2018, Labiaplasty & BA 7/2018. 
  •  

LizK

Quote from: MissKairi on July 15, 2017, 11:08:41 PM
Never worn eyeliner before.
Actually that's a lie. I tried for a whole week and made such a ballsup I gave up haha

Haha my company is FAR from professional

Love your honesty...Eyeliner and I have never been the best of friends I did however manage to master it eventually...but there were many disasters... :D

It used to get thicker and thicker until I had to wipe it off and start again and if do that enough you end up with Panda eyes....LOL
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
  •  

Rachel_Christina

Eyeliner is easy girl, and the gains are massive, put your liner to the corner of your outer eye, and pull it out a short distance aiming for the end of your eyebrow. Then line from the inside of the upper eye out, don't start at the inner corner, just a little before the pupil and line all the way out to the wing, you can slowly tapper this into the style that fits you, you can thicken it or thin it down.
Doing the lower lash line can ruin the look sometimes, it can bring too much weight to the lower half of your eye.
Depends eye shape though, just play with it, its worth it I think, it's the one thing I could not do my make up withought, is eyeliner. :)


  •  

LizK

Quote from: Rachel_Christina on July 16, 2017, 01:13:35 AM

Doing the lower lash line can ruin the look sometimes, it can bring too much weight to the lower half of your eye.
Depends eye shape though, just play with it, its worth it I think, it's the one thing I could not do my make up withought, is eyeliner. :)

I did read and have tried brown eyeliner instead of the black as brown is supposed to help open my eyes up. I have found for me the black on both looks exactly as you describe, but when I add the brown instead it seems to work pretty well. I am not a makeup expert by any degree and am still learning what works for me. I agree with Rachael _Christina  have a play and see what works for you...
Transition Begun 25 September 2015
HRT since 17 May 2016,
Fulltime from 8 March 2017,
GCS 4 December 2018
Voice Surgery 01 February 2019
  •  

Raell

Well, male rock stars wear eye make up. You could pretend to be in a band.
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